JustDave
Well-known Member
Yes, Yes, and Yes! But it's been a slow day, so I responded.This is a gaslighting question....don't get pulled in.
Why women are so bossy,...., making the case for this, (apologies to those not so!)
- Thread starter grahamg
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grahamg
Old codger
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- South of Manchester, UK
Only a bit though, and the OP list of differences is worth considering, because men just dont have a clue do we, (my dear dad used to say, "If men had to give birth to the babies there would be a lot less kids in this world"!).
grahamg
Old codger
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- South of Manchester, UK
1, 2, 3, 4
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
More research:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/
and here:
https://leanin.org/tips/mvp
Quote:
"When a man is successful, his peers often like him more; when a woman is successful, both men and women often like her less. This trade-off between success and likeability creates a double bind for women. If a woman is competent, she does not seem nice enough, but if a woman seems really nice, she is considered less competent. This can have a big impact on a woman’s career. Ask yourself: Who are you more likely to support and promote, the man with high marks across the board or the woman who has equally high marks but is just not as well liked?"
"This bias often surfaces in the way women are described, both in passing and in performance reviews. When a woman asserts herself—for example, by speaking in a direct style or promoting her ideas—she is often called “aggressive” and “ambitious.” When a man does the same, he is seen as “confident” and “strong. ”When you hear a woman called “bossy” or “shrill,” request a specific example of what the woman did and then ask, “Would you have the same reaction if a man did the same thing?”
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/
and here:
https://leanin.org/tips/mvp
Quote:
"When a man is successful, his peers often like him more; when a woman is successful, both men and women often like her less. This trade-off between success and likeability creates a double bind for women. If a woman is competent, she does not seem nice enough, but if a woman seems really nice, she is considered less competent. This can have a big impact on a woman’s career. Ask yourself: Who are you more likely to support and promote, the man with high marks across the board or the woman who has equally high marks but is just not as well liked?"
"This bias often surfaces in the way women are described, both in passing and in performance reviews. When a woman asserts herself—for example, by speaking in a direct style or promoting her ideas—she is often called “aggressive” and “ambitious.” When a man does the same, he is seen as “confident” and “strong. ”When you hear a woman called “bossy” or “shrill,” request a specific example of what the woman did and then ask, “Would you have the same reaction if a man did the same thing?”
Nathan
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rgp
Well-known Member
- Location
- Milford,OH
Well, that's what this says ..... IMO
"It's not that women are bossy, it's that some men are passive aggressive pussies who blame everyone else for their own shortcomings. Short coming. That's funny."
Sassycakes
SF VIP
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- Pennsylvania
Because women have brains and they use them. Men use something else for a brain, I'm sure you know what I mean. LOL
rgp
Well-known Member
- Location
- Milford,OH
This could, COULD , could, could <grin> get much worse than politics so ... think I'll just bow out. It doesn't apply too me anyway, being single.
Bellbird
-Oceania-South Pacific
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- New Zealand
Amen to that.
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
No harm in drawing to everyone's attention the shortcomings of 99% of us men, (if my old bosses saying is anything to go by)!
As my dear old mum used to say when making a very subtle but risqué joke, "What people wish to make of my joke in their minds is up to them".
Anyway, we used to be known for tolerance, even for idiots like myself, so "whots to worry about if folks can just bring themselves to take everything with a pinch of salt as they should do".
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
"Bossy" isn't really an insult, (or really meant as such on this thread, despite negative connotations).
A girl dear to my heart was once called bossy as a child by her uncle, and I took no offence at the word being used to describe her, and she could be that way sometimes, (I'd described her as brave, but the two words go together when it comes to sticking one's neck out don't they).
And, a tad demure too I'd wager.I'm not bossy, I'm just always right. It's MY WAY or the HIGHWAY!!!
grahamg
Old codger
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- South of Manchester, UK
caroln wrote: "I'm not bossy, I'm just always right. It's MY WAY or the HIGHWAY!!! "
"It sounds like Kenny Rodgers and his friend had a few difficulties sorting matters out between them, at least according to this song, (having some relevance to the thread maybe):And, a tad demure too I'd wager.
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
No one can speak for everyone can they, and this thread isn't to your liking but others seem content enough with it dont they.Ridiculous question. People are bossy. They are female, male, bi, queer, trans, red, white, brown, black, and grey. A whole lot of people are not bossy. At all. Some are sometimes. This is a gaslighting question....don't get pulled in.
You're prepared to state "People are bossy", so no differences between men and women in terms of prevalence of this trait, (some of the research quoted gives a different view as to people's perceptions at least).
I think you over reacted with the "gaslighting question" comment.
If it is one, I'd suggest its a pretty mild example compared to the below definition and other examples, (and didn't I accept it might irritate some people, but no more than perhaps people should be prepared to tolerate in my view).
Quote:
"Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind. Typically, gaslighters are seeking to gain power and control over the other person, by distorting reality and forcing them to question their own judgment and intuition.
Here are some common examples:
- Denying that an event took place, even if there is evidence to prove it.
- Lying and contradicting what the victim knows to be true.
- Making the victim feel like they are crazy or overreacting.
- Making the victim doubt their memory and perception."
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
"Dualistic and divisive" you say, but so far a minority opinion on this thread I'm pleased to say, (only four or so people taking the same view, as far as I can tell).
By the way posting nonsense is a speciality of mine, (and I once started a thread declaring it was a nonsense thread about nothing at all and got some witty responses I'm glad to say!).
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grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
"Dont get into all that for gawds sake"!As long as the majority plays along, then we know it is justified, kind of like the Supreme Court.
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
"When you're ready m'lady just let us know, we don't mind waiting around on tenterhooks", (walks away chunnering to himself,...
).
Mr. Ed
Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
- Location
- Central NY
Personally I do not think women are any more or less bossier than males. Women have a different way of communicating to the opposite sex than male to male communication. Same is true with female communication with same sex. Sometimes my wife seems bossy but she really isn't ay all, she asks for assistance and that's not being bossy at all.
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
But do you take my point explained a little in an earlier post that very often there is nothing wrong with someone being a bit bossy, (so maybe no need to recoil from the term so much?)?
Mr. Ed
Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
- Location
- Central NY
You can call it bossy or just helpful?
grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
Yes, good excuse for being bossy that one, I'll give it a go myself very soon as I'm planning on getting a tad bossier myself, (in the right way, or at the right time, rather than almost the whole time that can become wearing!
)!i'm not so sure that women are necessarily bossy. assertive for sure for some of us. i come off as bossy at work because i'm very assertive and outspoken and the type to try to get stuff done efficiently. i think women who are more methodical tend to be viewed as being bossy when it's more just a case of organization.
Mr. Ed
Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
- Location
- Central NY
People interpret things differently. If you are having a bad day or angry, perhaps have an attitude toward someone, perhaps it is not the best to ask you to do something? Communication is both ways.