I was verbally Abused Yesterday

Mike

Mike

Well-known Member
Location
London
Sitting in a Costa Coffee shop with my friend Bobby,
we meet every Friday to put the World right over a
couple of coffees.

A woman approaches our table holding up a card
that looked like a credit card and said "I am in a
Premier Inn Hotel", I said good for you, but I spoke
over what she was saying, "and I need help".

This lady was not very clean and the young woman
who served the coffee was trying to get her out, so
I said "Sorry I don't speak to beggars", this set her
off and she started to shout and call me all kinds of
bad things, none that I would like to repeat here or
anywhere for that matter, she kept turning around
and throwing some new word, new to me anyway,
in my direction, the coffee shop is in a mall out in
the walkway, not inside a shop.

I am not callous and do give to charity, but at my own
time and choosing where it goes.

The staff in the shop were so grateful that I had upset
so much that she left, they all thanked me.

Mike.
 

well mike - a lot can be weird ,but I dont think you should have said you dont give to beggars
sounds a bit curt ' which set her off ' maybe she ws trying to say something - but whatever someone should have let her speak
imo…………..then asked her to leave .
 

Well Ladies I didn't say that I don't give to beggars,
I said that I don't speak to beggars, a slight difference!

When she said that she wasn't a beggar, I asked, "What
do you need help with"? She said that she needed money!

That is begging.

Hollydolly, the security in that particular Mall are nocturnal
I think, they are in an underground office at the other end
and rarely seen during the day.

Mike.
 
Wierd the way she displayed a card saying she was in a hotel.

Years ago as I was leaving a coffee shop a man approached me asking if I could spare a few dollars. I ignored him, then he got loud...cursed and called me names. I quickly left and ran down the street. I could run pretty good in those days! 🙂
 
CarolfromTX said:
It's a shame you can't even get a cup of coffee without being approached by a panhandler.
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It is just another part of the P.C. world that someone ? thought would be so much better for all of us....jmo

As bad as it sounds to say, people need to be kept in their place until they decide want something better, and are wiling to put forth the effort to get there. Once they get there, there is a whole host of folks willing & able to help them.
 
gennie said:
I've found that a stern face, strong shake of head and turning away with no eye contact will work for most unwanted approaches such as that. Definitely nothing verbal. It invites confrontation.
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True, exchanging words escalates the problem. Never know, they might have a weapon and nothing to lose.

Husband of a friend was spit on by a panhandler. He was tempted to punch the guy out, but wisely walked away and cleaned himself.
 
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Hard to say how to handle a situation like this. It's also easier to think of brilliant responses when we are reading about it after the fact; how many of
us would be able to come up with a perfect response right there, on the spot?

I think maybe the use of the word "beggars" was a bit over the top (even if it was true). She was probably mentally ill, sounds like it from the way she behaved, and saw it as an insult. Maybe just the word, "Sorry," or "Sorry, not this time" would have been less confrontational.

But as I said, it's easy after the fact to think of what "I shoulda said."
 
This is one of my short-comings. I tend to listen to what people have to say. If they are truly in need, I will help them. I am a “softy” when people ask for money. A few bucks means nothing to most of us, so I have no problems giving anyone a few bucks. I know I have been played, but I may have helped a few too.

I do have one exception. Groups that collect money for a cause and stand at intersections with their cans. If the can has an open top, not locked, I will not donate. The exception is firemen who run their “Fill the Boot” campaign. Any town that I drive through and their fire company is having this campaign, I gladly donate. Where would we be without “volunteer” firemen?

As for having the hotel card, the person may have found it or asked someone for it after they checked out. I know this happens because I have been asked for mine on different occasions. It seems everyone knows that flight crews carry their hotel card because we never check out.
 
I've given many times to homeless people or people in need who are outside on the street somewhere. Then it is my choice to approach them with the amount of money I want to give. Some have approached me in a parking lot or somewhere, and I've also given to them when I thought they were sincere and I had the money. I've also given to charities, local shelters and food kitchens.

But I'm with Mike on this one. I doubt that I would have used his exact words, but I would have made it clear to her to back off. When I'm sitting in a coffee shop or restaurant, especially when I'm with a friend or family member, I don't want someone rudely barging into my space to beg for money. Perhaps the conversation was serious or sensitive, like speaking of someone who had just died or is in the hospital, maybe a couple on the verge of divorce. Had the same women been outside, it may have been a different story.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I've given many times to homeless people or people in need who are outside on the street somewhere. Then it is my choice to approach them with the amount of money I want to give. Some have approached me in a parking lot or somewhere, and I've also given to them when I thought they were sincere and I had the money. I've also given to charities, local shelters and food kitchens.

But I'm with Mike on this one. I doubt that I would have used his exact words, but I would have made it clear to her to back off. When I'm sitting in a coffee shop or restaurant, especially when I'm with a friend or family member, I don't want someone rudely barging into my space to beg for money. Perhaps the conversation was serious or sensitive, like speaking of someone who had just died or is in the hospital, maybe a couple on the verge of divorce. Had the same women been outside, it may have been a different story.
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You are right. I have read that beggars should beware of older people. We are the least likely people to handover money. I once read in Forbes magazine, the older adults donate less money than any other age group. I disagree with that, but since I never did a scientific study, I couldn’t disparage it either.
 
In England we have street folk who ask for donations by selling The Big Big Issue. At first I resented seeing them saying Big Issue but it was never aggressive and I ignored their requests. I read about this organisation and have bought a mag from the folk from time to time. It's a self help orgsnisation and helps those who are having a hard time finding work and digs.
 
CrackerJack said:
In England we have street folk who ask for donations by selling The Big Big Issue. At first I resented seeing them saying Big Issue but it was never aggressive and I ignored their requests. I read about this organisation and have bought a mag from the folk from time to time. It's a self help orgsnisation and helps those who are having a hard time finding work and digs.
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What kind of stuff is in the magazine? How much is it? Do they keep some of the money?
 
CrackerJack said:
In England we have street folk who ask for donations by selling The Big Big Issue. At first I resented seeing them saying Big Issue but it was never aggressive and I ignored their requests. I read about this organisation and have bought a mag from the folk from time to time. It's a self help orgsnisation and helps those who are having a hard time finding work and digs.
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What an excellent idea. ❤️🥰😎
 
oldman said:
What kind of stuff is in the magazine? How much is it? Do they keep some of the money?
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Not sure indepth what this org. does and Googled it but couldnt the link copied to here. The mag I bought was years ago and cant recall the content but its helping unrmployed get back to the workplace: which prompts me to buy one next time in a big town or city and catch up with it.

The mag costs £2.50

Hope this link works:
www.bigissue.org.uk
 
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CrackerJack said:
Not sure indepth what this org. does and Googled it but couldnt the link copied to here. The mag I bought was years ago and cant recall the content but its helping unrmployed get back to the workplace: which prompts me to buy one next time in a big town or city and catch up with it.

The mag costs £2.50

Hope this link works if maybe Google it.

www.bigissue.com
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It looks like it is in Australia alsohttps://www.thebigissue.org.au/
 

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