Reflections of My Life

Thank you for asking! I am okay, Just been trying to catch up on some other things that I got behind on.

As much as I love winter, I am looking forward to spring. I miss going outside on "Jazzy". I like going to the store when I need something and not have to ask someone to get it for me. I know I need to try taking the bus so I can do that too. I will try it in the spring. It will be an adventure. I could not buy a lot of stuff at once, nor large items (like toilet paper or paper towels) or heavy ones (like laundry detergent) but I could buy at least a shopping bag full. Only fifty cents one way if you have a Medicare card! A taxi is five bucks one way.

When I get up in the morning, first thing I do after I hit the switch on the coffee maker is to turn on lights. I love lights! The reason being that living at my old home (aka "Peaceful Forest") I had been used to using kerosene lamps. Not very bright! Then as our solar system became larger, there were lights in the kitchen above the sink. It was better then. But still not as nice as having lights you can turn on whenever you want.

As I think back about my life back then, I think I had grown to resent it. I resented the money that was used to build that system. I had a blog that was quite popular called Solar Baby and I wrote about our small system. I made it sound happy. I made it sound like I liked that life but deep down, I did not. I appreciate every convenience I have now........and I have many. Life is like that. One day you think you want one thing and then when you get it you realize you don't want it after all.
 

I have finally made it (well at the end of today) through ten days of sticking 100% to my atkins 72 food plan. It has not always been easy through out these ten days. I cannot tell you how many times before this I start and stop. I kept having water retention in my ankles and feet and it was what pushed me to make a doctor's appointment. Even though I have always had that problem, it is usually in the summer when I am hot or when I have been standing a lot. Twice I had to cancel the doctor appointments due to the weather. Plus I am nervous to go into any medical facility due to the virus. So I thought to myself........"diet is the key. That is what the doctor will tell me to change along with some sort of prescription (which I do not want to start)" So instead of keto, which for some reason I have never been able to stick to, I dug out my Atkins 72 book and now I am on my 10th day. The only bad thing is that I am out of bacon and that really helps (on any low carb food plan).

I feel much better except for my back hurting from reaching my laundry to fold from the shower curtain rod. My water retention is gone. In four more days, I will try on my black pants (favorites that I judge my weight with) to see how they fit. My whole life I have always been a slow loser, so I am always happy with whatever is less.

The first time I went on this diet, years ago, I lost about 12 lbs in the first week. I had never lost that much before. But it was a struggle to stick with it due to living with a big eater. I do very good when I am alone and eating alone. Like the last time Sonny took me shopping.........he kept saying, "you are doing great." Then in the store he is looking for sherbet for me........I said I can't have it. He asks why? I said it is not low carb, it is a processed food and has lots of sugar in it. Oh.
 
I caught a cold and am trying to stay in my apartment so no one else gets it. Sonny brought my groceries a few days ago. He is the one who gave it to me so it was okay that he came here. He had a doctor's appointment and on the way home he did the grocery thing for me. I have been keeping busy working on transferring my photos from one hard drive to another one. Plus working on my new website. Keeps me busy anyway, cold or not.

Yesterday was a great day for me. I tried on my favorite black pants that I could not wear anymore. They fit! They fit so good that I wore them yesterday. I could even sit in them. 14 days on Atkins 72 has been good for me. I feel so much better. My bra is baggy too.......a sure sign for me since that is always the first place I lose. Ha ha! I can do this. Not so bad once I really got into it.

I am anxious for spring this year so I can start working on a number of projects I have in mind. Cleaning out my storage area and donating or giving a lot of things away. I don't need to waste that space. After I do that I plan on keeping extra supplies down there. I am going to put my carpet shampooer down there too. I can bring it up when I use it. I have only used it once since I bought it. So I will use it and then store it downstairs (as soon as I have the room in there).

I heard someone talking in my hallway and they said that Tops is merging with Price Chopper. I hope not! Tops is the only store right in downtown Norwich. People who do not have cars go there to shop. I can go there on my mobility chair and it gives me independence to be able to go to a real grocery store. Price Chopper is too far.
 
