Single Seniors - Are You Happier Being Single than Married?

Thanks, April, please excuse the rant everyone.

No harm intended Jim, from what my son tells me, it's about the splash residue factor from the middle of the bowl.
 

I doubt that I'd marry again. I've gotten used to being alone, not that I like it, just used to it. Maybe if somebody came along who positively melted my bones, had his own income, his own car to drive and his own place to live, then I'd consider having him as a Gentleman Caller. Marriage? Probably not. For one thing, the heartbreak that accompanies widowhood was almost too much to bear the first time around. Widowhood again in my eld? I don't think I'm made of strong enough stuff to deal with it a second time. For another, my husband was loving, thoughtful, considerate, kind, helpful, fun and funny, and smarter than I am. Wouldn't be too hard to find somebody smarter than I am, but all the rest of it? Naaaa.
 

GeorgiaXplant said:
I doubt that I'd marry again. I've gotten used to being alone, not that I like it, just used to it. Maybe if somebody came along who positively melted my bones, had his own income, his own car to drive and his own place to live, then I'd consider having him as a Gentleman Caller. Marriage? Probably not. For one thing, the heartbreak that accompanies widowhood was almost too much to bear the first time around. Widowhood again in my eld? I don't think I'm made of strong enough stuff to deal with it a second time. For another, my husband was loving, thoughtful, considerate, kind, helpful, fun and funny, and smarter than I am. Wouldn't be too hard to find somebody smarter than I am, but all the rest of it? Naaaa.
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So you're saying Tucker, the perfectly good cat can stay, but not Bob, the perfectly good man?
 
I've never been happier than since I have been living alone.

I don't really live alone - I have a dog, and I have friends who drop in from time to time.

However, I would never again live in a house with another human.

As I've grown older, I appreciate that I am the most important person in my life.
 
Tucker can stay, no question about it:) A Gentleman Caller, on the other hand, would have his own place to live.

Anyway, I got off track. The question was are we singletons happier single than married, and my answer to that is a resounding no! but that doesn't mean I'd marry again. The whole getting-to-know-you part is daunting, to say the least. Getting to know someone takes time, and I've got too much gardening to do to make that much time. Wouldn't marry someone I didn't know well.

ETA: Come to think of it, there's that old saw "it's easy to love a stranger" and wouldn't it be awful to be so enamored of someone new that you'd marry without really knowing them? As time passed and you did get to know them only to learn that you didn't even like them? Ack!
 
Having never been married or lived with a man, I can only imagine how hard it must be for some people who were married for many years to be on their own. I know it is the house I grew up in that keeps me single and I'm capable of sabotaging relationships.

I'm not lonely but I do feel isolated. I'm grateful not to have to put up with any B.S. in my own home. Sometimes though if I've had a bad day or someone was less than nice to me or any other issue, I have no one to talk with about it. But being single still wins.
 
Debby said:
Sounds like based on past experience then, you've done pretty good. Happy, content......interchangeable maybe?
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[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif][FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]No, [FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]not really. [/FONT]IMO, contentment is mor[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]e of an acceptance of how things are[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif].[/FONT] [FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]While h[/FONT]appiness is a feeling, the state of pleasure.[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif][FONT=Garamond,sans-serif] Debby, you [FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]ma[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]de me do some soul searching....and I[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif] still am unable to an[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]swer your question.:)[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Garamond,sans-serif][FONT=Garamond,sans-serif][FONT=Garamond,sans-serif] Though I tend to be a happy person, derive grea[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]t joy[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif] from many things...[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif][FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]n[/FONT]on[FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]e[/FONT] [/FONT][FONT=Garamond,sans-serif][FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]has[/FONT] [/FONT][FONT=Garamond,sans-serif]anything[/FONT] to do with being married or unmarried.[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]
 
After reading this thread, I think Georgia has a pretty good handle on the 'single senior' situation, I feel the same....although I do get lonely at times, I've got used to my life and do my best to adjust.....like yesterday....I was mowing and the tire came off the rim of the wheel, I spent 2 hours wondering how I was going to get it fixed, after a while I went back out there, found a jack, jacked the mower up, took the tire off, took it to the tire shop and had it repaired, brought it home and put it back on.......of course this took me all afternoon..lol
 
I married my high school sweetheart. We had a stormy marriage for 15 years, until he left and took up with an employee. Our two children had a rough time navigating between us as the rancor lasted for many years. Now we can talk civilly, but rarely do so. I was so traumatized by the marriage and the divorce and its aftermath that I swore I would never marry again, and I've kept that promise. I had a brief relationship for a couple of years, but have been basically alone for the last 15 years. I enjoy solitude, but miss going out for social events with a partner.
 
