Reflections of My Life

Does Rabbit drink coffee?
iu


asa.jpg
 

Yesterday, Sonny came over and we took the trunk to my aide's house. It was also her first day working at the lady upstairs' apartment. She was there for 2 hours. Then came down here and worked here for 2 hours. I talked with her about changing my hours to one hour four times a week instead. I would rather have her do that because in one hour it seems like she has done everything I need done. This way she can take the garbage out and with winter coming that is a concern of mine. She will also be working for the lady across the hall. Two hours twice a week.

Today my aide will be back at noon. Other than that, I am taking it easy. Going to the store really tires me out. I come home and need to put my legs up, but couldn't because Sonny was here and we got some take out food while we were out. So today, I will try. What I try to do is to put my legs up sitting in the recliner for at least half an hour. Then get up from there and do some stuff, maybe on the computer for a couple of hours. Then go back to the recliner for another half and hour. Sometimes I end up reading, watching videos or doing word searches, etc.

It is difficult not to stand in place for very long because people always stop to talk to me. Someone comes to my door and doesn't want to come inside and I end up standing there talking to them. From now on, today, I am going to grab my walker and sit down. The doctor even told me to avoid standing for longer than 5 minutes at a time.

I am eager to work with my bedroom space a bit. Now it is not blocked by the trunk, but the bunny cage is there so need to fix it so I can use my walker in there to get to the bed. I might not be able to go right to the bed but I have the stationary walker there too so I can grab that. It will work and it will also look uncluttered.
 
I am waiting for Sonny to get here and then we will be going downstairs to our Thanksgiving dinner in the community room. We will see how it goes.

Earlier I took my garbage out so went for a little walk. I walked up as far as the Episcopal church and then across the street to the park and back home. It was snowing a bit while I walked but I liked it. It felt good to be outside and in the cold fresh air. I used to walk a lot at my house winter or not.

It was actually the first time I got outside for any length of time since I could not drive my mobility chair. The fall colors are not as pretty as previous years. I think it may have something to do with the unseasonable temperatures we have had this year.

This is a picture I took of my apartment building from the park.

norwich_senior_housing.JPG
 

Yesterday, Sonny came over and we took the trunk to my aide's house. It was also her first day working at the lady upstairs' apartment. She was there for 2 hours. Then came down here and worked here for 2 hours. I talked with her about changing my hours to one hour four times a week instead. I would rather have her do that because in one hour it seems like she has done everything I need done. This way she can take the garbage out and with winter coming that is a concern of mine. She will also be working for the lady across the hall. Two hours twice a week.

Today my aide will be back at noon. Other than that, I am taking it easy. Going to the store really tires me out. I come home and need to put my legs up, but couldn't because Sonny was here and we got some take out food while we were out. So today, I will try. What I try to do is to put my legs up sitting in the recliner for at least half an hour. Then get up from there and do some stuff, maybe on the computer for a couple of hours. Then go back to the recliner for another half and hour. Sometimes I end up reading, watching videos or doing word searches, etc.

It is difficult not to stand in place for very long because people always stop to talk to me. Someone comes to my door and doesn't want to come inside and I end up standing there talking to them. From now on, today, I am going to grab my walker and sit down. The doctor even told me to avoid standing for longer than 5 minutes at a time.

I am eager to work with my bedroom space a bit. Now it is not blocked by the trunk, but the bunny cage is there so need to fix it so I can use my walker in there to get to the bed. I might not be able to go right to the bed but I have the stationary walker there too so I can grab that. It will work and it will also look uncluttered.
I have similar concerns about hiring an aide to come in a few hours each week.

What I would really like is a middle school kid to stop each day after school to bring up the mail, help with a few chores and maybe run to the store.

I hesitate to go looking for someone and keep hoping that someone will magically appear.😊
 
I have similar concerns about hiring an aide to come in a few hours each week.

What I would really like is a middle school kid to stop each day after school to bring up the mail, help with a few chores and maybe run to the store.

I hesitate to go looking for someone and keep hoping that someone will magically appear.😊
A school age kid would probably love a job a like that. You could ask at the local school or churches. Someone probably needs a job and can't find one.
 