I have been busy doing some projects here. Of course, I had that cold but it is gone now. Then on Tuesday, I woke up in the middle of the night to find Rabbit was sick. Very sick! I was beside myself all day over him. Rabbits have a very fragile system and it is hard to know when something is wrong with them until it is almost too late. I was a wreck all day thinking I was losing him. It was freezing outside and the roads were bad. I could not take him to a vet and besides the rabbit is vet is over 40 miles away. Plus it is very expensive just for them to look at a "exotic pet" like a rabbit. I was used to doctoring my pets and horses, so I had to try with him. The key is to get him to eat hay, which he was not doing. Just drinking tons of water (which normally he does not do). FINALLY..........that night, I heard him eating hay! Yes, he started eating the hay that was under the table. That got stuff moving for him. I prayed all day for him to recover and my prayers were answered. He is back to normal now.

Sonny took me shopping yesterday and he brought me water and hay. So I am set for awhile now. Remember I told you how Sonny always gets me to eat stuff that is not low carb? Well, he went to his doctor last week and now he is back on diabetic medicine. I didn't say, "I told you so." Makes it easier for me to eat with him now. At least he is not eating sweets, breads, potatoes, etc. He follows more of a diabetic diet I think. Plus now when we shopped and I showed him the difference in two sour cream brands by reading him the ingredient labels, I think he actually paid attention.
 
I hate when I wake up and discover I was dreaming about my first husband! Since I have been married three times, I have certain dreams that the each of them is in. I don't know why that is since the dream itself is not about something particular in my life at that time period.

I know I might regret it, but I ended up retiring my cast iron skillets and griddle yesterday. The skillets are small. The one I use the most is only about 6 or 8 inches. I will keep it but not use it.....just in case. The other two are even smaller. Just big enough to saute some onions or mushrooms or a very small burger. The griddle is one of those round ones. I just cannot lift them and have difficulty cooking with them. My wrists have been giving me trouble for some time. Maybe they are cause of it (I hope). Anyway, I bought a set of 3 nonstick skillets and hope I can use them happily. I have avoided nonstick stuff for a long time, but they are so much lighter and one of my friends who has a fakebook page for her recipes uses them. She is a naturopathic physician and writes her recipes for keto and paleo food plans. She told how to to use and care for them so I am going to try. Most important is to not use high heat or let anything burn.

Our manager listened to one of my neighbors and let us have a "Free" table in the laundry room again. Now when I want to get rid of things I can put it down there. So happy about that. You hate to throw stuff out and carting it to a thrift store is a chore when I do not have a car. So I put one or two items on the table at a time. Still waiting for her to allow us to have our community room back for Bingo, Movie NIght and our potluck dinners. We are thinking of having a coffee time in our hallway. At the end of the hall there is room for putting some chairs and a table and we can all sit and talk there. Not that many tenants come to these anyway, less than 10. But it would be fun.
 
katlupe said:
I hate when I wake up and discover I was dreaming about my first husband! Since I have been married three times, I have certain dreams that the each of them is in. I don't know why that is since the dream itself is not about something particular in my life at that time period.

I know I might regret it, but I ended up retiring my cast iron skillets and griddle yesterday. The skillets are small. The one I use the most is only about 6 or 8 inches. I will keep it but not use it.....just in case. The other two are even smaller. Just big enough to saute some onions or mushrooms or a very small burger. The griddle is one of those round ones. I just cannot lift them and have difficulty cooking with them. My wrists have been giving me trouble for some time. Maybe they are cause of it (I hope). Anyway, I bought a set of 3 nonstick skillets and hope I can use them happily. I have avoided nonstick stuff for a long time, but they are so much lighter and one of my friends who has a fakebook page for her recipes uses them. She is a naturopathic physician and writes her recipes for keto and paleo food plans. She told how to to use and care for them so I am going to try. Most important is to not use high heat or let anything burn.

Our manager listened to one of my neighbors and let us have a "Free" table in the laundry room again. Now when I want to get rid of things I can put it down there. So happy about that. You hate to throw stuff out and carting it to a thrift store is a chore when I do not have a car. So I put one or two items on the table at a time. Still waiting for her to allow us to have our community room back for Bingo, Movie NIght and our potluck dinners. We are thinking of having a coffee time in our hallway. At the end of the hall there is room for putting some chairs and a table and we can all sit and talk there. Not that many tenants come to these anyway, less than 10. But it would be fun.
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I have the same problem lifting even the lightweight pots, another reason why grumpy pants has to cook
 
Yesterday, I colored my hair. It looks really good. But, doing it was the worst. I suffer from Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and usually the smell of the dye has not ever bothered me. This time it did. I know I should just let it go gray and give up. But I just don't like it that way. So when I have my appointment with my hairdresser next week I will talk to her about having her do it from now on and see how much it will cost. My hair is thick so has always needed two boxes of color. But maybe it would only take one box if she just touches up the roots. I will see what she says.

