The truth about women who Live Alone without a man

Magna-Carta said:
I think this is it with this type of thing, most of we humans seem to think that most of everyone else has got it better. A single person my think that married people have it better, and vise versa.

There is a hell of a lot for potential 'better' in both circumstances. And some might have experienced both and neither has been any better for them. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. What might be 'greener' is how we see and interpret our own thoughts and experiences of it all. The 'greener' side could just be about how we recognizes our personal situations, what we can hold on to and learn from, and how we allow or dismiss those things that can or have affected us.

Sometimes, i just smile at the not so good past experiences.
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No he absolutely had it better. He doesn't have kids, but he didn't want kids. That's the plus side I have and why I'm glad I married, but for the rest no thanks. I almost died and then they took my baby and I had to bow down and obey to see my own kids and always stay calm and friendly when he got mad cause they gave him the power. Sure the kids are worth it and it may have been good for my character but I will warn anyone in such a situation who wants to listen to not do it.
 
The video doesn't seem to be up anymore, but I confess I probably wouldn't have watched it. That stuff gets into your youtube history and the recommendations get weird so, you have to go in and delete them. Also, my attention span for this sort of thing is nearly non-existent.

Anyway, I did want to chime in on this subject, if I may. :)

I have two partners and I love them dearly; don't like to think of my life without them. For real.

However, having written that, if I were to lose either or both of them, gods forbid, I would not be looking to replace them. I think at that point I'd just be over the whole thing and I would be happier by myself, with myself.


Edit: typo ( of course. :/ )
 
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Medusa said:
The video doesn't seem to be up anymore, but I confess I probably wouldn't have watched it. That stuff get into your youtube history and the recommendations gets weird so, you have to go in and delete them. Also, my attention span for this sort of thing is nearly non-existent.

Anyway, I did want to chime in on this subject, if I may. :)

I have two partners and I love them dearly; don't like to think of my life without them. For real.

However, having written that, if I were to lose either or both of them, gods forbid, I would not be looking to replace them. I think at that point I'd just be over the whole thing and I would be happier by myself, with myself.
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The video is still up, from what I can see, but I get your point that YouTube recommendations can get weird depending on what we click on.

The channel that the video is on seems to have been started on 21st of March this year, from an account in South Africa. In that time it already has 30 videos. AI generated from what I can see.

There is no named qualifications of the person or organization who made the video. No background mentioned of the person or people behind it, and from what I can see, no references made to anything.

The YouTube description of the video on this thread does say"...inspired by Jungian theory and self-discovery". Which to me says AI generated words based on Carl Jung.

There is a 2,200 word transcript of the video though, which to me looks somewhat hollow or repetitive.

UPDATE:
Early on in the video it says, "From the time we are children, we are taught that a woman is a puzzle piece waiting for its match. We are told that our value is tied to our other half and that a house without a man is just an empty shell."

I can't ever remember being "taught" that! I can't in my lifetime even remember someone saying that. It all seems a bit, last century or two. A bit, Jane Austen.
 
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For 2 years, I was sole caretaker of my wife, and as I saw her dying a little each day, a part of me did too. I'm not complaining, it was just a harsh reality I willingly took on, just as she would have done for me, had the situation been reversed.

But, I do not want to go through that with someone again, nor would I want her to have to go through it with me. If I reach a point when I can no longer care for myself, I will hire a caretaker or go to a facility.

Not only that, but often the new person has a family (or children) I may not like or want to be around. Also, I do not want to combine assets with a new wife or change my estate documents. And finally, at this juncture of my life, I can think of few things worse than a divorce if it didn't work out.

I've been told, "But you don't have to get married, you can just live together." No. Maybe they can; I cannot.
 
hearlady said:
I was going to comment that it was AI however still a good video. I watched an AI video last night on health and it was very good advice!
Back on subject, I listen to this lady sometimes as I'm an introvert and now an introvert who's alone. I think being that way has helped me transition better. She has several good videos about living alone.

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Thank you for that @hearlady

I have taken care of myself since I was 15 years old, (emancipated minor). I had a job and an apartment with friends.

#5 is the one that occasionally is on my mind. I really dislike the fact that someday someone may have to tend to all my needs.
Scary...😱
 
I admire women who live alone and enjoy their lives to the fullest.

