Some reasons why women are now speaking out about men's bad behaviour.

Warrigal

Warrigal

SF VIP
Location
Sydney, Australia
This article looks at the television industry in Australia and makes some observations about the culture of yesteryear and why that kind of behaviour is being exposed in today's climate.

It was sparked by revelations about the apparently decent and genial host of a popular TV program, who by all accounts was a monster, a dirty old man and/or a sexual predator off air. Allegedly.

I haven't watched the series Mad Men but I would imagine that the real life scenarios in this article are reflected in that show. I am more interested in what has changed and this article deals with that too.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-...ave-the-power-to-expose-bad-behaviour/9200142
 

Men are treating women much more disrespectfully in recent months. I took my 85 year old mom shopping and a guy walking in front of her brushed by and let the door slam in her face. She was very upset and went on and on about it. She almost let it ruin her day. This happens to me a lot also, doors being slammed instead of held open and men cut me off in traffic even when I have the right of way then yell at ME or give me the finger. There's on busy rotary where I now have to drive with one hand on the wheel and the other and on the car horn blasting away to prevent guys from cutting me off. Funny but I've noticed younger men are much more courteous while it's the older men who behave so rudely. It's nothing to do with television or sexual harassment. It's just guy's behaving like bums instead of gentlemen.

It won't kill you to be polite. Remember when men used to stand when a woman entered the room? When they called her "Miss" or "Mam" and held doors open and held chairs and helped her put on her heavy winter coat? That kind of courtesy was before my time, but many of my female family members remember it with longing.
 
chic said:
Men are treating women much more disrespectfully in recent months. I took my 85 year old mom shopping and a guy walking in front of her brushed by and let the door slam in her face. She was very upset and went on and on about it. She almost let it ruin her day. This happens to me a lot also, doors being slammed instead of held open and men cut me off in traffic even when I have the right of way then yell at ME or give me the finger. There's on busy rotary where I now have to drive with one hand on the wheel and the other and on the car horn blasting away to prevent guys from cutting me off. Funny but I've noticed younger men are much more courteous while it's the older men who behave so rudely. It's nothing to do with television or sexual harassment. It's just guy's behaving like bums instead of gentlemen.

It won't kill you to be polite. Remember when men used to stand when a woman entered the room? When they called her "Miss" or "Mam" and held doors open and held chairs and helped her put on her heavy winter coat? That kind of courtesy was before my time, but many of my female family members remember it with longing.
Click to expand...

That was back before women demanded to be treated equally to men..."women's-lib".....careful what ya wish for.
 
I also think woman’s lib has a lot to answer for, although I agree with things like equal pay for doing the same work etc. I never wanted to be a man !

Unfortunately some feminists went over the top and it’s women who appreciate things like courtesy and consideration from men, who are are paying the price.....
 
I don't think it's right for a man to let a door slam in another man's face, either. Etiquette is merely consideration for another person.

That chivalry, the respect for the bearers of human progeny and the other kindnesses of a bygone era were well compensated for.

I agree with Chic; it's the old men who have largely become cranks; rude and uncaring, perhaps due to bitterness over their own lost virility, or perhaps not. Maybe they started out in life as sweet and sensitive guys and their misogyny developed as they aged and were rebuffed by some women.
 
7a1335c799a08584b03fc9651212072e.jpg
 
rgp said:
That was back before women demanded to be treated equally to men..."women's-lib".....careful what ya wish for.
Click to expand...
This is an interesting statement. I have read Germaine Greer and it is her position that the women's liberation movement of her time was not about women achieving equality with men but rather demanding freedom from the restrictions placed on our sex that denied us the opportunity to chart our own course in life. It was about freedom, including economic freedom and freedom from endless child bearing. Equality with men has not been achieved even today but at least I can take out a personal loan these days without needing a male guarantor.

Courtesy doesn't have to die because I am a free agent within my marriage and in my experience it is not dead.
 