I finally removed my gel nails. Not easy to do! So as my real nails grow in, I will try to keep them manicured myself and I used Sally Hansen's Hard As Nails on them. I used to always use that. The smell from that was horrible though so I had to apply it downstairs in the laundry room. My nail salon had a fire and is not open and looks like they are still working on it. So I am taking a break from it for now.

One of my friends here, a lady who is 96 and the oldest person here, went to the manager and asked when we could go back to using our community room and not limited to 2 people or till 4:00 PM. The manager said, as long as you do it behind my back when I am not here. So next Friday we are going to have a coffee and goodies gathering! Sonny is invited too. I am going to experiment with making some kind of low carb goody for Sonny and me and for anyone else that can't eat regular cookies. It is hard because the lady who is 96 is the best baker and makes really good desserts. I have to remain strong though.
 
Sun is shining this morning. It feels like spring is on its way, even though we are also getting those fine snowflakes. Rained over the last couple of days and very high winds has been getting rid of the snow. I expect we will get more snow before May shows up. But just to see the grass again is a happy sign.I appreciate every season. But really looking forward to the spring and days when I can go out on Jazzy and go to the park or the store on my own again.

Three years ago this month is when I started working on the paperwork to move out of my house and leave my marriage. It was a lot of paperwork and I had to do it twice. It was worth it. At that time I'd say I was just getting over being depressed and thinking I had some disease and was going to die there. I did not have enough income to live on my own because I was mainly a stay at home mother (with a disabled child) most of my life. I thought there was no way I could leave. The manager of this place though, helped me. She put my name on the top of the waiting list based on "need". She felt that since I was living without running water or a real bathroom and not able to go to a doctor for normal care that I was in "need". I think she was right. I thank God for her help every day.

Friday we are having a coffee hour downstairs in our community room at last! I am looking forward to it. Things are opening up here in NY now, but I am still being careful.

I hope you all have a great day!
 
Sonny and I ran errands yesterday, which is doing my son's money, getting money orders for my son's rent and mine, groceries and then at 3:30 we had our hair appointments. So I talked to my hairdresser and next month I will start having her do my color. It will be worth it and I am looking forward to it. Yesterday she did the best job on my hair that she ever did. I am quite happy with her.

I have a list of calls to make today. One thing I hate to do. But have to and one of them is to our manager. It is time for my re-certification for my apartment. That means my rent will go up a few dollars at least. But I am not complaining. I live in a great place for a very good price.

I have been giving Rabbit 11 fresh blueberries in the evening when I am watching videos and coloring. He comes to me when I sit down in the recliner after finishing up everything in the kitchen and getting ready for bed. My relaxation time before bed. Well yesterday, even though they were on my grocery list.........I forgot to get the blueberries! I had some frozen ones and gave them to him........but he was not happy! So depending on what the weather is, I will see if it is possible to go on Jazzy to Tops. I might have to take a different route due to water on some of the sidewalk and the parking lot at Tops. But I can find my way around it. I hate to get Jazzy wet underneath but my bunny was really adamant about the blueberries last night. Sonny won't be here till tomorrow for the coffee hour. So.......I hope I can go.
 
I did not go to Tops on Jazzy today. It was deceiving to look outside and see the sunny spring like day. When I went to the dumpster the wind was blowing so hard and it was freezing. So I will give Rabbit apple pieces tonight for his night time treat.

I am proud of myself. Today I did all but one my calls on list. Now I have a doctor's appointment for the 16th. It will be a new doctor. So I will see what's going on.

Tuesday night my neighbor across the hall, a man, came knocking on my door. He was locked out of his apartment and wanted to use a knife to pry the lock open Well that would not work. He said his extra keys were in his car that he had just taken to the shop for a repair. He said he was going to have to bust it down. These are very heavy steel doors, I doubted he could do that. I heard him trying. Then he went to another neighbor, the guy next to me and he said he might have a pry bar. I guess they got in. The door looks okay to me and I didn't hear anyone fixing it. I know if you damage it, then you have to pay for the repair. I keep my extra key at my friend's apartment across the hall. I have had to get it from her twice, I think. Sonny also has a whole set of keys to my building and apartment and storage room and my storage area. And he has a key to my son's apartment too. It is good to have extra keys somewhere.
 
