Thanksgiving. Sigh.

A few years back I was at a business conference in Italy for Thanksgiving.

My colleagues arranged to have me served "tacchino", Italian for turkey. I appreciated the gesture, but the dish certainly was unlike any Thanksgiving meal I have ever had. Tasted good, but had I not been told I would never have guessed it was turkey. Don't think many here have tacchino on the menu.
 
Yeah, I know Thanksgiving is 7 weeks and 4 days away, but I'm already getting excited. Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, brandied cranberries, green bean casserole, rutabaga and Brussels sprouts for DSIL and me.

Since DD thinks it's too much trouble, I'm gonna do all the cooking and make fruit salad my way instead of hers and make the green bean casserole the way I like it and always made it, and and and... 😋

Her green bean casserole recipe uses too much milk, and her fruit salad has sour cream in it :)sick:). At my somewhat advanced age, I want my dinner to be the way I remember it from all the years before I came back here.

So there. I'm gonna pretend I'm Frank Sinatra and do it 🎵My Way🎵. Except for peanut butter pie. She can make the peanut butter pie:)
 

Ronni said:
I’ve taken to doing thanksgiving potluck style. I love getting the kinfolk together but no longer want to do all the work, so that’s my compromise. Y’all come to our house BUT bring a dish to share!
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Many years ago I broke the family tradition of a hot Christmas dinner. In late December in Sydney it can be stinking hot and cooking anything on Christmas morning is ridiculous. I served cold turkey and ham with various salads. Even the hot steamed pudding and custard was replaced with a cold jellied fruit dessert complete with the traditional silver coins inside.

Today, most Australians have made new family traditions for Christmas. Cold seafood is popular and eating outdoors is common. Platters of fresh fruit - mango, melons, strawberries, grapes and lychees are very popular and why not?

There is another thread here about freewill. If a tradition is oppressive I say exercise free will and make it less so. Having the women do all the work before and after the meal while the menfolk loaf around sounds pretty oppressive to me. Keep the turkey but make the rest as easy as possible.
 
Thanksgiving dinner items are now on the grocery list in my phone. Today we scored cranberries at Aldi, and this afternoon I made brandied cranberries. I had to taste test them, of course, to make sure they were okay for others to eat ;) As soon as they were cool enough I did just that. Delicious.

The list is long. Very long! What do I have so far? A can of Libby's pumpkin. The only turkeys we found were 20-25 lbs and not many of those. All we want is a 6-8 lb turkey breast. It looks like Avian flu has taken a toll, and I bet it's gonna cost a king's ransom for turkey this year. Good thing I work in a grocery store. Stuff will cost, but at least I'll be able to get it all.
 
Georgiagranny said:
Yeah. I know. It's still two months away, but just the other day DD said "We're going out for Thanksgiving dinner this year."

DH and I did that. Once. We hated it. The house didn't smell like Thanksgiving. And there were no leftovers :cry: It was like the holiday never happened.

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday because there's nothing expected except...dinner. Family time. Even as a little kid, I loved Thanksgiving. I am desolate.
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Is she a city dweller? Children? Event held in her home? It might be your favorite but for many, it is time consuming and stressful.

Because we live on a lake we are the designated “summer/fall” hosts. I personally dread it. The in-laws try to out cook each other so too much food is cooked. I thankfully am Keto and they certainly ARE NOT so I cook for myself but partner cooks for them and he has to try to out cook his sisters. We have to completely move our living quarters and outside to take on 15 or more people. WE have one sister that “will not” say if she and her family is coming (husband, daughter, son in law and grandson) or what she/they are bringing. One holiday because no one said what they were bringing, they all made salads. My partner has a boy he helped raise and also will not say if he is coming. I thankfully do not have family in the area. Makes my stomach churn just thinking about the upcoming holidays. P.S. I am a planner. I like to know who, what, when and why for these events well in advance so I can prepare my home for chaos.
 
The problem is that DD simply doesn't like to cook. She likes to eat, though. There are only five of us...DD, DSIL, DGD, DGS, me.

In the past, I've done the lion's share of the cooking. This year I'll do it all except the peanut butter pie.

It helps that I have a full kitchen and hers is just down the back hall. Two fridges, two stovetops, two ovens, two nuke boxes and a dishwasher make it easier. She has a dishwasher; I didn't want one.
 