We had our Thanksgiving dinner downstairs in the community room. Sonny and I were there and 8 more people. It was nice but not as nice as it used to be. One of the people there was the woman who has not lived here very long and she is one of those who has been changing things in the community room about what we can and cannot do down there. The other person is a guy who tries to be buddy-buddy with her and her little group and then with us. So I felt uncomfortable. I didn't feel free to just talk and laugh like we usually do.

Sonny was very quiet which is not normal for him and someone even mentioned it. I think it was just that he is not feeling very good. I ate about a tablespoon of each thing. It didn't seem to taste as good as usual. Except for the butternut squash. That was really good. Even better than the pumpkin pie.

I told Sonny he should go to his family's Thanksgiving dinner next week. I feel he should spend the holiday with his family since he doesn't know how many more holidays they will have together. I am sure they will miss him if he doesn't go. He said he feels funny going by himself. Why? He goes to all kinds of things to do with his racing friends by himself and that doesn't bother him. I feel he is trying to make me feel like I have to go. It will not work. I am not going.

If he comes here, he will have to eat a keto meal and no holiday traditional food. Basically a piece of chicken and salad. I am just tired of always putting myself on hold for others.
 
I am always happy to see Monday come around. For me it has always been a start of something new. It just cheers me so to be able to see the progress I make even if it not of any importance to anyone but Rabbit and me. Like removing that old trunk last week. It made such a difference! For me, since now I can use my walker to go to the windows or to go to my bed or vanity.

It made a difference for Rabbit too. In fact, when I woke up this morning that is where he was sleeping. Not far from the heater but not too close either. I end up turning the heat up at night and turning it down in the morning for the day. Rabbit is on the floor so it is colder down there. I do not want him to get cold.

I used to write a blog called "Little Steps" and that is how I deal with my life. In little steps..........one little change added to more little changes along the way adds up to a much bigger change along the way. Sometimes (especially now) I have to really pray for more patience, even though I have always had much patience. It is true though, that God has his own timetable and waiting usually pays off. Might not seem like it is quick enough, but it will come.
 
I awoke to what I thought was the garbage truck, It was not. The snowplow. I get up and look out the window and yes, we had some snow. Living in a city the snow is not as pretty as when you live in the country. I have to say that is one of the things I miss about Peaceful Forest. The incredible quiet of the snowfall.

Yesterday was the day my mother died 19 years ago. Hard to believe she has been gone that long. There have been many times in my life since though, that I feel her presence. I did not feel her yesterday, but I know she is near at times.

I changed my aide's hours so now she is coming for one hour four days a week. That is more helpful to me. I used to worry about taking the garbage out when it snowed. Now she will be doing that for me. I will just have to take care of it on the week-end. I still do a lot of my household chores myself. It is the ones I have trouble doing that I have her do. Vacuuming she does, but I do it too. If she doesn't get to it or it is a day she doesn't come and it needs it done then I do it. Actually since I got this vacuum cleaner I like to do it more than I ever did.

Rabbit is now used to having someone new come here often. So he comes out to see her. Whenever anyone comes to my apartment the first thing they do is to look for him. If he sleeping somewhere hidden though he doesn't usually come out.
 
This is a picture of my old NY Homesteading Basics forum at one of our lunches. I am not sure what year this was but before 2009 for sure because I see this picture was not taken with my good camera.

We met mostly online posting on homesteading subjects. Most of us came from the Homesteading Today forum and wanted a NY version so we could meet in person. We became friends. Pretty good friends and more people joined us. I was one of the two administrators. One of the things we used to do was to meet at the Mennonite store in a nearby town and do some shopping. Then go out to lunch. After lunch we would go to Frog Pond, which is a big produce market that is open from about Easter to Thanksgiving.

Sometimes we would meet at someone's home and have a big potluck. Then each person would tell a bit about their homestead and what they have been doing. Often we would have a guest or two that would discuss a subject that was of interest to homesteaders (modern homesteaders is the correct term). Many people would bring gifts of things they grew, raised or had made for each person. It was all about sharing. If someone needed help, we could plan a day of going to their homestead and pitch in or just offer support or food.

