StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
Why does your husband get to choose whether or not you move?
Add that puny punk Zuckerberg to the list!The next time someone mentions you are not a college grad, remind them that neither Bill Gates nor Steve Jobs were either.
Wait. You worked at a university? Well there you go. Of course your education level would come up in conversation. Of course some would look down their snoots at your HS education.I know, right? But unfortunately, I and other blue collar gals I know have run into this a lot. (From what I hear, it doesn't seem to happen as much to blue-collar guys but I could be wrong; chime in here, guys, if it's happened to you.) There was a lot of education snobbery at the Univ. where I worked. One of the professors told me in dead seriousness, "If you wanted to be treated decently in this life, you should've gotten a college degree."
I tell them I have a high school diploma and watch their faces kind of shut down. (I notice that nobody who has only a hs dipl ever asks me; it's always some1 with a degree...funny that.In my whole life, nobody but prospective employers have ever asked me what my education level is. It certainly doesn't come up in polite conversation around here unless people are talking about their old alma mater and football or something.
Why is your education level any of anybody else's business? Why do you tell them?
That's a good idea; we have no stairs or even steps; the shower is already walk in, but the costs for wider doorways & grab bars might motivate. Though, how he always wins these arguments is, he keeps telling me "Look, you won't have to put up with this place & me much longer; I'm on borrowed time so prob. won't be around much longer & then you can do what you want, etc. etc." (And it's true, as far back as they know on both sides of his family, the oldest anybody ever lived to be was 74 & that was considered ancient. Heavy drinkers on 1 side of the fam and heavy smokers & distrusters of doctors on both sides; so if you made it to your 70s, that was really something.)Would it do any good to have someone give estimates for making adjustments to your home for senior years, i.e. a stair chairlift, walk in shower, wider doorways, grab bars everywhere?
Maybe the cost would be a motivator?
Gonna have to disagree with you on your last paragraph; I and others I've talked to have encountered it a lot of other places. For instance, Hubby worked for the city we live in and 1 year the brochure that came around from management announcing the Christmas party literally said (to the best of my recoll.), "It's time for our annual Christmas party for all our valued" [yeah, right] "employees: white collar," [this was understood to be all male employees who worked in 1 of the offices] "pink collar," [understood to be all female office employees] "blue collar," [understood to be any employee who was neither management nor office worker] "and ring-around-the-collar." [Everybody knew that this referred to the hourly, non-benefit-earning employees who of course never worked in management or the office.] "Ring-around-the-collar;" and management says they don't understand why some employees are disgruntled. Uh huh.Wait. You worked at a university? Well there you go. Of course your education level would come up in conversation. Of course some would look down their snoots at your HS education.
Higher education is the entire focus, the very reason universities exist. It stands to reason that professors and staff would (over) emphasize the importance of advanced degrees. It's typically their employment, their calling, and the source of their social connections.
Outside of the world of academia, the focus on other people's education levels is minimal. College stops coming up in conversation after people's lives focus on other things.
No idea where you live, but I'd have been outta that city and outta that job.Gonna have to disagree with you on your last paragraph; I and others I've talked to have encountered it a lot of other places. For instance, Hubby worked for the city we live in and 1 year the brochure that came around from management announcing the Christmas party literally said (to the best of my recoll.), "It's time for our annual Christmas party for all our valued" [yeah, right] "employees: white collar," [this was understood to be all male employees who worked in 1 of the offices] "pink collar," [understood to be all female office employees] "blue collar," [understood to be any employee who was neither management nor office worker] "and ring-around-the-collar." [Everybody knew that this referred to the hourly, non-benefit-earning employees who of course never worked in management or the office.] "Ring-around-the-collar;" and management says they don't understand why some employees are disgruntled. Uh huh.
Wish we could've but couldn't afford to & had elderly fam members we couldn't leave either, sigh.No idea where you live, but I'd have been outta that city and outta that job.
Well, , you don’t know enough people, IMO. I’ve been very poor and yet I managed not to be a workaholic. I LOVE to garden and don’t mind pulling weeds, from my flower gardens, in the early morning hours.Hi, sorry I haven't responded; for some reason even though I've got it set for SF to email when there are new replies to my watched topics, that's not happening, sigh. Anyway, thanks for all the suggestions (I'm def. going to try the chamomile but not lavender which I'm allergic to); Hubby has already told me that he plans to drive until he drops dead and if that's when he's behind the wheel, he says too bad, that won't be his problem. So I guess it doesn't matter that I can't get him to move somewhere within walking distance of stores, etc. because he only likes to walk for recreation, not for something important like going to the store because it reminds him of his younger, poor years when he *had* to walk everywhere.
(You know, don't ever let anybody tell ya that being poor is actually a good thing because it "builds character." No, it doesn't most of the time; all the people I've known who grew up poor turned into driven, scared-to-death of ever "doing without" again, workaholics or into people who have given up & refuse to save, strive, try for anything, etc. All of 'em.)
