Single Seniors - Are You Happier Being Single than Married?

I'll never understand people like celebrities that marry 4 and 5 times. What words are in their marriage vows? "For better for worse for richer for poorer til death us do part" "For a while until something different rolls around."??
 
SeaBreeze said:
Are there any single seniors here that are happier than when they were married? Are you content to live alone and stay that way for the rest of your life? Those who never married, do you think that marrying someone would make you happier?

I've been married for a long time now, almost thirty nine years, and we lived together before that. I'm happy in my marriage, but if anything happened to my husband, I think I would rather be single and on my own. I doubt I'd have the desire for another serious relationship at all with another man.
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My wife and I were happily married for 54 years until she passed away. I would never consider another relationship (I am still wearing my wedding ring 4 years later) but am starting to feel alone. Since I am a bit of a hermit (blame my shyness) I prefer the company of my peers in a forum like this one.
 

Old Salt said:
My wife and I were happily married for 54 years until she passed away. I would never consider another relationship (I am still wearing my wedding ring 4 years later) but am starting to feel alone. Since I am a bit of a hermit (blame my shyness) I prefer the company of my peers in a forum like this one.
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My husband and I were happily married for 46 years until he passed away 3 years ago. I have not thought about getting into another relationship since his passing, but I still go out with my long time girlfriends and there have been many times where a gentlemen has chatted with me throughout the evening, asked me to dance, and even bought me drinks. Things have never gone any further. I am upfront with all of them in those situations and some still continue to do those things.
 
Liberty said:
fanci...remember Murder She Wrote...the companionship between widow Jessica Fletcher and home town doctor Seth Hasslot? Cool!
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Just saw this. Long time ''Murder She Wrote'' fan here.

I always envied Jessica for her relationship with Seth, it's one relationship I have always wanted and never found. I was kind of hoping they would eventually marry but never happened. Their relationship was basically sister/brother, though. Jessica was/is my role model. I loved her hairsyle, the clothes she wore, and I would have loved to have had her personality.

I was shocked to find out that even though Cabot Cove was supposedly in Maine, the outdoor shots were actually filmed in Mendocino, CA
{{Exterior shots of Cabot Cove were filmed in Mendocino, California. The fictional "Cabot Cove" name for the series' coastal town was derived from the name of an actual bay harbor inlet in Kennebunkport, Maine, located near the town's center, on the road where motels and lobster shack dives are located. }}
 
PVC said:
Just saw this. Long time ''Murder She Wrote'' fan here.

I always envied Jessica for her relationship with Seth, it's one relationship I have always wanted and never found. I was kind of hoping they would eventually marry but never happened. Their relationship was basically sister/brother, though. Jessica was/is my role model. I loved her hairsyle, the clothes she wore, and I would have loved to have had her personality.

I was shocked to find out that even though Cabot Cove was supposedly in Maine, the outdoor shots were actually filmed in Mendocino, CA
{{Exterior shots of Cabot Cove were filmed in Mendocino, California. The fictional "Cabot Cove" name for the series' coastal town was derived from the name of an actual bay harbor inlet in Kennebunkport, Maine, located near the town's center, on the road where motels and lobster shack dives are located. }}
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That is shocking news to me! :) I lived most of my life on the Atlantic Coast in Nova Scotia and the scenery in Cabot Cove, Maine looked quite authentic. Kudos to the producers. I just got finished binge watching "Murder She Wrote" from Season 1, Episode 1 until the end. My wife and I loved that show, so it was a bitter-sweet experience to revisit Jessica and Seth without her. At first I had to get used to Jessica, since she stuck in my mind as a treacherous traitor in "The Three Musketeers!" (Lady deWinter) but I ended up loving her. :)

But to get back to relationships. Does anyone who has lost their mate and lives by herself/himself find it hard to eat alone, or to watch TV alone. I am starting to adjust but it isn't easy! I am fine with books. I think I read about 1100 Kindle ebooks since 2015. Strangely enough, and I am leaving myself wide open here, I have taken a liking to romances. Am I mellowing? Has my testosterone left for good? Real men don't read romances!!!
 
