Single Seniors - Are You Happier Being Single than Married?

I am 69, he is 34. I know it very unusualand didn't plan it this way, I am a very successful and classy woman.Now that I have been in this relationship. I have changed my thoughts because it's been very positive and now would likely get involved with another younger man if we ever broke up.

Ohhhh, I'd have a huge issue with commonalities with that much of a gap in ages/experiences, but your life...just did the math, he's 35 yrs your junior.
 

My story is not very typical. I was married when I was 49. We knew, almost from the start, that the marriage was a bad idea. We finally ended the marriage, in a friendly manner, after 5 years. I remember feeling incredibly lonely, even in the first few months of the marriage. Our divorce was a great relief for both of us.

In the years since our divorce, I've found it harder to cope with the demands of everyday life. But I'll never allow myself to make the same mistake again.
 
My story is not very typical. I was married when I was 49. We knew, almost from the start, that the marriage was a bad idea. We finally ended the marriage, in a friendly manner, after 5 years. I remember feeling incredibly lonely, even in the first few months of the marriage. Our divorce was a great relief for both of us.

In the years since our divorce, I've found it harder to cope with the demands of everyday life. But I'll never allow myself to make the same mistake again.

There is so much out there one can do without signing a legal contract.
 

One never knows until they try it. It's usually a crap shoot.

It also depends on your stage in life. When I was young I couldn't imagine being without a man in my life, now I am happy I don't have to be a nurse and maid to one or have to compromise on every wish of mine. Even if you're TRULY happy in the marriage, you still have to do a lot of compromising. Now I live alone and am the Queen of my castle, what I say or want goes. I can sleep all day or not cook or not do anything and there's no one there to complain about it.
 
It also depends on your stage in life. When I was young I couldn't imagine being without a man in my life, now I am happy I don't have to be a nurse and maid to one or have to compromise on every wish of mine. Even if you're TRULY happy in the marriage, you still have to do a lot of compromising. Now I live alone and am the Queen of my castle, what I say or want goes. I can sleep all day or not cook or not do anything and there's no one there to complain about it.

Boy oh boy sounds so much like me from needs in young life to probably the last 20 yrs for me, and I'm 80.
 
About 10 years ago, I started dating a man who about 3 months into the relationship started hinting about marriage. I wasn't interested in considering it that early and after a couple of months I realized that he wasn't the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Then he divulged that he had been diagnosed with multiple myeloma three years before and given 4-5 years to live. I asked him exactly when he had been planning to share this info with me? His answer was that he didn't want that to interfere with the relationship while it was "developing".

Had my husband survived his heart attack and been an invalid the rest of his life, I would have cared for him willingly because I stood up 37 years before in front of my family, friends and God and promised "in sickness and in health". BUT, to knowingly take on a relationship/marriage knowing someone was going to die within a couple of years? No. Absolutely not. I know there's no guarantee in life, but this would have been a certain thing....death and taxes....

I'm neither embarrassed nor proud to say that when I met my present boyfriend (9 1/2 years and running well.....), one of the first things I determined was that he was in good health. As I said earlier, there are no guarantees in life but to take on a relationship that had a guaranteed sad end to it was beyond my ken.
 
Even if you're TRULY happy in the marriage, you still have to do a lot of compromising. Now I live alone and am the Queen of my castle, what I say or want goes. I can sleep all day or not cook or not do anything and there's no one there to complain about it.

I disagree; every marriage is as different as the two people who signed on. My husband is so easy going that he never complains about anything; I'm welcome to "sleep all day or not cook or do anything" and there's absolutely no one complaining about it. When two people are a good match, there's not a lot of compromising to do. He's my best friend and I don't know what I would do without him.
 
To say it ended in tatters would be an understatement. Her boyfriend went through the bedroom window;later,his three brothers turned up armed with two knives and a hammer and kicked the front door in. When the police arrived there were three armed intruders,lying unconscious in my hall...but it was ME that got arrested,just because when the police came hurtling in being all Johnny Big-Boy,I was sat at my kitchen table doing a jigsaw! Apparently,that isn't 'the correct response' to dealing with armed intruders at just after midnight. I knew my then neighbour had called them due to all the noise,so what's the problem? Happy to be rid of her. NO wish to go there again.
 