We had our "Coffee Hour" in the community room yesterday. Just a handful of people, less than 10. Ten were invited but not all were able to make it. Just coffee and some cookies, cake and little muffins. I brought sugar-free grain-free brownies that came out pretty good. But mostly Sonny and I had those. I had two. I will tweak that recipe a bit more.

After that we went to Walmart and then to the Chinese restaurant for supper. It was a nice finish to a nice day.

Today looks to be a quiet day. Snow flurries in the air, windy and cold. After my normal daily chores, just going to take it easy. I probably will work on transferring my photos to my newer external hard drive. I have been making a lot of progress on that project.
 
I have been moving photos from my old external hard drive to the new one. These go back to 2009. Seeing them has brought so many memories back to me. All the hopes I had for my little homestead, Peaceful Forest. I am sad that it did not turn out the way I imagined. I realize now that my husband did not really share the same dream. He pretended to. If he had, I am sure things would have turned out differently. I am not blaming him entirely. Having three horses made me hold on to it a lot longer than I should have. The really sad part is that I left, my son left, the horses went to a new home........and now my husband still lives there, alone. He hated the work of living there. No running water and not enough electric to power a full house with conveniences. But he is still there.

I don't mean to sound sad about my life now. I love my apartment and my life here. Maybe when I go to the doctor next week I can start figuring out what i need to do to improve my health. I am usually against medical procedures and medicine, but I have decided to have an open mind. People with less mobility issues than I have are having knee replacements and other procedures, so maybe I will see what the doctor thinks about my situation.

Going to the doctor is my first step. I made a list of all the things I need to do and I intend to follow it through. Life is too short at my age to put things off.
 
Getting ready right now to go outside on Jazzy. It has been since December 20th that I have taken a ride on it. I have missed it so much. I was used to being outside a lot. Even in winter, my cat and I would take long walks in the forest. I feel refreshed after being outside for awhile. Since I now am dependent on wheels, on my rolling walker or mobility chair, I cannot go many places in the winter. It makes me look forward to spring.
 
I did go out. Just sat in the sun after I applied my "Hard As Nails" to my nails. They are coming along quite nicely. Kind of rough on your nails if you take the gel nails off yourself. I am taking a break from having them done for a bit.

The parks have patches of green showing, but the sidewalks are impossible for someone using a chair or a rolling walker. I saw a couple walking with their matching rolling walkers, just different colors. They were smiling real big. Said hi. Everybody was friendly and looked happy today. My neighbor who was in her mobility chair too, lives across the hall from me, stopped to chat for a minute. She was on her way to Walgreens to get her vaccine shot.

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As you can see the paths were not passable for me today.


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I sat on the sidewalk by the court house in the sun for awhile. Felt SO good!

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My apartment building is right across the street from the library and the court house.
 
Last week I made Sugar-Free Grain-Free Chocolate Brownies. They were made with almond meal (blanched ground almonds) and coconut oil. They were very good. I made them with Swerve but you can use any sweetener. I took them to our coffee hour downstairs. I had plenty to bring back home because most people (even diabetics) will always choose the regular cookies and cakes over sugar free. That was okay with me. I only eat one at a time, usually only one for the whole day. Anyway, the thing I discovered about these brownies is that when you store them in the refrigerator, they are like fudge when you eat them. I think it is due to the coconut oil in them. Mmmm! Better than warm from the oven!

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Today was another nice day here in NY. I even have my window open! Rabbit is loving that. Last night I was watching "Mad About You" and part of the story was about a baby white rabbit. So cute!

I am looking forward to Saturday because Sonny and I are going to the Salvation Army in Binghamton. They are having a 50% off everything in the store day. I also am stopping by my friend's house to leave some books and stuff I was getting rid of (uncluttering.....it is good stuff) to drop off. Making room in my storage area I hope.

I had planned on going out on Jazzy again today, but got into doing some computer work. I don't need anything from the store so I just kept working.
 
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