Single Seniors - Are You Happier Being Single than Married?

OneEyedDiva

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 4, 2016
Location
Nrw Jersey
Viewing this I almost had a change of heart.

This isn't about race as some will make a point out of, I saw what I thought was a lovely couple nothing more nothing less and all some can do is see race. I took the video down, but, I'm putting it back in here. I figure why should I let others feel like they won by stirring the pot of bringing up race. If race is what you think most of when you view the video, you have issues, not the couple.


And btw, WM/BW marriages, statistically, have the lowest divource rates. Just saying since it was brought up.
They are cute and they look happy which is so nice to see. I don't know why anyone would take issue with the video. I don't have time to watch it all now but I bookmarked it in my YouTube folder. I notice there's one of their wedding which I will watch as well. I just love seeing happy couples. My cousin married a white man and their story is SO cute! Her wedding was one of the happiest events I've attended. Maybe I'll post about when I have more time. Thank you for re-posting.
 

OneEyedDiva

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 4, 2016
Location
Nrw Jersey
Ironic. Here I am today a new widower, My wonderful wife passed away 1/30/19. I'll do as I am now........trying to make it alone and having a very hard time without her......RIP sweetheart
I'm so sorry to read of your loss AZ Jim! I lost my husband almost a month before you lost your wife. May they Rest in Paradise. I think sometimes loss is harder on men. I hope you can find solace in wonderful memories of your wife.
 

OneEyedDiva

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 4, 2016
Location
Nrw Jersey
I like your honesty. We can share a lot of good times with friends, And no legal papers with friendships.
Thank you Jaminhealth. I'm always going to keep it real. And sometimes it helps others who may be feeling they are strange or wrong for having similar feelings.
 

Seeker

Redneck Hillbilly
Joined
Dec 11, 2016
Location
Alabama
I can't answer this I've been married since I was 18..........hoping I don't have to find out.
 

win231

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2019
Location
CA
I'm not thinking of marrying again. I've been divorced for 35 years & I've gotten used to it. My marriage was very stressful & a big mistake for me. Her first husband died when he was 30 & after spending four years with her (2 living together & 2 married), I can see why.
 

ronk

New member
Joined
May 13, 2016
I was a late bloomer. I married my high school sweetie when I was 49. (We had reconnected over the Internet.) After 5 years, we had to admit the marriage was a bad idea. We parted in a friendly manner. But I had grown to realize how much harder my life is now that I am living alone once again. I'm experiencing increasing challenges due to my age, physical, mental and emotional limitations. I will not run into a new relationship or marriage, due to loneliness. I just do my best to cope.
 

jaminhealth

Banned
Joined
Jan 19, 2018
Location
Santa Monica CA
I was a late bloomer. I married my high school sweetie when I was 49. (We had reconnected over the Internet.) After 5 years, we had to admit the marriage was a bad idea. We parted in a friendly manner. But I had grown to realize how much harder my life is now that I am living alone once again. I'm experiencing increasing challenges due to my age, physical, mental and emotional limitations. I will not run into a new relationship or marriage, due to loneliness. I just do my best to cope.
I know it's not a consolation, but you are NOT alone. Many of us do well on our own. Just gotta toughen up and hang in and keep the body going. Join some groups or something...get out and help some others...I need some sheets washed, want to help?

And try to find laughter in stuff that could be frustration. Keep friends.
 

ronk

New member
Joined
May 13, 2016
Thanks, jaminhealth. I've been driving myself nuts these days. Sometimes I can't tell if I feel warm or cold. Some days I change my clothes several times a day. I turn off the heat, open the windows. Then I close the windows and turn on the heat. I try to do most of my grocery shopping online. I order Hormel Compleats, which offer a meal in one package. No refrigeration is required. Just stick it in the microwave for a minute. If I go grocery shopping in person, my body heats up quickly, and I sweat profusely. I have anxiety attacks just trying to bag to groceries. I hate being old and alone.
 

