What do women really want?

Honesty and Sincerity.
It goes without saying - respect.

And what are they going to do to earn it ?

I'm not surprised that this question was asked but I am disappointed that it was. All people should get honesty and sincerity without earning it. I also think that there should be at least some level of respect given to people without them having to earn it. Higher levels of respect can be earned and lower level of respect can be applied to people as they lose one's respect by their actions.
 
While I don't take any issue with what you have said, I do feel there are additional factors at play today that put financial pressure on many people. Many things are much more expensive relative to a typical income than they were when I was growing up. Health care costs, a college education, even food and other daily items have gone up. Where pens, pencils, and notebooks were what we used in school, if I understand what I have seen in the media (print, TV, etc.) now, students are required to have a computer, which is way more expensive than the simple things we used.

When I went to college (much later in life, in the 90s), I was able to pay my way through school with a full time job and school in the evenings. I had no student loans. I doubt that I could come even close for the same degree today. I honestly don't know what those who pursue degrees in fields other than tech, medical, the sciences, or law can do to ever pay off those loans.

More in line with your observations, with both parents working, eating out becomes much more the norm. On occasion, my wife and I will stop and pickup sub sandwiches at a shop such as Subway or Jimmy John's. When we considered how far that same money could go by just buying the materials and assembling these ourselves, and to our individual liking, we stopped that practice altogether. I can't imagine how people can continue to afford that on a regular basis.

When working full time, we engineers used to go out for lunch every day back in the 80s and up through the mid-90s. Around that time, we all stopped altogether except for special occasions such as somebody new starting or somebody leaving. We are talking about people with 6 figure incomes, not minimum wage earners. We felt we couldn't afford to go out to eat anymore.

When my youngest brother died, we all congregated in Los Angeles for the funeral. As we all talked among our siblings, we began to realize that the cars we each drove and the lifestyles we had were inversely proportional to our respective incomes. A younger brother, who is an attorney made the most money and drove a car his mother in law had given him, an old Ford Probe. I was next as an engineer and I drove a Toyota Echo (still drive that same car 10 years later) I bought used for $5k cash. I have now had the car for 16 years. The youngest, who had died, drove a brand new truck that we used to go places because it was big, expensive, and comfortable, and fit all of us. All those in between followed that same arc that I mentioned here.

As I recall when working full time, with both parents and kids, they needed daycare, and it cost as much as one of the two made working full time. I can see the rationale, because if they got divorced or one of them died, the other would need a career to keep afloat (at least that is my guess giving the benefit of the doubt).

Tony
Wonderful post, Tony, and I agree with the bulk of what you mentioned.

One thing that stands out for me is the expenditures associated with eating out. Dear husband and I never go out... more so now with the pandemic, however, on the rare occasion (in the past), both hubby and I were mortified over the cost of a meal out. Even the most basic of lunch for the two of us would ring in at $50 -$60 by the time a tip was added, and yet prior to when Covid hit, restaurant parking lots were packed, and a majority of the restaurant goers were young people and families.

I see no restraint these days, even though the dollar doesn't go as far as it used to. It seems to me that when times get tough and prices rise, people just dig deeper into their pockets for the means in which to fulfill their wants and needs. People spend today like there will be no tomorrow.

Where I'm going with all of this is, sure, today is more expensive than yesteryear, but somewhere along the way recognizing the fact that - you cannot afford such, has been lost. When I was growing up, no one I knew dug themselves in like folks do nowadays. Debt load is through the roof, people are one paycheck away from the soup-line, and it's no small wonder why everyone is wound up like tops and snapping and cracking, but it all revolves back to restraint.

People impose a good portion of the hardships upon themselves, because they don't know how to put their foot down and say no. No more to excessive spending, no more to frivolous things, no more to vacations and such, and the list goes on.

Sure, I feel for many people who have no control over the cost of living today, but for a majority struggling and battling the day to day rigors of high debt-load and financial woes, they've brought it upon themselves, and for those types I harvest no sympathy.

Moral of the story, live within your means. It's not hard to do.
 
Wonderful post, Tony, and I agree with the bulk of what you mentioned.

One thing that stands out for me is the expenditures associated with eating out. Dear husband and I never go out... more so now with the pandemic, however, on the rare occasion (in the past), both hubby and I were mortified over the cost of a meal out. Even the most basic of lunch for the two of us would ring in at $50 -$60 by the time a tip was added, and yet prior to when Covid hit, restaurant parking lots were packed, and a majority of the restaurant goers were young people and families.

I see no restraint these days, even though the dollar doesn't go as far as it used to. It seems to me that when times get tough and prices rise, people just dig deeper into their pockets for the means in which to fulfill their wants and needs. People spend today like there will be no tomorrow.

Where I'm going with all of this is, sure, today is more expensive than yesteryear, but somewhere along the way recognizing the fact that - you cannot afford such, has been lost. When I was growing up, no one I knew dug themselves in like folks do nowadays. Debt load is through the roof, people are one paycheck away from the soup-line, and it's no small wonder why everyone is wound up like tops and snapping and cracking, but it all revolves back to restraint.

People impose a good portion of the hardships upon themselves, because they don't know how to put their foot down and say no. No more to excessive spending, no more to frivolous things, no more to vacations and such, and the list goes on.

Sure, I feel for many people who have no control over the cost of living today, but for a majority struggling and battling the day to day rigors of high debt-load and financial woes, they've brought it upon themselves, and for those types I harvest no sympathy.

