What's that wet spot?

Aunt Marg said:
As for the teacher abusing your brother, she got off scot-free, for had it been one of us (me or one of my baby siblings), my dad would have wrung her neck, and I don't even want to think what my husband would have done over such.
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Mom didn't tell my dad about that teacher until years later. Besides being protective of his family, he had a bad temper. Not a short temper, just not the kind of guy you want to piss-off.
 

Murrmurr said:
Besides being targeted bc of his weight, he has no interest in basketball or joining a gang. Plus, his older brother holds sway around here, and he doesn't like him.
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That's a really tough age.

My heart breaks for him. He's the kind of kid I would love to take under my wing, he needs love and care, he needs attention, and he needs someone who he trusts and enjoys being around.

He's the kind of kid my husband would love to take out in the wilderness with him on a hike, to observe animals and top apex predators in their natural environment.

My bet is the boy doesn't have a father figure, or at least a solid father figure?
 
Murrmurr said:
Mom didn't tell my dad about that teacher until years later. Besides being protective of his family, he had a bad temper. Not a short temper, just not the kind of guy you want to piss-off.
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My dad was the same. It was my mom who had a short fuse, but when dads fuse finally went and the lid popped off the pot, look out.
 

The child needs to see a child psychologist. Obviously there are some problems. He can't wear diapers and use a plastic sheet all his life.

Have a talk with his mother, that's the best and kindest thing to do. Your input may not be welcome, but for the sake of the boy, you should try that option.
 
Tish said:
I would ask his mother about it and depending on her response maybe suggest buying him disposable underwear.
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I'm thinking that's a good way to go. But I'll talk to him, too, and buy some for him if he wants/needs, and he can take em home or keep em here. I'll leave that up to him. But we'll also talk about him bringing a change of clothes next time. That's gonna be a must. He can even shower here if he wants to. It's already sort of his second home.
 
Aunt Marg said:
That's a really tough age.

My heart breaks for him. He's the kind of kid I would love to take under my wing, he needs love and care, he needs attention, and he needs someone who he trusts and enjoys being around.

He's the kind of kid my husband would love to take out in the wilderness with him on a hike, to observe animals and top apex predators in their natural environment.

My bet is the boy doesn't have a father figure, or at least a solid father figure?
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He hangs out here even when my g-kids aren't here. He loves going with me when I go to pick them up for the weekend . My son is a toy collector and his collection is huge. He's given the kid the toy-tour; Star Wars, Marvel, DC, anime, and movie-related toys/figures. The kid was in nerd heaven. My son also invited him to their Halloween party and a birthday party.

Anyway, he sees his father several times a year...once a month or something. Dad buys him clothes, shoes, games, etc. but doesn't spend a whole lot of time with him.
 
Murrmurr said:
He hangs out here even when my g-kids aren't here. He loves going with me when I go to pick them up for the weekend . My son is a toy collector and his collection is huge. He's given the kid the toy-tour; Star Wars, Marvel, DC, anime, and movie-related toys/figures. The kid was in nerd heaven. My son also invited him to their Halloween party and a birthday party.

Anyway, he sees his father several times a year...once a month or something. Dad buys him clothes, shoes, games, etc. but doesn't spend a whole lot of time with him.
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My heart is torn, torn between the love and attention you extend to him, and the lack of time, love, and closeness he doesn't get to enjoy and share with his father more readily.

Kudos to you for taking him under your wing as best you can, and with any luck, the closeness and warm feelings he gets from being around those like you and your grandson, may just help him move forward and past his struggles.
 
Aunt Marg said:
My heart is torn, torn between the love and attention you extend to him, and the lack of time, love, and closeness he doesn't get to enjoy and share with his father more readily.

Kudos to you for taking him under your wing as best you can, and with any luck, the closeness and warm feelings he gets from being around those like you and your grandson, may just help him move forward and past his struggles.
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You do what you can, you know? My younger son takes after me when it comes to kids; size and color don't matter, kids are precious people, and a needy kid gets a bit of what he needs at my house and my son's. (and his wife is 100% on-board with it)

Sometimes the smallest kindness you extend to someone gets a lot of mileage in that person's life, and you probably won't even ever know it.
 
Murrmurr said:
You do what you can, you know? My younger son takes after me when it comes to kids; size and color don't matter, kids are precious people, and a needy kid gets a bit of what he needs at my house and my son's. (and his wife is 100% on-board with it)

Sometimes the smallest kindness you extend to someone gets a lot of mileage in that person's life, and you probably won't even ever know it.
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I've been both recipient of friend's parental kindness when I was young, and been that parent to many of my daughter's lost friends.

Bless you, Murr.
 
Pinky said:
I've been both recipient of friend's parental kindness when I was young, and been that parent to many of my daughter's lost friends.

Bless you, Murr.
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Everywhere we lived my mom was wonderful to all our friends. (Wish I could think of a better word than 'wonderful' but that gets it across, I guess.) Our friends loved coming to our house. I was pretty much unaware growing up, but I realize now that she helped a few who had troubles. What kind of troubles, I don't know. That was between her and them. And that's as it should be.

