What do women really want?

Aunt Marg said:
And how about those who "rent" their vehicles?

Between dear husband and myself, we know MANY who lease their vehicles, because the payments are cheaper, and at the end of the term, they hand the keys back to the dealer and drive home in a brand spanking new one.

That sort of mentality I will NEVER understand.
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My daughter did this so she could always have an updated expensive car. Once she realized that a six figure job, on call all the time job, as not worth the money she quit that job. Bought a used car and discovered you can play the game just as well from the cheap seats. 🤓
 
Some women really need, to the point of "requiring" a man that makes a high salary. Luckily, my wife wasn't like that at all, but her salary was much, much higher than mine. Her Bachelors Degree got that for her. What she got was a man that loved to cook, could help clean the home-do laundry-load, run, unload dishwasher, change bed linens........all with no complaints. A guy that looked great (her feelings) in Western clothes and could saddle/ride a horse. A guy, like herself, was very much "marriage minded" and loved to darn near everything together.

Then again, there are women that don't want a man with tattoos, my wife was exactly like that. Doesn't want a man that smokes. And, I'm sure the list goes on for the "wants" and "don't want".
 
Aneeda72 said:
My daughter did this so she could always have an updated expensive car. Once she realized that a six figure job, on call all the time job, as not worth the money she quit that job. Bought a used car and discovered you can play the game just as well from the cheap seats. 🤓
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Good on your daughter.

It will never cease to amaze me what today's generation puts themselves through in the way of stress, financial uncertainty and hardship, and all in the name of putting on a show for others, or their attempt at keeping up with the Jones's.
 
Aunt Marg said:
Good on your daughter.

It will never cease to amaze me what today's generation puts themselves through in the way of stress, financial uncertainty and hardship, and all in the name of putting on a show for others, or their attempt at keeping up with the Jones's.
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She reinvented herself. Went from a high paying job working for a credit card company to working part time as a teachers aide for disabled children in a school for the deaf. I think she came to a lot of realizations in that time period.

She then returned to higher paying jobs, but never returned to any job that required “putting on a show“. She now works at home due to the virus, makes a decent living, and as I have said, is raising her granddaughter. A granddaughter is so much more important than a fancy car. 😍. Many people, sadly, never learn this lesson.
 
Aneeda72 said:
She reinvented herself. Went from a high paying job working for a credit card company to working part time as a teachers aide for disabled children in a school for the deaf. I think she came to a lot of realizations in that time period.

She then returned to higher paying jobs, but never returned to any job that required “putting on a show“. She now works at home due to the virus, makes a decent living, and as I have said, is raising her granddaughter. A granddaughter is so much more important than a fancy car. 😍. Many people, sadly, never learn this lesson.
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I agree, and it seems that it's becoming chronic today.
 
Aunt Marg said:
Good on your daughter.

It will never cease to amaze me what today's generation puts themselves through in the way of stress, financial uncertainty and hardship, and all in the name of putting on a show for others, or their attempt at keeping up with the Jones's.
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While I can't comment on today's generation since I don't have any kids or other connection to that generation personally, I can comment on at least some of people putting themselves in debt. In short, there is a form of conditioning as to what becomes the comfortable norm. If that is what everybody you (not "you" you, but general "you") know does, so it is the norm, then that can become the lifestyle. When I was growing up, there was much shame in not being able to manage one's finances, but that has apparently changed if I am to believe the stats on credit card debt, car debt, etc.

I was talking to my younger brother, who still lives in Los Angeles and he mentioned that the rent on the house he was renting in North Hollywood went from $4k a month (a bargain, apparently) to $6 a month, so he moved to an apartment. I recounted my experience when we were considering a movie to the East Bay area when jobs around here were scarce and there was a good job out there for me. I said that if we had made that move, we would never get out of debt for a home. He said that the mindset out there is very different than where I live because having a mortgage is not so much about paying it off, but a hedge against rising rent prices.