Moral of the story, live within your means. It's not hard to do.

Excellent post. :)

Tony
 
I'm not surprised that this question was asked but I am disappointed that it was. All people should get honesty and sincerity without earning it. I also think that there should be at least some level of respect given to people without them having to earn it. Higher levels of respect can be earned and lower level of respect can be applied to people as they lose one's respect by their actions.
Ohhhh yes. My thoughts exactly. Recipe for healthy interactions with others, and a mantra for living an authentic life. šŸ„°
 
All people should get honesty and sincerity without earning it. I also think that there should be at least some level of respect given to people without them having to earn it.

Yes, QFT.

Respect that needs to be earned applies to authority figures. The Army taught me and my fellow NCO candidates that subordinates shall respect the authority of a higher ranking soldier without question, but that individual cannot "command" personal respect, it would be earned by their honorable behavior.
 
I think the question is too simplistic. Different women want different things. Different people want different things. I think that showing anyone the things @Pinky mentioned, honesty, sincerity and respect, one opens the door to learning what that person wants.

I do think though, that as human beings, there are certain commonalities such as "three hots and a cot", for example. We may have different definitions for some of the things that many have said here that people want such as being treated fairly, love, respect, etc. So for different people, some of these may take somewhat different forms, but these do seem to be universal. Then, beyond basic needs/wants, we each do have individual wants.

Tony
 
I think the question is too simplistic. Different women want different things. Different people want different things. I think that showing anyone the things @Pinky mentioned, honesty, sincerity and respect, one opens the door to learning what that person wants.
I do think you've laid out exactly the flaw in the OP question, (others were close too).

My father used to say, "It wouldn't do if we were all the same" as well.

Some people like an argument for example, (I'd have to put myself in that category, and my mother fitted into it too I'm sure, so another likeness), whilst others are adept at avoiding arguments pretty well, both in their private lives and beyond. A cousin of mine said when she tried to provoke her husband into an argument when they were first married, he just wouldn't get worked up about things as she wanted. It annoyed her but she had to live with it, or learn to live with it, and they've continued to have a very happy and successful marriage fifty years on. I'd suggest that is a good example of learning to "manage" your partner/spouse, (or "handle them" if the words dont offend too much :whistle: ?).
 
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I doubt you're rough in the sense I meant the word at all, and I'd guess your guy is a lucky man too, (even a roughish fool like me can have a go at charm sometimes ;) ).
Lol. Iā€™m just joking around with you.
Im actually the lucky one. My man is my better half for sure. Heā€™s the best thing that ever happened to me and Iā€™m most grateful.ā¤
Plus heā€™s funny šŸ˜

You are just as deserving of finding someone special grahamg. šŸ„°
 
I do think though, that as human beings, there are certain commonalities such as "three hots and a cot", for example. We may have different definitions for some of the things that many have said here that people want such as being treated fairly, love, respect, etc. So for different people, some of these may take somewhat different forms, but these do seem to be universal. Then, beyond basic needs/wants, we each do have individual wants.

Tony

I agree with what you're saying to some degree, but think some of the things you're describing are needs not wants.

The point I was trying to make is I think it's a mistake to group any person with others who are in the same group (gender, race, religion, nationality) when considering something about them. I prefer to deal with people as individuals. Some of the groupings listed above might give me some indication of what they may be like or what they may desire, but it isn't a given. I'd rather assume that I can't tell by what I know about them superficially and be open to learning more about who they are and what they think and/or want.

Going back to what Pinky wrote, giving them my honesty, sincerity and respect is a great start towards getting to know who they are and what they want.
 
I agree with what you're saying to some degree, but think some of the things you're describing are needs not wants.

The point I was trying to make is I think it's a mistake to group any person with others who are in the same group (gender, race, religion, nationality) when considering something about them. I prefer to deal with people as individuals. Some of the groupings listed above might give me some indication of what they may be like or what they may desire, but it isn't a given. I'd rather assume that I can't tell by what I know about them superficially and be open to learning more about who they are and what they think and/or want.

Going back to what Pinky wrote, giving them my honesty, sincerity and respect is a great start towards getting to know who they are and what they want.

I have said pretty much the same as you about seeing individuals instead of groups in other threads, so I do agree. I also think that in discussions such as this, differences between needs and wants can become a somewhat grey area, so your first sentence makes sense in any of the contexts in this thread.

I can't imagine disagreeing with your last sentence (or Pinky) either.

Tony
 
I agree with what you're saying to some degree, but think some of the things you're describing are needs not wants.

The point I was trying to make is I think it's a mistake to group any person with others who are in the same group (gender, race, religion, nationality) when considering something about them. I prefer to deal with people as individuals. Some of the groupings listed above might give me some indication of what they may be like or what they may desire, but it isn't a given. I'd rather assume that I can't tell by what I know about them superficially and be open to learning more about who they are and what they think and/or want.

Going back to what Pinky wrote, giving them my honesty, sincerity and respect is a great start towards getting to know who they are and what they want.
Don't you think, when you're hit by cupids arrow, all kinds of rational, or reasonable, respectful even, thought goes out the window a little? :unsure: .
 
It can happen at forty, (not got any evidence to prove one way or tother so far as sixty goes). :cry: .
For the most part, todayā€™s young woman are better educated about man woman relationships than ever in history. They have the internet-know how to check men or women out. While some older woman may become the prey of a con artist, Cupid if you will, those professionals are very good at what they do.
 
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