jaminhealth

Banned
Joined
Jan 19, 2018
Location
Santa Monica CA
Thanks, jaminhealth. I've been driving myself nuts these days. Sometimes I can't tell if I feel warm or cold. Some days I change my clothes several times a day. I turn off the heat, open the windows. Then I close the windows and turn on the heat. I try to do most of my grocery shopping online. I order Hormel Compleats, which offer a meal in one package. No refrigeration is required. Just stick it in the microwave for a minute. If I go grocery shopping in person, my body heats up quickly, and I sweat profusely. I have anxiety attacks just trying to bag to groceries. I hate being old and alone.
Sorry you are going thru the last part of life this way. WIsh I had words and I mentioned things above but sounds like you've kinda given up. Also sounds like you are living in a colder area of the country.

On another group I was just going thru some the not greatness of the 4 seasons so many say they love...I was born in dark, dank, humid PA and the nicest time of the year was springtime....came to CA over 50 yrs ago being forced by my ex, best thing I could have been forced to do. A person from OH was talking about how sick, depressed etc etc etc she is and she has a husband....

SUN makes a huge difference in our lives.

On your marriage to your old sweetheart and that it didn't last, maybe it's true, we can't go back. Over my years of singlehood with one not so great marriage under my belt, I've tried to find some old loves but never could...probably wasn't supposed to...again, can't go back.
 

ronk

New member
Joined
May 13, 2016
I was born in Vermont, and lived most of my life in "the North." That includes Ohio, Minnesota, New Hampshire and Maine. i lived in Florida for a few years. I made a mess of my life in Florida. Our family originally moved from New Hampshire to Minnesota in the 1970s. I followed soon after. I followed my parents to Florida for awhile. Then I deviated, and moved to Maine to get married. They resettled to Minnesota, and here I am again.

My ex-wife and I most likely knew our marriage was a bad idea from the start. Then we decided to end the marriage on a friendly basis. I am happy about that because she deserves to be happy.
 

PVC

Active member
Joined
Apr 17, 2017
Location
Southern AZ
It's kind of strange being alone now and realizing I have no one other than myself to explain to or to be responsible to.
I've been divorced 52 years and find THAT very liberating. I do whatever I want without having to debate or compromise all my choices.
 

Nozzle36

New member
Joined
May 5, 2017
Location
West Caost
Most definitely happier being single rather than married. I always have money to do things I want My ex- spouse hasn't put us deep in debt. I've paid off everything and since I've been single, I've been able to save money. I don't have to clean up after him, cook for him or wash his clothes. I worked as many hours as he, but I still was expected to do all the domestic chores . He was borderline OCD - as long as someone else did the work. I've been happier than I ever remember being in my whole life!
 

Mollypops

Banned
Joined
Apr 3, 2019
Location
United States/MD
I have been divorced for 25 years now and in my late 30's I could see my marriage quickly falling apart so by the age of 40 the divorce was a Godsend. There are times I do miss a man around the house, but during that time I have had my share of dates and even relationships and enjoyable sex and I still do go out on dates although not for a few years. So I certainly have enjoyed being single because I mingled all through it. :)
 

jaminhealth

Banned
Joined
Jan 19, 2018
Location
Santa Monica CA
I miss the companionship and the sex.
And all the cwap and B.S. that goes with it all. Molly has the same thoughts I've done and had as I approach 81 and a date is the thing I want to eat as a nice sweet.

Hitachi has makes a great Magic Wand and I went thru 2 even with bf's....

They are good for massaging many parts of the body.
 