Silverfox said:
My husband and I were happily married for 46 years until he passed away 3 years ago. I have not thought about getting into another relationship since his passing, but I still go out with my long time girlfriends and there have been many times where a gentlemen has chatted with me throughout the evening, asked me to dance, and even bought me drinks. Things have never gone any further. I am upfront with all of them in those situations and some still continue to do those things.
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You're still a youngster, Silverfox. I see good things in your near future! :) I am pretty much done with relationships and live vicariously through books and TV, and now through this Forum. I fully realize that there are many in their eighties who are still very much active and full of life. So, those of you about to become octogenarians don't despair. It's just me!
 
Old Salt said:
You're still a youngster, Silverfox. I see good things in your near future! :) I am pretty much done with relationships and live vicariously through books and TV, and now through this Forum. I fully realize that there are many in their eighties who are still very much active and full of life. So, those of you about to become octogenarians don't despair. It's just me!
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Why thank you. I do feel young at heart but I still don’t know if I am ready for a relationship.
 
Well, you can state the post from #5-24 have gone into the toilet. Not all, of course, but enough for you to check your bathroom floor.
 
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Overall, a female is a great assets; I hope they view males the same way.
I don't think we were meant to live alone, but some of those were bent that way.
I am far to old to seek a female; my wife died 4-5 years ago. I have nothing to offer a female, but I'm not able
to function alone. Who would want to live with a gimp?
 
PVC said:
Just saw this. Long time ''Murder She Wrote'' fan here.

I always envied Jessica for her relationship with Seth, it's one relationship I have always wanted and never found. I was kind of hoping they would eventually marry but never happened. Their relationship was basically sister/brother, though. Jessica was/is my role model. I loved her hairsyle, the clothes she wore, and I would have loved to have had her personality.

I was shocked to find out that even though Cabot Cove was supposedly in Maine, the outdoor shots were actually filmed in Mendocino, CA
{{Exterior shots of Cabot Cove were filmed in Mendocino, California. The fictional "Cabot Cove" name for the series' coastal town was derived from the name of an actual bay harbor inlet in Kennebunkport, Maine, located near the town's center, on the road where motels and lobster shack dives are located. }}
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Oh yes, my mom loved Angela Lansbury and her 8 decade career! Didn't know about the filming in Mendocino...thanks for sharing that. My mother also loved Jessica's hairstyle, clothing choices and her overall personality on the show. Here's the famous song she sang when she was 20, in The Picture of Dorian Gray:

http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/249061/Picture-of-Dorian-Gray-The-Movie-Clip-Sibyl-Vane.html
 
More about Angela Lansbury:

This is very sad, I feel bad for her. But, she did win the most Tonys and won other awards:
Nominated 12 times for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series on Murder, She Wrote (1984), plus four more before, during and after the series, but has never won. As of 2018, Lansbury holds the record for the most Emmy nominations without a single win among performers with 18 unsuccessful nominations.

And now I know why she didn't have an affair with Seth;
Lansbury was defensive about Jessica Fletcher, having creative input over the character's costumes, makeup and hair, and rejecting pressure from network executives to put her in a relationship, believing that the character should remain a strong single female.[132] When she believed that a scriptwriter had made Jessica do or say things that did not fit with the character's personality, Lansbury ensured that the script was changed.[133] She saw Jessica as a role model for older female viewers, praising her "enormous, universal appeal – that was an accomplishment I never expected in my entire life."[134] Lansbury biographers Rob Edelman and Audrey E. Kupferberg described the series as "a television landmark" in the U.S. for having an older female character as the protagonist, thereby paving the way for later series like The Golden Girls.[135] Lansbury herself noted that "I think it's the first time a show has really been aimed at the middle aged audience,"[136] and although it was most popular among senior citizens, it gradually gained a younger audience.
 