Jackie22 said:
.....like yesterday....I was mowing and the tire came off the rim of the wheel, I spent 2 hours wondering how I was going to get it fixed, after a while I went back out there, found a jack, jacked the mower up, took the tire off, took it to the tire shop and had it repaired, brought it home and put it back on.......of course this took me all afternoon..lol
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Good for you, Jackie. Makes you feel powerful, doesn't it?
 
I just read this thread, and I am finding it informative, as I have only been a widow for a little over three months.

I am very lucky that between a pension, disability, and my husband's SS benefits, I am able to set back and enjoy the rest of my time on this eath. In my parents' time, that was not always an option.

I used to tease my husband about spending so much on life insurance and his pension. I'm not laughing now. Thank you Michael.
:praying::thankyou:
 
I have been married twice. First marriage ended in divorce after eight years, second marriage lasted 42 years until my wife died last April. I am very happy living alone.

My children and grandchildren all live within twenty miles and I have many friends. My social life is great and I've been dating,
although it seems most women I meet want a committed relationship.
 
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A very interesting thread, especially reading about our various ways of dealing with loss and loneliness.

When I was first married back in my youth, I hated being away from my wife and was not very good being on my own at all, in fact we were rarely apart.
After some 14 years of marriage I began to spend some times on my own and came to value my own company and the freedom it brings.
During the last 12 years or so I have been in a long distance relationship and get to experience both being single and in a couple relationship on an alternating basis.

When I am on my own in the UK I love my own company, and the freedom to do anything or nothing without thinking of a partners needs. The times I am with Lisa in as a couple I love as well, the waking up with someone having a coffee in bed, planning the day ahead and discussing one of a myriad of topics etc. We often walk to a nearby park and have a beer or go to a concert or visit friends, its all blissful

The only downside is when its time to part after several weeks together there is the emotional pain of loss that goes with partings, especially for the one left behind who goes back to an empty house. The compensation of course is the excitement and anticipation at the next meeting in the airport, which we both love. In between times we skype regularly and exchange emails daily, but its not the same as physical presence of course.

I must say I do prefer this way of life, as does Lisa, though I know it wouldn't suit everyone, but I feel my relationship with Lisa somehow seems to deepen with time, and we never take each other for granted.
 
For me, the hardest thing about adjusting to a relationship after 37 years of marriage and 3 years of widowhood was realizing that my new guy and I wouldn't have the "memories" I had so enjoyed with my late husband. We're making our own memories after five and a half years together, but it's just not the same. I'm happier with him than I would be alone.....I think I'm just not meant to be a loner. I did enjoy certain aspects of my three years on my own but not enough to want to make it a permanent state. As I get older, it's very comforting to know that someone "has my back".
 
I have been married and divorced twice. The first marriage I had 2 children and stayed too long- he was abusive. The second marriage was wonderful. He developed a head injury and had a major personality change, irritable an moody. when my sons returned from the military, he did not want them around ( he had no children. That was the breaking point, as I had a son that was a disabled soldier. Sadly, he competed suicide 3 years ago.

I do nto have a man in my life, and enjoy being single, at this point in my life. I am busy with building a business and staying active.
 
Sorry to hear of your sad experiences, caregiver, I can see how you'd be satisfied with your life now. I know lots of single women who aren't looking for a man, nor are they particularly missing the physical aspect of it and are happy and independent.
 
After 20 yrs. of marriage, I told myself: Never again!!!
And I haven't!
Can now be as selfish and self-indulgent as I want to be (but without hurting others). :yes:
 
It was my original intention to marry and have a family. I did, but my marriage was short lived. He passed away after only 15 months of marriage. I never had the chance to remarry and now that I am looking after my mother, doubt seriously that I would want a man in my life unless it was just to meet at a restaurant or venue and then return to own place alone.
 
I've discovered that I'm far too self-involved to be in a successful marriage, so rather than inflict myself upon anyone I've discovered that I'm indeed happier being a solo act.
 
I was happy being married but he died. I'm happy being single and don't think I would marry again. In fact I'm sure of it.
 
Answer to this question has got to be yes, in every case, because if one was happier being married, everyone would most likely still be married, or in a relationship.
 


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