Mine gets to choose, he has the money, maybe it’s the same for her.Why does your husband get to choose whether or not you move?
Oh Officer...I didn't know your brother in law died! Condolences to the family. And who tried to put you down because you didn't graduate from college. Point me to him/her...I'll beat 'em up! Officer you are a kind, generous, caring person who deserves the very best. Hell with those who said "we only heard one side of the story". I trust your side of the story because we've been friends (albeit online) a very long time and I know your heart. You are right...there are many women in the same (or very similar predicament). It's no walk in the park, so I hope things get resolved for you very soon.Yeah
Yeah, you're right Lewkat; this "prequel" grieving over his brother is hellish. (Hubby's 73.)
Oh, I'm sorry, Diva, I didn't express myself clearly (again, sigh): BIL is still alive & hanging in there as best he can but he actually feels worse emotionally than physically; as you can imagine, all of his doctors are telling him his time is limited; he told me he feels sorta like he's on death row in a way, poor guy.Oh Officer...I didn't know your brother in law died! Condolences to the family. And who tried to put you down because you didn't graduate from college. Point me to him/her...I'll beat 'em up! Officer you are a kind, generous, caring person who deserves the very best. Hell with those who said "we only heard one side of the story". I trust your side of the story because we've been friends (albeit online) a very long time and I know your heart. You are right...there are many women in the same (or very similar predicament). It's no walk in the park, so I hope things get resolved for you very soon.
Yup, some neighborhoods are like that and I think this one is one. Although, we talk to some of the neighbors whether they like it or not, lol. From a distance, of course, due to the virus. One thing I like is it’s mostly older folks here, less children, yay.Oh, I'm sorry, Diva, I didn't express myself clearly (again, sigh): BIL is still alive & hanging in there as best he can but he actually feels worse emotionally than physically; as you can imagine, all of his doctors are telling him his time is limited; he told me he feels sorta like he's on death row in a way, poor guy.
To Aneeda: what I would love is a nice little condo or maybe mobile home park that had a recreation room where there were some activities that I could participate in or somewhere that neighbors were closer & you could at least chat once in a while instead of just watching them at a distance pulling in or out of their driveway. (Although I was told even back before the lockdown that places like that that had activities were getting to be rare; I guess even before the lockdown around here, recreation rooms in most of those places were sitting there dusty & unused.)
And sometimes I wonder if it's this neighborhood or whole area: shortly after we moved here, I was out in the front yard & a lady who lived a street over pulled her car over & handed me a flyer. She & her husb. were planning to have a yard sale in a coupla months & if any1 else in the neighborhood wanted to also, she'd gladly pay for the ad & list it as a neighborhood sale. Also she had on the flyer that if there was enough interest, they'd be glad to host a bbq in their driveway after the sale. I told her we didn't have anything to sell but would be interested in the bbq; I thought how fun, get to meet the neighbors; be sure & let me know what I can bring, we have an extra grill, etc.
Welp, some weeks later when I was pulling into the neighborhood, I saw her out in her front yard & I pulled over to ask her what the response was. She said "Would you believe that you are the only one who has expressed any interest? In fact, I tried going to every house in this neighborbood [2 long streets of houses] and if I could tell someone was home I went up & rang their doorbell because you're not supposed to put stuff in people's mailboxes. Well, nobody would even answer their door! I guess they thought I was trying to sell something but even after going ahead & putting the flyer in their boxes anyway, I never heard a thing back. So my husband and I are just going to do the yard sale & forget the bbq. Last time I'll try to ever arrange anything social around here." They since moved away, can't blame them, I guess.
There are no townhouses near our 1 golf course, only a mobile home park with no nearby amenities (and the mhp is not cheap but is totally depressing with no greenery, only decorative rocks in the yards because a buncha hard-core golfers live there & the only outdoors they care about is the golf course, I guess). And townhouses (or what they call townhouses around here anyway) are 2 story & we don't want any stairs or steps.A townhouse on a golf course might appeal to him. You still want to be in easy distance of amenities.
Are you on a bus route so you can go shopping? When I couldn’t drive for a few months, I took the city bus so I wouldn’t be bothering my DH. He didn’t mind driving me, I just liked my freedom.
My wife is a retired Professor at a major university here in the east. From time to time, we have to share time with some of her colleagues. All of these people are super brainiacs while I only have a single degree in Engineering.Calvin Coolidge quote:
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
But a degree in Engineering does too mean you're a brainiac! I read somewhere that not only did Engineering build both the ancient and modern wonders of the world but that it was engineers rather than doctors who helped advance human hygiene and health. Seems like engineers (of all kinds) can do anything!My wife is a retired Professor at a major university here in the east. From time to time, we have to share time with some of her colleagues. All of these people are super brainiacs while I only have a single degree in Engineering.
On one such evening about seven or eight years ago, they started discussing molecular something or other. This went on for almost two hours. I was so bored that if I could have got my hands on my gun, I may have ended my misery.
After we got home, my wife asked me if I enjoyed the evening as much as she did. I don’t often lie, but that night I did.