Glinda said:
Yes, I am much happier single. I've been in a long term relationship for several years with a wonderful man. We spend weekends together and travel together but don't live together. I have no urge or ambition to marry him. I like everything just fine the way it is.
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ah, that would be my dream situation. I have no desire to live with anyone or get married, but I do long for a romantic relationship. Finding a guy who wants what I want seems almost impossible though.
 
Marlene said:
ah, that would be my dream situation. I have no desire to live with anyone or get married, but I do long for a romantic relationship. Finding a guy who wants what I want seems almost impossible though.
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Not impossible. I had a friend that saw her boyfriend on Fridays, and then went home for the week. Over 30 years!
 
I know someone who has a decades old relationship with a man. She's older than me, probably around 80 now. They have always had their own houses, but go halves on groceries on the weekend when she will cook a special dinner .. usually a lamb roast. I'm not sure if they ever stay overnight at one another's place (didn't ask). This arrangement seems to work for them.
 
I was married for 5 years of my life at the age of 20 and it was horrible as he was abusive. At 25 I got a divorce and it was the best thing I could have done. The only good thing that came out of the marriage was my daughter. I have been single ever since even though I have been out with several men over the years, but never went the aisle again. I enjoy being single and occasionally mingling.
 
Old Salt said:
That is shocking news to me! :) I lived most of my life on the Atlantic Coast in Nova Scotia and the scenery in Cabot Cove, Maine looked quite authentic. Kudos to the producers. I just got finished binge watching "Murder She Wrote" from Season 1, Episode 1 until the end. My wife and I loved that show, so it was a bitter-sweet experience to revisit Jessica and Seth without her. At first I had to get used to Jessica, since she stuck in my mind as a treacherous traitor in "The Three Musketeers!" (Lady deWinter) but I ended up loving her. :)

But to get back to relationships. Does anyone who has lost their mate and lives by herself/himself find it hard to eat alone, or to watch TV alone. I am starting to adjust but it isn't easy! I am fine with books. I think I read about 1100 Kindle ebooks since 2015. Strangely enough, and I am leaving myself wide open here, I have taken a liking to romances. Am I mellowing? Has my testosterone left for good? Real men don't read romances!!!
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I feel as you do about eating aloneafter 51 years cooking and loving it for my Husband.

No, Old Salt, its not easy adjusting and adapting to living alone after a long marriage or partnership and Ive struggled on solo and faced my future and have had to man-up as we say here and get on with it and take everyday as it comes.

I have times when at home I can get comfort from sheer silence for hours and cant bear telly or radio on but I do love Music and play my discs and listen to Spotify as and when. I like my phone and coming on SF which for me is a good place to escape. I dont need or do social media except this forum. I dont need company indoors, am a private person but I like to go out and about and got great friends and close family and have aquired a good balance in the 5 years ive been a Widow.

My Hubby loved a good book and enjoyed thrillers and Clive Custler and Douglas Reeman and tales about UFO's and liked a romance story too and like me he liked paperbacks and we didnt do Kindle.
 
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Glinda said:
Yes, I am much happier single. I've been in a long term relationship for several years with a wonderful man. We spend weekends together and travel together but don't live together. I have no urge or ambition to marry him. I like everything just fine the way it is.
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Thats the way I would like it if anything happen to my hubby. I do foresee that in my future!!!!
 
Not sure if I would marry again however, God forbid my hubby pass before me, I will have a special friend in my life. Where we would spend time together and travel. Hubby is not a travel type of guy, therefore traveling is on my golden bucket list. I pray it become a reality.
 
