As I've said already, BUT, (there's always a "but"), if you insist I'll repeat myself, it matters not to me whether it's childish or not, or whether anyone else thinks its childish, it doesn't matter if it is. If you're dealing with someone you've loved as well as you possibly could who is shunning you, and you know if you'd have let anyone else tell you how to behave as a parent you'd have been denying her and yourself the loving relationship she once needed, well I've nothing to apologise to anyone for I believe!Now, that's just childish.
My father wished to hold my ex's behaviour against my daughter, even though as a child she was clearly innocent, however he clearly believed in "striking back", or at least not putting up with anyone treating him badly, (or in this case his son badly, he felt I was to be protected from those taking advantage of me, even holding it against the next generation!).
The funny thing is, in my view, those who do get on the front foot, and make it clear to anyone, "absolutely anyone" who might try to take advantage of them they won't stand for it, those people then don't try it on, or not so often anyway!
I hope you're following my logic, but if not, "no worries", (or " no worries mate/cobber" for any antipodean members! ).