So there seem to be different ways that people think of debt. To me, our condo is the only thing that stands between us and homelessness (i.e. no place to live), so paying it off as quickly as possible was a priority, and we are really glad now that we did that. I would not want a rent or mortgage payment every month eating up my savings or SS in retirement. Also, rent can be hard to budget for when changing conditions ca quickly and radically effect prices. When the mortgage crisis hit, lots of people lost their homes and crowded into the rental market, quickly driving up prices due to supply and demand suddenly shifting. At the same time, the stock market plunged. If a person were retired then and depending on investments to supplement SS, and still had a mortgage or worse, renting, that would be a real cause for stress.

Tony
 
tbeltrans said:
While I can't comment on today's generation since I don't have any kids or other connection to that generation personally, I can comment on at least some of people putting themselves in debt. In short, there is a form of conditioning as to what becomes the comfortable norm. If that is what everybody you (not "you" you, but general "you") know does, so it is the norm, then that can become the lifestyle. When I was growing up, there was much shame in not being able to manage one's finances, but that has apparently changed if I am to believe the stats on credit card debt, car debt, etc.

I was talking to my younger brother, who still lives in Los Angeles and he mentioned that the rent on the house he was renting in North Hollywood went from $4k a month (a bargain, apparently) to $6 a month, so he moved to an apartment. I recounted my experience when we were considering a movie to the East Bay area when jobs around here were scarce and there was a good job out there for me. I said that if we had made that move, we would never get out of debt for a home. He said that the mindset out there is very different than where I live because having a mortgage is not so much about paying it off, but a hedge against rising rent prices.

So there seem to be different ways that people think of debt. To me, our condo is the only thing that stands between us and homelessness (i.e. no place to live), so paying it off as quickly as possible was a priority, and we are really glad now that we did that. I would not want a rent or mortgage payment every month eating up my savings or SS in retirement. Also, rent can be hard to budget for when changing conditions ca quickly and radically effect prices. When the mortgage crisis hit, lots of people lost their homes and crowded into the rental market, quickly driving up prices due to supply and demand suddenly shifting. At the same time, the stock market plunged. If a person were retired then and depending on investments to supplement SS, and still had a mortgage or worse, renting, that would be a real cause for stress.

Tony
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Your and my conversation sure takes me back to my younger childhood days, when families bought a home within their affordability range, they worked hard to pay it off, and once they had the home paid off, they didn't look to move and upgrade again but rather, they looked to maybe put on a small addition, possible do a few renovations, and then they enjoyed the ride, as in hunkered-down and enjoyed their home.

It wasn't unheard of to still see families residing in the same home they bought some 40 years earlier, and people seemed happier, more content living life simply and uncomplicated, unlike today where from all that I see, people tend to welcome hardship and stressors by looking for more when they can afford so little.

I hear it often nowadays... "both couples have to work to get by today", and while there is a shade of truth behind that way of thinking, I don't buy into it fully. When I was young and growing, families had a single family vehicle they relied on, and I was hard-pressed to count on one hand how many families had recreational vehicles or boats to their name. Very few, today however, not so, I see enormous homes rising all the time with not just a single garage anymore like it used to be, but multi-garages, and all bays are filled, and even more surprising is seeing those newly built homes seemingly vacant or uninhabited most of the time, because the couples are too busy being slaves to their jobs. The question always arises in me... for what? For materialistic possessions? You can have it.

Call me old-fashioned, but our average home is nothing fancy, but it's warm, comfortable, welcoming, and full of love, and that's more than I can say for the cold and often clinical-like homes I see today, where there are no lights on, no movement within or outside of, and aside from the homes making a statement as to their newness, they don't hold a lick to homes like ours where the people who reside within are real people, non-materialistic people, people who you can sit down with over a cup of coffee and have an enjoyable conversation with.
 
Aunt Marg said:
What do you want, Graham, outside of a rough diamond?
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My dear mama used to say it was my dads sense of humour made her go for him, though he said she was smitten from the start, and banged her head on the panel behind her at the village hall when she first clapped eyes on the handsome, confident young eighteen year old man he most certainly was, (three years her senior to the day). 🕺 .

I guess I'm like my mum in that respect, as many other respects no doubt, (with just a wee bit of my dads fire perhaps?). "Thanks for asking!". :):whistle: .
 