Josiah said:
I always thought that married seniors could count on one another through thick and thin and that this was a major benefit of the married state. I see now that this hasn't always been the case for many of you and that's very disturbing. After many years together this person, your spouse, has given you a significant portion of his or her life, and for that a significant obligation is owed and it is ignoble not to honor this debt.
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Not sure if I fully agree. A lot of marriages were not happy ones regardless of the years together. Some women (and men) start really living after their spouse pass away. They find themselves traveling (depending on age) and start to have fun.. not all, but some. Also, I have been married for 35 years and I don't feel I owe my husband anything and he does not owe me anything. I can say I have not been a perfect wife, but I have been a good wife. Could share a bit more as to why I feel I don't owe him anything. Maybe I did not get a full understanding of your post. I love him and do not plan on leaving him... its because I honor my vows not because I feel I owe him a debt.
 
AprilT said:
I married once, been nearly married a couple of times since, I did break off an engagement two decades ago, I am happy with my status, my last relationship ended over two years ago, because, he wanted to take things to the next level and I didn't feel the same about him in that way, same with the one prior, not to say, I wouldn't be more with someone I felt a real deep connection, I just wasn't feeling a need to combine households with either men, nor marry.

To be honest, the only thing I miss is the sex, not the stay overs, I'm still friends with them both, one there never anything beyond kissing anyway,, I've known one for more than 10 years the other nearing 8. Can't say I miss the friendship since I'm still friendly with both, I could call either of them and have long chats any time, problem is my last guy, won't come over unless I agree we're going to be a couple again and why should I lead him to believe we can be anything more than just friends. I care for him and if he needed me for anything, I would be there for him, I just don't love him in that way that makes me long for him when he's not around. He and I are such opposites, but, for some reason, he always gives this speech about how much alike we are, we're nothing alike. I admit, I do miss him sometimes, if only he wouldn't push that love nonsense. Sigh.

Do I get lonely, sometimes, but not for a romantic relationship, maybe a hug here and there and mostly for my platonic friends and family, but, every time I've tried doing the romance thing, it just never seems to work anymore, I have little patience for the whole dance of it all.

And before anyone jumps all over this, I'm not afraid of commitment, I'm just sure of what I don't want and am not desperate to be in a relationship with someone, I know for sure I will regret being in it with. Plus I'm a grouch, I would have to be pleasant, and share the bathroom. ack!
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I love your post.. you know what you are and are not willing to tolerant. You already know, there will be regrets. No one knows you better than YOU!!!!
 
AprilT said:
Something weird happened the yesterday, a lady that I haven't a clue as to who the heck she is, sent a friend request to me on facebook, before I could decide if I want to accept that request, I messaged her to find out if we in some way actually knew each other. This was the conversation. I thought it was rather odd and thought, could I be so jaded that now when people do a search, for cynical, there's a picture of me with my name listed. :lofl:

For the record, I love seeing people happy together, married or not, I highly approve of marriage and all things love.

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Me.......You sent a friend request to me, I appreciate it, but, do I know you from somewhere?


From person who sent friend request.......No probably not. I think your name showed up when I searched perils pearl and or cynical case? ?

Me.......That's about the funniest thing, I've heard, I haven't any idea, who any of those people are, but, I could see why my name might get associated with them. Now I'm really curious and I've got some detective work to do to uncover this mystery. LOL
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I had a similar situation on FB. A guy (Foreigner) sent me a request.

Me: Who are you?

Guy: told me his name

Me: Why did you send me a friend request

Guy: For global connection

Me: Because.......

Guy.. did not respond

I listened to my gut and deleted the friend request.
 
I would give my all to have my Husband with me and not laid to rest in the cemetery 5 years on. I have no desire to form a close relationship with a man but do have a good friend/companion who I met about a year ago. He is a good man, decent and trustworthy whose wife died about 2 and a half years ago and is grieving forher as I am for my Husband. There is no romance and platonic and we feel comfy with oneanother..so suits us both. My family like him and pleased we are good friends.

So...In reply to the OT....I would give my all to still have my Hubby beside me like he was for 51 years and before that courting from teenagers and as he isnt I am okay being single and settled as I am.
 

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