Nothing like a bit of complexity in life to help maintain stress..:). My (now) wife and I were together for 35 years, and all that time, she didn't want to get married. I just enjoyed having her around so much, whatever makes her happy, married or not, I didn't care. Career-wise, she made so much less money than I did that the arrangement was beneficial for both of us to live together. Fortunately, we lived in a common-law state, and eventually became 'married' in the eyes of the governments. We eventually ended up having to move to a new state that was not common-law, and once here, she had a miserable time trying to get bank accounts, drivers license, anything legal in her taken name (she had taken my last name, legally in the prior state, but it wasn't allowed here, so she was lost financially). The hassles got worse and worse. As we moved toward retirement, I realized that if I croak, the benefits to her for being 'legally' married (from a financial standpoint...SS Survivors benefits, spousal benefits, etc.) largely outweighed living as we were. We married legally here, had a 'huge,ha ha' 1/2 hour wedding in the clerks office, but I now sleep much better knowing that she will be well taken care of (financially) if I die. The rest of the relationship hasn't changed.
 
Absolutely LOVE being married to my wife. Before meeting my wife, I was divorced/single for 21 years and only liked being single for the first 6 months. It took me 20 1/2 years to find my wife. Without a doubt, we are BOTH the "marriage-minded" type people and that was one thing that really drew us together. But, if something was ever to happen, I'd never get married again. Would never/ever find a lady like my wife again.
 
To say it ended in tatters would be an understatement. Her boyfriend went through the bedroom window;later,his three brothers turned up armed with two knives and a hammer and kicked the front door in. When the police arrived there were three armed intruders,lying unconscious in my hall...but it was ME that got arrested,just because when the police came hurtling in being all Johnny Big-Boy,I was sat at my kitchen table doing a jigsaw! Apparently,that isn't 'the correct response' to dealing with armed intruders at just after midnight. I knew my then neighbour had called them due to all the noise,so what's the problem? Happy to be rid of her. NO wish to go there again.
What experience do you have in the martial arts? Are you a former offensive lineman from the NFL? 6'5", 275 lbs? Were you a Marine with combat duty experience? Do you just have a great imagination, prone to telling tall tales?
 
Ironic. Here I am today a new widower, My wonderful wife passed away 1/30/19. I'll do as I am now........trying to make it alone and having a very hard time without her......RIP sweetheart

Hi, Jim. I'm glad to see you around these parts; I've been wondering how you are. So sorry for your loss.
 
What experience do you have in the martial arts? Are you a former offensive lineman from the NFL? 6'5", 275 lbs? Were you a Marine with combat duty experience? Do you just have a great imagination, prone to telling tall tales?

Hmm, ........ there is another Lord Elpus who posts fantastic tales on other forums. My research leads me to conclude that my latter supposition, as above, is on the money. Thanks for the entertainment, here.
 
I was very happy being single. Separated in 2004, divorced in 2006, dated a bit but never entertained the idea of being married again. I had NO interest, as I was so happy with my full, busy and enjoyable life just the way it was.

I met Ron, my fiancé, while I was zip lining with friends. From then till now we've never spent a w/e apart, and we're planning to be married probably Fall 2020. After we got serious, we both had the "been there done that don't intend to ever go there again" conversation about marriage, so it shocked the hell out of the BOTH of us when he proposed! :lol:

Should something happen to him, I would revert to once again being happy with my full, busy and enjoyable life because I haven't given up anything to be with him, he either enjoys things right along with me or is off doing his own thing, and vice versa. We both love it that way!
 
What experience do you have in the martial arts? Are you a former offensive lineman from the NFL? 6'5", 275 lbs? Were you a Marine with combat duty experience? Do you just have a great imagination, prone to telling tall tales?


Me? Oh,I'm just an inoffensive,sweet,friendly chap who just happens to be a bit 'handy' when required,treeguy.
Yes,I served with 45 Royal Marines Commando-and yes,I've studied martial arts since I was 11 years old.

...but finding my employee bonking my wife,plus all the sh1t that went with that incident,is all on police record.
...it also made the papers,as did the resultant court case-so pal,get busy researching. I don't do lies-I leave that stuff to cowards & Walter Mittys.
 
I am recently widowed...he passed 3 months ago today. While my husband was the love of my life and a good, kind man, he was also one of the most frustrating people I ever dealt with. Couple that with the fact that I need (actually need) my alone time, I have to admit that I'm happier being alone. I miss my husband at times and miss that we can no longer do things together but at other times I'm grateful for the freedom I now have.
 
I am recently widowed...he passed 3 months ago today. While my husband was the love of my life and a good, kind man, he was also one of the most frustrating people I ever dealt with. Couple that with the fact that I need (actually need) my alone time, I have to admit that I'm happier being alone. I miss my husband at times and miss that we can no longer do things together but at other times I'm grateful for the freedom I now have.

I like your honesty. We can share a lot of good times with friends, And no legal papers with friendships.
 

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