Grahamg posted a "Rough Diamond "

Rough Diamonds are a once in a life time occurrence'
Males are too ignorant or too poor to grasp who and what a 'diamond' their dealing
with and let them slip away.
I hope they find/found someone or something they deserve.
 
Aunt Marg said:
Your and my conversation sure takes me back to my younger childhood days, when families bought a home within their affordability range, they worked hard to pay it off, and once they had the home paid off, they didn't look to move and upgrade again but rather, they looked to maybe put on a small addition, possible do a few renovations, and then they enjoyed the ride, as in hunkered-down and enjoyed their home.

It wasn't unheard of to still see families residing in the same home they bought some 40 years earlier, and people seemed happier, more content living life simply and uncomplicated, unlike today where from all that I see, people tend to welcome hardship and stressors by looking for more when they can afford so little.

I hear it often nowadays... "both couples have to work to get by today", and while there is a shade of truth behind that way of thinking, I don't buy into it fully. When I was young and growing, families had a single family vehicle they relied on, and I was hard-pressed to count on one hand how many families had recreational vehicles or boats to their name. Very few, today however, not so, I see enormous homes rising all the time with not just a single garage anymore like it used to be, but multi-garages, and all bays are filled, and even more surprising is seeing those newly built homes seemingly vacant or uninhabited most of the time, because the couples are too busy being slaves to their jobs. The question always arises in me... for what? For materialistic possessions? You can have it.

Call me old-fashioned, but our average home is nothing fancy, but it's warm, comfortable, welcoming, and full of love, and that's more than I can say for the cold and often clinical-like homes I see today, where there are no lights on, no movement within or outside of, and aside from the homes making a statement as to their newness, they don't hold a lick to homes like ours where the people who reside within are real people, non-materialistic people, people who you can sit down with over a cup of coffee and have an enjoyable conversation with.
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While I don't take any issue with what you have said, I do feel there are additional factors at play today that put financial pressure on many people. Many things are much more expensive relative to a typical income than they were when I was growing up. Health care costs, a college education, even food and other daily items have gone up. Where pens, pencils, and notebooks were what we used in school, if I understand what I have seen in the media (print, TV, etc.) now, students are required to have a computer, which is way more expensive than the simple things we used.

When I went to college (much later in life, in the 90s), I was able to pay my way through school with a full time job and school in the evenings. I had no student loans. I doubt that I could come even close for the same degree today. I honestly don't know what those who pursue degrees in fields other than tech, medical, the sciences, or law can do to ever pay off those loans.

More in line with your observations, with both parents working, eating out becomes much more the norm. On occasion, my wife and I will stop and pickup sub sandwiches at a shop such as Subway or Jimmy John's. When we considered how far that same money could go by just buying the materials and assembling these ourselves, and to our individual liking, we stopped that practice altogether. I can't imagine how people can continue to afford that on a regular basis.

When working full time, we engineers used to go out for lunch every day back in the 80s and up through the mid-90s. Around that time, we all stopped altogether except for special occasions such as somebody new starting or somebody leaving. We are talking about people with 6 figure incomes, not minimum wage earners. We felt we couldn't afford to go out to eat anymore.

When my youngest brother died, we all congregated in Los Angeles for the funeral. As we all talked among our siblings, we began to realize that the cars we each drove and the lifestyles we had were inversely proportional to our respective incomes. A younger brother, who is an attorney made the most money and drove a car his mother in law had given him, an old Ford Probe. I was next as an engineer and I drove a Toyota Echo (still drive that same car 10 years later) I bought used for $5k cash. I have now had the car for 16 years. The youngest, who had died, drove a brand new truck that we used to go places because it was big, expensive, and comfortable, and fit all of us. All those in between followed that same arc that I mentioned here.

As I recall when working full time, with both parents and kids, they needed daycare, and it cost as much as one of the two made working full time. I can see the rationale, because if they got divorced or one of them died, the other would need a career to keep afloat (at least that is my guess giving the benefit of the doubt).

Tony
 
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