What I don't admire is a single woman who is "man hungry" and obsesses about finding a partner. I'll share quick story...

I worked with a woman in her 40's who constantly talked about finding a man. She was attractive but somewhat "showy" in the way she dressed. She was very successful in her career but a disaster in her personal life.

She met a guy her age on a flight to NYC and they hit it off. I think they were stuck together in NYC during 9/11. She was savvy in tech and somehow found out he was with American Airlines and had a wife. She still pursued him. When we attended conferences together, if her phone rang she would immediately put aside what she was doing and run to see if it was him who was calling. She was obsessed. He must have felt smothered because he ending up ending their relationship.

This continued with every man she met. I know because she would tell all of us who worked with her. IMO women like this just appear "needy" and they are last to find partners.

Amazingly, in her 50's and against all odds she eventually found a husband. I was happy for her, mainly because I didn't have to hear about it anymore! :ROFLMAO:
 
seadoug said:
I admire women who live alone and enjoy their lives to the fullest.

What I don't admire is a single woman who is "man hungry" and obsesses about finding a partner. I'll share quick story...

I worked with a woman in her 40's who constantly talked about finding a man. She was attractive but somewhat "showy" in the way she dressed. She was very successful in her career but a disaster in her personal life.

She met a guy her age on a flight to NYC and they hit it off. I think they were stuck together in NYC during 9/11. She was savvy in tech and somehow found out he was with American Airlines and had a wife. She still pursued him. When we attended conferences together, if her phone rang she would immediately put aside what she was doing and run to see if it was him who was calling. She was obsessed. He must have felt smothered because he ending up ending their relationship.

This continued with every man she met. I know because she would tell all of us who worked with her. IMO women like this just appear "needy" and they are last to find partners.

Amazingly, in her 50's and against all odds she eventually found a husband. I was happy for her, mainly because I didn't have to hear about it anymore! :ROFLMAO:
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I wish them the best, for your ears sake.
However that does not mean the relationship will work out, If she is clingy and he is not, there could be a serious problem.
:LOL:
 
Well, I didn't listen to it all @hollydolly, but I certainly agree that women don't need a man or a woman partner to be happy. My mom always emphasized that sure, it was nice to have a husband and have kids, but by no means was it the only way to live. Both parents stressed a good education and being able to take care of ourselves financially.

By the time I was 34, I had long given up ever finding a partner and I was totally good about that. Having children was not a must for me either, whether single or partnered with someone.

I was making good money, saving and hoping to buy a condo for myself and perhaps have a pet. I was going out with friends and making friends with strangers because I was into cross-country skiing. I was very happy. And then when I was not looking for a partner, my husband came into my life and we both clicked and we got married - 36 years married and happy.
 
seadoug said:
When we attended conferences together, if her phone rang she would immediately put aside what she was doing and run to see if it was him who was calling. She was obsessed. He must have felt smothered because he ending up ending their relationship.
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That reminds me of my sister. Almost before the ink was dry on her divorce papers she was out looking for a man, chasing after anyone who showed even the vaguest interest. I got soooo tired of hearing about it. She was in one relationship for quite awhile, with a man who had two young teenage daughters. He wanted to wait until they were a bit older before moving in together, which made sense to me. She kept bugging him about it, and that relationship eventually ended.

She and I haven't spoken in years, but I heard through my father that she eventually did remarry.
 
oscash said:
Yep, describes me to a tee. I look at my sisters who still have their husbands, and it is a constant battle of who does what. They are always complaining.
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In the household? That's sad. My sis and BIL just retired and are chilling. They bought a small boat. They're a great couple.
 
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hollydolly said:
you don't have to have a husband for that or a live in lover...or even a lover... you can have a best friend.... absolutely no need for many women to want to live with any other person..
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I think it depends on the situation (as always). Living with someone can be bliss and it can be hell. And this sometimes changing between both of it.

If my wife should leave her body before I leave mine, I probably would not look for another woman to live with. As far as I know her attitude on this is the same.
 