Bridget Truesdale

New member
Joined
May 6, 2019
I was divorced at 41, no children, and am rapidly approaching my 55th birthday. I would not change a thing. I have occasional moments of feeling lonesome, most pointed at the holidays. But overall, NO desire to change my situation. I have wonderful family, good friends, amazing little dogs who share my life, and quite honestly, enjoy my own company. The biggest 'obstacle' to happiness in solo living is overcoming the expectation that you 'should' have someone. Once I decided that was a requirement I didn't want to care about, life has been so much more of what I need: Simple. Peaceful. Easy. I DO worry about the what ifs should the day come that I need help. I am still working, and putting money away with an eye to providing for that, be it Visiting Angels, or a facility. I would much rather work toward that, than work toward finding 'The One', so that I'm not alone, when after this many years in a relationship largely with myself, I've decided it's working, I'm the one, and we'll go from there :)
 

Kenko

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2019
Location
USA, Honolulu specifically!
Being unmarried doesn't mean you have to be alone.
You are so correct John! We all need some alone time in our lives, so when I get lonely, I go grocery shopping ... After that... I don't want anybody around me!
Crying babies, yelling mothers, rude cashiers... I enjoy living alone with my cat.. He follows me everywhere I go in our home... Great Kitty he is!
I am on the computer chatting with people all over the world...I don't really get lonely!... I love my single life!
 

Nozzle36

New member
Joined
May 5, 2017
Location
West Caost
If I had known at 20 what I know now, I would never have married. I've been married and divorced 3 times - which makes me a three time loser, I guess. First time 1 1/2 years, then 19 years and the last time 6 years. All big mistakes. Due to a thoroughly dysfunctional childhood, I was primed to make very poor choices. I stayed with the second one as long as I did because I had no way of making greater than minimum wages and I had 4 children - ages 9 to 13, so I went back to school and graduated with a BSN. He manipulated me into staying 5 more years. He was always demanding a divorce when he was annoyed because I wouldn't do something he wanted me to do; he demanded a divorce one time too many.
My youngest daughter and her son has lived with me since her divorce - the son moved out for a couple of years and moved back with his son when he and his GF split 3+ years ago.
I've now been single for over 30 years now and have no desire to ever wed again. However, I am certainly not alone with 3 other people living here - in fact, I could use quite a bit more of alone time at this point. My daughter fell and sustained a very serious injury last spring and has been home almost 24 hours a day. (She hopes to be able to go back to work this fall). Her son works part time and goes to school part time. Someone is here almost all the time. I've always been a bit of a loner who very much enjoys her alone time and it's been pretty scarce around here lately. LOL
As for myself, I take classes at the local Junior college (TaiChi and art) and take music lessons on both banjo and violin - to keep myself out of trouble. I was very, very fortunate to work for an employer who provided their employees with very good pensions and I got in in time to miss the later cut backs so I can live fairly well and help out my kids and for the first time in my life save money. Everything is paid for which never would have happened if I had stayed married to any of my husbands. We always lived on the financial edge of disaster. It took me a number of years to pull myself out of it.
 

debbie in seattle

Well-known member
Joined
May 27, 2015
Location
Seattle
Ahh, interesting posts. Husband passed 14 months ago. Have adjusted to being alone very well, so I think. Was still lonely, sex, companionship, etc. Prior to my husband passing, had an electrician over to fix something, after husband passed, had him come back over to do something else. At that time, he gave me his phone number and said if I wanted to get together for coffee and chat, call him, his wife had passed a year prior. Took me almost a year and I called. Our relationship couldn’t be better. Have zero intention on moving in together, life is good the way it is. I don’t ask him to do anything for me, though I know he’d be there. I feel so comfortable with him and talk about anything, as he does with me. We do talk about our deceased spouses which I like, but not a lot, just stories or comments here and there. He lives about 5 miles from me which is perfect. Perfect situation for me, alone a lot and together quite frequently. Life is good so far.
 

debodun

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 6, 2014
I've never been married, so have nothing to compare. But after seeing what marriage has done to people, I am happy I managed to avoid it.
 

Kathy5853

Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Location
Ozark, AL
Really enjoying this thread! I am new to the forum and catching up.

I must say I totally agree with Bridgett- I think I am the “one” for me, too.
 


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