Sigh. Now I don't even want to be bothered with a traditional dinner here. DS and his husband have invited me for Thanksgiving dinner...either that or they bring it over here on the day after. I'd rather spend the holiday on the holiday and don't like that DS always gets the short end of the stick.

I'd really like to spend a holiday with DS for a change. DD has refused to speak to him for almost 15 years. She's a gold-medalist at carrying a grudge. That leaves me in the middle, especially since I no longer drive. DS lives 30 miles south of here.

I'm tempted to volunteer to work Thanksgiving Day 😢
 
fuzzybuddy said:
It sounds that it's not Thanksgiving dinner that is the problem, but the relationship with your kids?
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precisely

ETA: not my relationship with my kids...the non-relationship between them because DD refuses to have a relationship. There are times when she can be an absolute beeyotch.
 
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IKE said:
With mama being Asian we swap off every other year or so between a traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings and Vietnamese cha gio which is basically seasoned pork rolled in rice paper then deep fried and eaten with veggies on the side and dipped in fish sauce.......I've already been informed that it's cha gio again this year (second year in a row) which just tickles me to death.

https://thewoksoflife.com/cha-gio-vietnamese-fried-spring-rolls/

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Those are so good! The last time I ordered to-go from a Vietnamese restaurant I bought 3 dozen of those.
 
Georgiagranny said:
I asked DD this morning why we're going out for Thanksgiving dinner instead of cooking and eating at home. She said it would be easier and besides we throw away too many leftovers.

My solution: Easier to not make so much food, enough for dinner and for leftovers on Friday = no waste.

She said okay. Yay. I feel better now:)
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What a good way to compromise and communicate well!
 
Georgiagranny said:
Sigh. Now I don't even want to be bothered with a traditional dinner here. DS and his husband have invited me for Thanksgiving dinner...either that or they bring it over here on the day after. I'd rather spend the holiday on the holiday and don't like that DS always gets the short end of the stick.

I'd really like to spend a holiday with DS for a change. DD has refused to speak to him for almost 15 years. She's a gold-medalist at carrying a grudge. That leaves me in the middle, especially since I no longer drive. DS lives 30 miles south of here.

I'm tempted to volunteer to work Thanksgiving Day 😢
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Why not have Thanksgiving Day with DD as you've planned and then have After Thanksgiving Day with DS? I know that's not what you want. You want DD to forgive DS so you can all spend the holiday together. Evidently, that's not gonna happen.

Pull yourself out of the middle. Have Thanksgiving Day with DD as you've planned, then have DS drive himself, his husband, and dinner to your place for After Thanksgiving Day. That way, you don't have to choose between DD and DS. It's better to see DS the day after and spend time with him than not see him at all. That's what I'd do. It's a damn sight better than working on Thanksgiving Day. That's punishing yourself, and you don't deserve that.
 
@Bella That's the plan as of right now. It's just that DD didn't want to be bothered with Thanksgiving dinner this year and wanted to go out to eat until I said I'd cook. Just wish I was cooking for a real, whole family instead of a family where one member has been shunned. Now I wish I hadn't volunteered.

TBH, DGD is 22 and still lives at home but has her own life. She'll probably stick around for dinner and then leave to meet friends. DGS is 24 and has his own place and his own life and makes time for family stuff when he's expected to appear.

When DS visits, he and DSIL come on DSIL's day off, usually a Thursday, and bring lunch. Thursday also happens to be one of the days that DD works away from home. It's almost always my day off, too, so the logistics work out nicely.

Thanksgiving is on Thursday...

Sometimes I just hate my life.
 
It is just me and my husband but a friend is wanting to come this year. She offered to cook part of the meal and I will cook part.We ate out once and it just did not seem like Thanksgiving to us.
 
I am invited to family thanksgiving but I choose not to attend. The stress is just to much for my nerves and emotions. I stay home, with the pups, cook what I want which does not include turkey. I will make a pumpkin pie, love it.
It is my day of reflection to remember all the wonderful things of the past.
 
Best I know, my Thanksgiving will be with several good friends this
years, we all bring a dish and enjoy a nice time. It though I've heard
will be a nicely prepared Duck dinner for Thanksgiving, so am looking
forward to it~
 
For the first time in over 50yrs of marriage, my husband and I and my daughter and her family have been invited to her sister-in-laws for Thanksgiving dinner. My son in laws Dad passed away last month so I won't refuse.
 
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