Things changed as we got older. Health issues.

homesteaders1.jpg

One couple in the group had built a passive solar house that was absolutely amazing. They built it with the intent of having very little upkeep or work to do on it as they got older. I believe it has more than passed their goals for it. In the winter they only had to have a wood stove going in the early morning. Even on days there was not much sun it held the heat from the day before. They had radiant heat piped underneath the floors but had no plans to use it until they were actually retired. Just tested it a couple of times a year to be sure it was working. It was amazing. Not off the grid though and not far from a small town or a large city in our area.

farmmaidhouse2.jpg
 
Lately I have gotten so tired of cooking anything that uses a lot of pots, pans, dishes, utensils or anything that I have to wash. I try to keep the dishpan full of hot soapy water and wash as I go. Sometimes I just want to sit down so bad that I neglect to keep up with it. Thankfully, Sonny does not pressure me so much to do meals together unless it is take out food or the Chinese buffet down the street.

It is not that I don't like cooking. I must. I watch cooking videos more than any other type of video. I tried to get Sonny to go to his family's Thanksgiving dinner (without me, of course) but no. He refused. He is coming here. So when the church down the street sent someone by to ask us to fill out a paper if we would like a dinner delivered to us on Thanksgiving morning.......already cooked and ready to eat...........I signed up for two for us here. And one for my son at his apartment. He really does not want to come here or go anywhere. So I just have to call him to make sure he is awake when they come.

Maybe Sonny will get bored here and work on my tires on Jazzy. I miss using it so much. After he gets these tires on and everything is working good again I am going to research for future repairs. Maybe it is one problem of buying something used but these things sell for about three thousand dollars new. I paid $300. to the lady downstairs.

So today I will eat a traditional dinner then tomorrow back to keto. I will be looking forward to it and back to normal life. Holidays seem to disrupt the flow of normal life for me. Always have though. No more.
 
Sonny and I had a nice quiet dinner and then watched a movie, The Other Woman. It was nice and I did not have to get stressed out about anything.

Sometimes I wonder if my home is too quiet for him. Often as soon as he gets here he turns his phone on with a tv show on. Always too noisy for me. I try not to say anything but I think he can tell it bothers me. His house is VERY noisy and even when talking on the phone I make up an excuse of why I have to go. I just cannot take the noise.

Now that I got that holiday out of the way, I am not taking part in Christmas this year. I will give out cards to the people in my building and send a few out in the mail but other than that, nope.

Even though I watch movies through Prime Video, most of my time is spent watching YouTube videos. I follow a number of channels and really enjoy them better than movies. When Sonny is here, I put on a movie because I doubt he would be interested in the videos I follow. Except for Lennon the Bunny. He likes that one.
 
Well my aide is still sick. She called and offered to come today or tomorrow but I could hear that cold in her voice. I told her wait till Monday and see how she feels. It is not worth it to me to catch a cold.

Made myself a gingerbread cold coffee.......not technical term for it as it is just coffee that I mad earlier and had enough for this left over. Not a cold brew thing. But it good and I like it.

My brother called me last night. Late. I was already asleep but when I saw it was him I awoke pretty fast. Never know if there an emergency of some sort. He hardly ever calls me. The last time I talked to him was at his wild west show back in July. Anyway, he talked mostly and I listened.

We have one of those weird relationships. He talks about himself, who he saw, what he did and what be bought. Then if I say anything about myself or my life......he always has to get off the phone. I have learned over the years, to not go into anything about myself with him. The people on this forum or fakebook know more about me than my own brother does or cares about knowing.

I discussed him with my psychologist a little bit ago and he said "how can you have a relationship or love someone who only cares about themselves?" I never thought about it before because our relationship has always been like that. I do not want to cut him off from my life even though I don't see or talk to him much. I am not blind to him or his way but no matter what he is my brother and all I have outside of my son.

I know if I had a problem or needed money or any kind of help I could never go to him. Then when I got myself out of the situation, he would ask why I didn't come to him. So this is the way it is and I have lived with it all these years not going to change now. Though I will add, that when he needed help he always came to me and I helped him. And I still would if I could. Like I said he is all I have.
 
Well my aide is still sick. She called and offered to come today or tomorrow but I could hear that cold in her voice. I told her wait till Monday and see how she feels. It is not worth it to me to catch a cold.