MarciKS said:
Some women need men. Some women like having them around. But not all of us want one or are content with one. Some of us have found serenity in being alone. Whether it be because we were let down one too many times or because some women just like being on their own.
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Some decades ago a married woman said to us at a hotel in Italy: "Men and women just aren't compatible". This was during breakfast and we sat at the same table with her and her husband :ROFLMAO:.
 
hollydolly said:
yes.. they do try and set me up.... it's not that I'm anti-men...in fact most of my closest friends are male.... but all my friends female and male wonder how I can cope with no-one here every day. They're not taking into onsideration that I'm not 20...I've lived a life with men..been married twie, and in between had many relationships.. if it had been a Job, then I would be described as highly experienced..... . I don't want it, nor need it any more..
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Well that's pretty clear. I don't think the AI added anything better than your own reasons. Nothing wrong with it but neither is there anything wrong with someone still wanting a live-in relationship in old age. Your truth is your truth, whatever it may be. There is only something wrong with fitting your life to someone else's truth and expecting it to make you content. There needs to be some authenticity in the choices one makes in life.
 
MarkD said:
Well that's pretty clear. I don't think the AI added anything better than your own reasons. Nothing wrong with it but neither is there anything wrong with someone still wanting a live-in relationship in old age. Your truth is your truth, whatever it may be. There is only something wrong with fitting your life to someone else's truth and expecting it to make you content. There needs to be some authenticity in the choices one makes in life.
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If it was nice you may want to try again or stay alone cause you only loved that person. If it was not nice you take a cat or something.

My grandma said, when the reverend asked her to marry her: Even if you decorate my house with gold never again will I start with that misery. Her experience was not so nice.

You can try a 2nd time, but if it gets worse and worse you have to just accept that the Doris Day videos were a lie. She ended up with a bunch of dogs after 5 failed marriages. It is only true for some people who both love each other.

My grandma had a great time though. She played cards with the neighbours for money which they put in a pot and then went out to eat from it. Her marriage was horrendous. He cheated with half the neighbourhood and even lived with other women, but she thought divorce was a sin.
 
Magna-Carta said:
The video is still up, from what I can see, but I get your point that YouTube recommendations can get weird



UPDATE:
Early on in the video it says, "From the time we are children, we are taught that a woman is a puzzle piece waiting for its match. We are told that our value is tied to our other half and that a house without a man is just an empty shell."

I can't ever remember being "taught" that! I can't in my lifetime even remember someone saying that. It all seems a bit, last century or two. A bit, Jane Austen.
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I agree.
IMO, the video sets up a lot of straw men that the speaker can easily knock down.
 
Personally, I’ve spent almost my entire life married since the age of 18. I will be 72 in a few months and I have lived alone for five years, which is the longest I have ever been by myself. I actually didn’t think that I’d like it, but I really love it.

My home is very peaceful just being here with my two dogs. I have a lot of friends and family to do fun things with. Since I sold my house and bought my condo I really have an easy life. I don’t have to clean up after anybody anymore or have anybody tell me what to do.

Three years ago, one of my friends was 77 and her husband died. Within six months, she had joined four paid dating sites, hired a love coach and had professional pictures of herself taken. She went on a date with everybody that asked. She pursued a few people that she knew, and didn’t even particularly like before her husband died.

After about a year, she found somebody that lived 4 hours away. He came to visit and within less than a week he drove home, loaded up his truck and moved in with her. They got married two months later. I tried to talk to her about just living with him and not marrying him, but she married him anyways. She has a lot more money than him. I have no clue how it’s working out because I rarely hear from her anymore.
 
George1959 said:
Some decades ago a married woman said to us at a hotel in Italy: "Men and women just aren't compatible". This was during breakfast and we sat at the same table with her and her husband :ROFLMAO:.
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Well honestly it's not easy being compatible with men and keeping a relationship together. It takes a lot of work and if only one party is on board the whole ship sinks.
 
Being alone I found that less thinking works very well, less thinking and more investing in the present moment which, really, is all we have... the focus for me is on wellbeing, I believe I am responsible for my well being.
 
I married at 20 and became a widow 61 years later. The early years were a bit tough, I was not really ready for marriage and motherhood then and Hubby and I had a lot of growing up and learning to do. If it were not for the solemn vows that I committed to at the beginning, I might have left the marriage.

I take solemn vows and oaths very seriously. I'm pretty sure I would be very hesitant to make promises to another person that involved words like "as long as you both shall live".
 
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