I've had good experiences with men young and old when it comes to holding a door open, etc. Maybe some teenagers don't have those kind of manners, but some do. I also hold doors for men of all ages, and say thank you and you're welcome when these little everyday things are done. When I was young and saw an elderly man on a bus or subway, or someone with a physical impairment, I'd always offer them my seat, so sex didn't have much to do with it.

Chic, I'm sorry you and your mom have had such bad experiences, there's always some inconsiderate jerks around. On the highway there's a lot of discourteous road rage, I thinks it's also by both sexes. Some cities are much worse I understand.
 
When I worked at the airlines, we had seminars occasionally on showing respect to all ages and sexes, no matter what. Even little children deserve our attention and respect. They paid the same amount for the ticket as the man in the business suit. And most importantly, we never knew who we were speaking to or interacting with most of the time. We did have some passengers that were repeats for several years and we get to know them, but the other 98%, we have no idea who they are. So, in the customer service business, which I was, it's best to be respectful and treat people in the manner that I wish to be treated.
 
On the plus side of this equation, (there's always a plus side guys) I notice WOMEN are being much nicer and considerate to women. When I'm balancing a couple of lattes, elbowing my way out the door of Starbucks, if a man lets the door slam on me a woman will hold it open and we'll have a pleasant exchange the way men and ladies used to back in the day. Kind of a necessary but welcome role reversal of sorts. So through all of this change and negativity, a form of sisterhood is emerging and it's really nice. IMHO.

I wanted to add before I close that holding doors open for seniors is just common courtesy. I hold doors open for elderly men walking with canes if they need help. It's the decent thing to do and since I was brought up to care about others, it's a habit I can't and will not break. It makes the world a better place because the little things add up.
 
chic said:
I wanted to add before I close that holding doors open for seniors is just common courtesy. I hold doors open for elderly men walking with canes if they need help. It's the decent thing to do and since I was brought up to care about others, it's a habit I can't and will not break. It makes the world a better place because the little things add up.
Click to expand...

I'm like you Chic, my parents raised me to be polite and considerate to others, and it's always stayed with me. I see it a lot in other though too, which is nice. Regardless of age or sex, I treat people like I would like to be treated, usually works out well and may include a pleasant exchange.
 
OTOH I had a door half open ready to enter a store, when I saw a woman approaching.

So, I fully opened the door for her. She breezed right through without a word of thanks;

Like I was the official doorman. I said, "You're welcome."
 
Falcon said:
OTOH I had a door half open ready to enter a store, when I saw a woman approaching.

So, I fully opened the door for her. She breezed right through without a word of thanks;

Like I was the official doorman. I said, "You're welcome."
Click to expand...

That was darned rude. It's not that she is female, it's that she is rude and has no consideration for others. I'm glad you said what you said, Falcon!
 
I read the article in the ops 1st. post. This one sentence at the end relating to work place sexual harassment I think summed up the difference between then and now.


Quote
"The difference now is that we have the power to expose them. And as this week's events demonstrated, they can no longer rely on the Old Boys Club to protect them."




Rudeness and or disrespect for either sex outside the work place is a whole other area that has grown. Could it be technology has a major role in why these are disappearing?


Saying "Please" and "Thank you."
Holding the door open for others.
Saying, "Excuse me."
Telling someone, "Bless you."
Using eye contact.
Waiting your turn.
Using someone's PROPER title.
Basic respect for one another.
Ladies first.
sidewalk etiquette.


People are so wrapped up in using technology that actual interaction on a personal level doesn't happen like it did.
 
I don't think this really has that much to do with gender, or women speaking out about men's bad behavior. People just seem to have become more rude, period. They are just as rude to men.

Speaking out about inapproproiate sexual advances (or worse) is a whole different kettle of fish.
 
On the flip side, a while back I was at the grocery store and having trouble reaching and putting a heavy item into my cart. A teen age boy helped me. He was so polite - asked if I needed anymore help. I saw him in the parking lot with his parents and I made sure I told them.
 
I remember how sexual harassment was handled in "the old days".