Made myself a gingerbread cold coffee.......not technical term for it as it is just coffee that I mad earlier and had enough for this left over. Not a cold brew thing. But it good and I like it.

My brother called me last night. Late. I was already asleep but when I saw it was him I awoke pretty fast. Never know if there an emergency of some sort. He hardly ever calls me. The last time I talked to him was at his wild west show back in July. Anyway, he talked mostly and I listened.

We have one of those weird relationships. He talks about himself, who he saw, what he did and what be bought. Then if I say anything about myself or my life......he always has to get off the phone. I have learned over the years, to not go into anything about myself with him. The people on this forum or fakebook know more about me than my own brother does or cares about knowing.

I discussed him with my psychologist a little bit ago and he said "how can you have a relationship or love someone who only cares about themselves?" I never thought about it before because our relationship has always been like that. I do not want to cut him off from my life even though I don't see or talk to him much. I am not blind to him or his way but no matter what he is my brother and all I have outside of my son.

I know if I had a problem or needed money or any kind of help I could never go to him. Then when I got myself out of the situation, he would ask why I didn't come to him. So this is the way it is and I have lived with it all these years not going to change now. Though I will add, that when he needed help he always came to me and I helped him. And I still would if I could. Like I said he is all I have.
Same with my brother and his entire family
 
Well my aide is still sick. She called and offered to come today or tomorrow but I could hear that cold in her voice. I told her wait till Monday and see how she feels. It is not worth it to me to catch a cold.

Made myself a gingerbread cold coffee.......not technical term for it as it is just coffee that I mad earlier and had enough for this left over. Not a cold brew thing. But it good and I like it.

My brother called me last night. Late. I was already asleep but when I saw it was him I awoke pretty fast. Never know if there an emergency of some sort. He hardly ever calls me. The last time I talked to him was at his wild west show back in July. Anyway, he talked mostly and I listened.

We have one of those weird relationships. He talks about himself, who he saw, what he did and what be bought. Then if I say anything about myself or my life......he always has to get off the phone. I have learned over the years, to not go into anything about myself with him. The people on this forum or fakebook know more about me than my own brother does or cares about knowing.

I discussed him with my psychologist a little bit ago and he said "how can you have a relationship or love someone who only cares about themselves?" I never thought about it before because our relationship has always been like that. I do not want to cut him off from my life even though I don't see or talk to him much. I am not blind to him or his way but no matter what he is my brother and all I have outside of my son.

I know if I had a problem or needed money or any kind of help I could never go to him. Then when I got myself out of the situation, he would ask why I didn't come to him. So this is the way it is and I have lived with it all these years not going to change now. Though I will add, that when he needed help he always came to me and I helped him. And I still would if I could. Like I said he is all I have.
My relationship with my older sister is very similar.
 
The sad thing is they never change.

I have lived here for over three years and my brother has never come to my apartment. He has at various times had to go to the motor vehicle office or the tax office. I live within walking distance of that office. I do not have a car so the only times I have gone to his house is when Sonny took me.

I realize that the two people who are my immediate family, my brother and my son are both the ones who will not go into a hospital to visit anyone. My son has always had panic attacks upon going into one. My brother says he does not want to remember people in the hospital.

I figure if I die after Sonny, I will be dying alone. It is fine with me because I know I won't be asking for anyone.

When my father was dying he asked for my brother. My husband had to call my brother and practically yelled at him about coming to the hospital to see our father. That was the only time he was there. My niece and I were there every day. Not together though! But at least she was there, causing trouble but there. Later my brother said he was glad he went to see him???????????????? I had to bite my tongue on that one.

I just said I was there every day. He said he didn't want to remember him like that. Well, neither did I, but wanted to be with him every second I could. And I didn't want him to feel alone or unloved. He was a wonderful father and he deserved more than that.

Well, going to put all that out of my head. Tomorrow is the start of a new period in my life. I got through Thanksgiving and now I am free of holiday pressures.
 
I have had a nice day. I still felt bad today, but I think it is the aftermath of having eaten bad food. Now after two days of eating strictly Keto, I am feeling much better.