It's easy to tell you're a kind person, Pinky. I have no doubt you've effected people in a positive way.
 
You’re a very very good man Murrmurr! That kid is lucky to have you as his neighbour.

Both my DDs, a granddaughter & I were all bed wetters. Slept like a log and then it ended. We all are small so the bladder was small too.

When I’d call and mention that there was a problem, it felt like the moms wanted to cancel the sleepover. I sent supplies, but there were no pull ups then. I had a couple of accidents happen with kids at my place. No warning had been given.
 
Murrmurr said:
Everywhere we lived my mom was wonderful to all our friends. (Wish I could think of a better word than 'wonderful' but that gets it across, I guess.) Our friends loved coming to our house. I was pretty much unaware growing up, but I realize now that she helped a few who had troubles. What kind of troubles, I don't know. That was between her and them. And that's as it should be.

It's easy to tell you're a kind person, Pinky. I have no doubt you've effected people in a positive way.
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Thank you so much, Murr. Keep making a difference 🙂
 
Jules said:
You’re a very very good man Murrmurr! That kid is lucky to have you as his neighbour.

Both my DDs, a granddaughter & I were all bed wetters. Slept like a log and then it ended. We all are small so the bladder was small too.

When I’d call and mention that there was a problem, it felt like the moms wanted to cancel the sleepover. I sent supplies, but there were no pull ups then. I had a couple of accidents happen with kids at my place. No warning had been given.
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When I talk to his mom about it I'll definitely open with "Hey, it's not a problem, but in the future..." Last thing I wanna do is make the situation worse for him. And I'll probably talk to him first.

I've heard most kids "outgrow" bedwetting. I don't doubt it'll stop for him at some point.
 
Murrmurr said:
You do what you can, you know? My younger son takes after me when it comes to kids; size and color don't matter, kids are precious people, and a needy kid gets a bit of what he needs at my house and my son's. (and his wife is 100% on-board with it)

Sometimes the smallest kindness you extend to someone gets a lot of mileage in that person's life, and you probably won't even ever know it.
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Especially when it comes to little ones/younger ones.

The little things mean so much to them.
 
Murrmurr said:
When I talk to his mom about it I'll definitely open with "Hey, it's not a problem, but in the future..." Last thing I wanna do is make the situation worse for him. And I'll probably talk to him first.

I've heard most kids "outgrow" bedwetting. I don't doubt it'll stop for him at some point.
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The sooner - the better, especially at his age.

No fluids after 6 pm, and definitely no caffeinated beverages, and of course a trip to the bathroom immediately prior to bed.

The ones I had experience with outgrew bed/pants-wetting by age 6-7.

I'm hoping being around a father-like figure as yourself, along with your grandson, will have a positive effect on him.
 
Not at all unusual for boys to be bedwetters up to the age of 12-my hubby was one of them. Girls who are late bedwetters usually stop by 8. So at 13,he is not terribly over the age that it usually cures itself,but I`m also thinking that he could have a sleep apnea issue,given that you say he is obese(and yes,I hate that word too,but it is the term for it.Hopefully he`s not morbidly obese,an even worse term). Anyway,I would hope that mom would be aware of that possibility if she works in healthcare,but who knows. Do you know if he snores? That would be a tipoff. And yes,keep some adult Depends on hand for the poor kid.
 
Murrmurr you sound like a wonderful man. It seems like your grandson is taking after you by being friends with a young boy that doesn't seem like he has any other friends. There were good suggestions made here, but honestly, I think you are the only one that knows the best way to handle this situation. I am heartbroken to hear what this young boy has to endure.
 
Mrs. Robinson said:
Not at all unusual for boys to be bedwetters up to the age of 12-my hubby was one of them. Girls who are late bedwetters usually stop by 8. So at 13,he is not terribly over the age that it usually cures itself,but I`m also thinking that he could have a sleep apnea issue,given that you say he is obese(and yes,I hate that word too,but it is the term for it.Hopefully he`s not morbidly obese,an even worse term). Anyway,I would hope that mom would be aware of that possibility if she works in healthcare,but who knows. Do you know if he snores? That would be a tipoff. And yes,keep some adult Depends on hand for the poor kid.
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I've never heard him snore. I sleep in a separate room at night but he's come here to watch TV and fell asleep on my couch a couple times and didn't snore. And he was lying down. Sleeping upright can keep you from snoring sometimes.

His mother is also overweight. She works 2 jobs so I think they eat a lot of fast food. But she frequently buys him snacks and soda, too. Probably because she feels sorry for him, wants to make him happy, feels guilty for the problems in his life. I wish she'd see that giving him that crap is the opposite of helpful.
 
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Murrmurr said:
What can I do to push you over the line, Pepper? :p

I don't like the word obese, either, but I thought it was PC (my DIL calls herself obese) and the word overweight didn't even occur to me for some reason. Would've been a better choice.

There are a lot of non-positive stories around here, usually involving kids. Could be why I don't start many threads.
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"Overweight" doesn't mean quite the same thing as "obese." My sister god quite offended when her doctor classified her as obese. He explained to her that "obese" is a medical designation and is based on parameters of body mass and weight.
 
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