gordoncarnegie47
New Member
I've really enjoyed your writing, thank you.
Was Henry a Buddhist?
I did a stand up at her funeral
I wish I had of had the guts for that one......Prolly would have been taken out in a straight jacket...![]()
Well, my brother and I bombed at our dad's funeral
'Course, everbody there was over 90 and couldn't hear their own butts fart
Gary——-My wife has a PhD and taught English Lierature at a major university here in the East. She has been reading some of your posts (she never posts) and asked me if you were ever published? I told her that I had no idea, but that I would ask?
I so admire your raw honesty.written seven years ago....
For many of my first years, aside from play, I could be found with a blank stare on my face.
My thought pattern count, of over, say, 2-3 hours would be the grand total of minus zero.
Not even day dreaming, just a nil undefinable gaze of inert mental process.
It wasn’t until many years later (six decades to be exact), that I actually became aware enough to put my non thoughts into words.
I, as many, became busy with life.
But now have come somewhat full circle.
Not that I sit with ‘the stares’, fixated on absolutely nothing.
But I now enjoy removing all busy thoughts, and all the hectic little things that are forever emerging,
getting in the way of a serene view of our wonderful reality, and center on the intangible zephyr of existence.
I simply call it ‘The Happiness of Being’.
Dad had a rather satanic twist to his personality that came out and ambushed us kids.
I guess the little one sided fun game of pinning your children to the floor and letting your saliva drool string dangle over their frantic squirming faces until it almost lands,
then sucking it back up, is a game played by many a dad, but mine really really enjoyed it…really.
I tried it on mine, but never got the hang of the sucking saliva back in procedure.
So, it all became rather traumatic, with frowns and scolding from my better half…and a towel.
One event that sorta stands out is when we went to the zoo.
The old Portland zoo had a bear pit, huge, deep pit, enclosed with an iron fence embedded in concrete that us little guys could stand on for a better view, pressed against the bars.
Dad picked me up and dangled me,
by my ankles,
over the fence,
above the now very interested grizzlies.
They all gathered under me, fixated, licking their chops.
I stayed very still…survival.
After maybe 3 minutes of going up and down, or the relative time span of a four year old’s life passing before his eyes…three times…..
my dad’s arms musta got tired, so he hauled me back up and we proceeded to the lion’s den.
Sarcasm ran deep in our family.
Snide mocking acidic remarks directed at the butt of the harsh jokes…me.
I, like an idiot, would laugh along with them. Yes, laugh with the cruel aliens that loosely called themselves my parents.
Then even my good hearted acceptance of their verbal scorn would become the next target.
Years later I’d become quite good at these derisive remarks myself, and, as they say, what goes around comes around.
They were no match….hardly anyone is in my league….maybe satan….maybe.
I have learned to stay away from that mindset.
People are too precious.
This weekend we went to lunch with my dad and his wife.
His 90th birthday is next month.
Can’t see to adjust the remote on his hearing aids.
Food ends up on his shirt and lap.
Laughs out of context.
Can’t find his way to the restroom by himself.
Nose runs constantly, while eating.
But, he’s a happy heart.
And, his lady is 20 years younger.
Not sure if he planned it this way, but she’s his caregiver.
I owe her.
The man loves his sugar.
Ordered pecan waffles.
Extra syrup.
Extra butter.
She cut.
He spooned.
Ever last drop of pecans, butter, syrup.
Then ordered pecan pie.
With ice cream.
Ate every bite.
Well, at 90, what the hell, go for it.
The rest of us ordered normal food, with salad, soup.
When our salads and soups came, there was nothing for him yet.
He jokingly complained.
I told the waiter to just bring him a bowl of sugar cubes.
(half joking)
Once done with his pie, he was ready for the trip to the restroom.
He had several napkins piled up, all containing copious amounts of syrup and pecan bits.
However, several syrup soaked pecans found their way onto his shirt and pants.
Once he got stood up, his lady took a spoon and scraped off the majority.
Last time he’d wandered into the ladies room.
It may not have been a mistake.
He’s always been a ladies man.
So I took him.
There was my dad, tottering in front of me, no longer the brisk pace of a man with a place to go.
Klingon napkins velcro’d to the seat of his levis and elbow.
A bit confused, but an eternal smiley good front, grinning and nodding at waitresses while in full mosey.
He does a lot of crying.
Over happy things.
‘That was the best pie I ever had', lips quivering, 'boooohooo, awww, hooohoo….’ .
(Geeezus)
Do I wanna go there?
As we all rose from the table, his lady put his leather jacket on him.
She dresses him quite sporty.
Levis, plaid shirt, Nikes, black leather jacket….and syrup.
Once his coat was on, he raised both arms, shaking like a weight lifter hitting the max….’Ninety!!’
Folks in adjacent booths clapped.
Maybe 90 won’t be so bad.
I’ve got 27 years to get there.
I’ll take my time.
Poor thing, English lit prof...reading my fractured rendition of that language
Yes, I'm a word butcher
A couple books
One should be burned
The other, tiny one, did OK
Working on another
Marketing a book...that's the tough one
Hey Gary, GREAT stories!!! It is fun to write tales that bring back memories of times past. Keeps the old brain working too...![]()
Living in the country and running through the woods ,building tree huts
:laugh: You always make me laugh.Nothing like it.....nothing
It would be mandatory for every child, if I were king
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