My friend and neighbor down the hall was here for awhile and it was nice having company. That is one thing about living in a building like this, there are people to make friends with. And you don't even have to go outside to visit them!

Everyone thinks I decorated for Christmas already........no, I leave my little tree up on top of my curio cabinet year round. Put the lights on whenever it looks dreary out......May, August or December, doesn't matter. Most of my decorations that I have had over the years are downstairs in my storage locker. I need to go through those and get rid of them. Not sure when because I thought I'd have my aide help me but might not be till next year.

Well, I am going to get off my computer for the night and get my legs up and watch some videos on the television. Have a good night!
 
Today, my aide is supposed to be back to work. Unless she is still sick. I remember at first, I wasn't sure I would like having an aide but now that I have gotten accustomed to her, I am thankful for the help. My friends (and neighbors, one across the hall and the other is upstairs) hired her to be their aide also. So she has 3 clients here in the same building.

When they asked me about her, I was afraid they would not like her because she is kind of loud.....but good for the one who is hard of hearing. I like her and am pleased that they hired her. If she is not back, I will do my laundry today. At least some of it.

While I am downstairs, I will take a peek in my storage locker to see what is the next thing I can give away or throw out that is taking up room. I am going to get my Christmas bulbs and clean them up and put them into some of the vases on top of my cupboard. I had done that with a few and just keep them like that all the time. The lights hit them and makes them kind of glittery and looks nice. It is a good way to use the bulbs that I am sentimental about.
 
Today, my aide is supposed to be back to work. Unless she is still sick. I remember at first, I wasn't sure I would like having an aide but now that I have gotten accustomed to her, I am thankful for the help. My friends (and neighbors, one across the hall and the other is upstairs) hired her to be their aide also. So she has 3 clients here in the same building.

When they asked me about her, I was afraid they would not like her because she is kind of loud.....but good for the one who is hard of hearing. I like her and am pleased that they hired her. If she is not back, I will do my laundry today. At least some of it.

While I am downstairs, I will take a peek in my storage locker to see what is the next thing I can give away or throw out that is taking up room. I am going to get my Christmas bulbs and clean them up and put them into some of the vases on top of my cupboard. I had done that with a few and just keep them like that all the time. The lights hit them and makes them kind of glittery and looks nice. It is a good way to use the bulbs that I am sentimental about.
Usually people who are loud have a degree of hearing loss. She might not even know she has hearing loss.
 
Yesterday was an interesting day. My neighbors decorated the hall. I could not help because I could not stand but I sat out there with them while they did it. My aide came and did my laundry. She is all better. Sonny came and brought me water and then ran some errands I needed.

My neighbor across the hall, the lady that is 96 and has lived here for 27 years was visited by two police officers. Turns out the two ladies and the manager causing chaos here (the chaos sisters is what I call them) called the police and said someone stole a Christmas tree out of the new game room they decorated. My neighbor was seen on the video camera taking it.

Turned out........it belonged to her! She had kept it stored in the storage locker with the apartment building's Christmas decorations because the prior manager let her store it there all these years. She called it her Charlie Brown Christmas tree and right on the bottom of it that is what is printed there. Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. After the officers left, she went right down to the manager and told the manager what she thought about her and her skills as a manager. She does use bad language quite often so I can only imagine what she was saying.

Last week after our inspections, the neighbor on the other side of me had to throw away boxes of her things because the manager made her get rid of her things that she had in boxes. She has brain cancer and it was not easy for her taking grocery carts full of boxes and putting them in the dumpster (which is high to put stuff in).

Time to stage a senior citizen protest....................
 
I finally managed to get my Santa and Mrs. Santa up outside my door. I will take a picture tomorrow. It took me awhile but I figured it out.

Every evening after I make my coffee for tomorrow (not turned out, just ready) when Rabbit hears me come out of the kitchen he comes out of his cage like a bullet. He lays around in the hay in his cage for a few hours in the afternoon right after i have cleaned it. Sleeping, eating, doing his business......... While I watch television in the evening I give him some blueberries or blackberries, depends on what is at the store. Blueberries right now.

When we lived at my house I used to pick them fresh for him and they were so good. Now not so good but he likes them anyway. He is not hard to please.

Have a nice night to whoever sees this tonight.
 


Back
Top