I worked for a large metropolitan daily newspaper and to get to the area I worked in, we had to walk through the typesetting room. There was a yellow path painted on the floor and we had to stay on that path. The typesetters no longer had jobs but their union was strong enough to keep them on the payroll until they retired. Thus, they had nothing to do all day but sit and read newspapers and harass the ladies who had to walk through the room. "OH BABY BABY BABY!! SHAKE THAT THING! OOOOH, I LIKE WHAT I SEE!" etc., etc. day in and day out. They never touched us but it was definitely like walking through a gauntlet.

We were told to "just ignore them" and that there was nothing the company could do about it. I assume they were afraid of the union. We were not union, thus had no protection. More than one woman was reduced to tears and a few quit because of that. I guess we were stupid enough to believe we HAD to put up with it. We pretty much knew that "the law" wouldn't back us up.....after all, it was "just words" - <gag> and they weren't touching us.

I still want to go back and pepper some behinds with buckshot but probably most of them are dead by now.
 
Falcon said:
OTOH I had a door half open ready to enter a store, when I saw a woman approaching.

So, I fully opened the door for her. She breezed right through without a word of thanks;

Like I was the official doorman. I said, "You're welcome."
Click to expand...

Aw. That was kind of you and she was inconsiderate not to thank you. Maybe if women were more grateful to men for doing these little acts of courtesy, they'd do them more often?
 
Knight said:
I read the article in the ops 1st. post. This one sentence at the end relating to work place sexual harassment I think summed up the difference between then and now.


Quote
"The difference now is that we have the power to expose them. And as this week's events demonstrated, they can no longer rely on the Old Boys Club to protect them."




Rudeness and or disrespect for either sex outside the work place is a whole other area that has grown. Could it be technology has a major role in why these are disappearing?


Saying "Please" and "Thank you."
Holding the door open for others.
Saying, "Excuse me."
Telling someone, "Bless you."
Using eye contact.
Waiting your turn.
Using someone's PROPER title.
Basic respect for one another.
Ladies first.
sidewalk etiquette.


People are so wrapped up in using technology that actual interaction on a personal level doesn't happen like it did.
Click to expand...

IMO some of it has to do with having a few generations raised by daycare workers instead of the environment that most of us grew up in with a parent or family member investing in us and giving us personal attention, training, etc...
 
Wren said:
I also think woman’s lib has a lot to answer for, although I agree with things like equal pay for doing the same work etc. I never wanted to be a man !

Unfortunately some feminists went over the top and it’s women who appreciate things like courtesy and consideration from men, who are are paying the price.....
Click to expand...

When I was pregnant in 1963, before so-called "women's lib," I had to ride the bus to and from work because my able-bodied husband's ego required him to have our car sitting in his work parking lot all day.

Anyway, the bus I had to ride was always packed with people. My stomach was huge when I was pregnant so no one could pretend they didn't notice. Only one person ever offered me their seat -- that was an older woman.

Some men have always been rude and selfish. Don't blame that on anything women did, except to raise them.
 
As a school girl, travelling on public transport, we were required to give up our seats to adults. I had no hesitation about doing this because I was agile, with good balance and in any case, if I felt like it I could always sit on my school case. This behaviour was taught by my mother and reinforced by the school. I taught my children the same lesson.

Women have all sorts of power and influence if they choose to use it.
 
Warrigal said:
This is an interesting statement. I have read Germaine Greer and it is her position that the women's liberation movement of her time was not about women achieving equality with men but rather demanding freedom from the restrictions placed on our sex that denied us the opportunity to chart our own course in life. It was about freedom, including economic freedom and freedom from endless child bearing. Equality with men has not been achieved even today but at least I can take out a personal loan these days without needing a male guarantor.

Courtesy doesn't have to die because I am a free agent within my marriage and in my experience it is not dead.
Click to expand...



"Equality with men has not been achieved even today "

I do not know about Australia but here in America women are equal to men in every way. Actually, ever since the observance of EEO & Affirmative Action began, they have some advantage.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top