The General Humor Thread

Men, Spiders and Jars...

Harvard University Study indicates that divorce rates would 134.28 times higher if not for "the spider killings" and "those darn jars that just won't open..."

(comment from my wife - "Oh sure and don't forget about the trash...")
 

Husband - The Stupidity Challenge...

Every day, my wife informs me just how stupid I really am.

And every day, I work hard. I work very very hard and prove...

that she is entirely correct!!!

Today, I discovered theft on the property.
The garbage can covers were missing. I was looking around for them. I thought which neighbors were most likely to do this.
I thought we might have a juvenile delinquent in the neighborhood, who has now decided to start pulling practical vandalism.

Ah, but no...none of all that.

Just some husband stupidity is all.
I had put the garbage can covers inside the actual garbage cans, then, forgetting, just piled the garbage on top.
I even thought to myself..."hey, that is odd, I didn't think we had that much trash this week..."

Month of May

Wife - 1
Husband - 0

++++

Lifetime

Wife - 12,987
Husband - 15*

* - ok, just kidding...Husband - 0
 

Ode to Joy , BBC Proms 2009

- Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain

Yes...Ukuleles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​




The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain (UOGB) is a British musical ensemble founded in 1985 by George Hinchliffe and Kitty Lux as bit of fun. The orchestra features ukuleles of various sizes and registers from soprano to bass. The UOGB is best known for performing musically faithful but often tongue-in-cheek covers of popular songs and musical pieces from a wide variety of music genres taken "from the rich pageant of western music". The songs are often performed with a reinterpretation, sometimes with a complete genre twist, or well known songs from multiple genres are seamlessly woven together. Songs are introduced with light hearted deadpan humour, and juxtaposition is a feature of their act, the members of the orchestra wear semi-formal (black tie) evening dress and sit behind music stands, in a parody of a classical ensemble.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ukulele_Orchestra_of_Great_Britain
 

this was a legitimate post, from back around 2015...

**Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised**


**Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised**


The North Adams Police Department is urging everyone to NOT chase bears through the woods with a dull hatchet, drunk. Yes that really did happen tonight. We understand there are bears in the area. If you see a bear, LEAVE IT ALONE and call us. We certainly don’t need anyone going all Davy Crockett chasing it through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet. It is just a bad idea and not going to end well. It will however, certainly end you up in jail…which it did. The hatchet man was taken into protective custody due to his incapacitation from the consumption of alcoholic beverage. We are still trying to figure out what his end game was. Any thoughts on what he was going to do if he did locate it? We would certainly like to hear because we have no idea.
 
couple this could be us memes
 
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