Dating after 50

Problem is.... after a certain age, where do you go to meet people interested in relationships. After you exhaust the "acceptable" methods.. Church and fix ups from friends... where next? In the grocery store? Bars or clubs? Who hangs in bars and clubs anymore?... So I found online sites very useful. I met my husband on Match. We were both in our early 50's and were widowed. We have been married 11 years now and very happy with our decision. We would have never met even though we both live in the Chicago area.. That's a pretty big area and we lived at opposite ends. Might as well have been from different countries.

My advise oldguy is to be honest. Post a nice current pic of yourself... nothing from 20 years ago.. No grandkids or ex-wives in it.. ( A dog or cat is ok)..certainly nothing sexy or neked. AND be honest about your interests and most importantly your intentions. What are you looking for? Marriage.. or a serious long term... then say so. Don't pretend to be anything that you are not. Let the ladies decide if you are what they are looking for too.
 

Before turning 49 and meeting my wife, I spent years upon years in the "dating game". I've got an "outgoing" personality, so meeting ladies wasn't a problem, but meeting the right one WAS! I ended up placing a Personal Ad in a local magazine. My picture wasn't in the ad, but I told the 100% truth about my looks, age and interests. A lady could mail me a letter, by sending the letter to the company that hosted the Personal Ad area, and they would forward the letter to me. Or, they could leave a voice message that I had access to. Don't remember which way my wife contacted me, but a year later we were married.

We both ended up being extremely glad that those "looking/dating days" were over!
 
Your ad looks good enough to me. I was on that site for months then gave up with no luck at all. Only disappointment and I live in a large city.
One problem might be your location there, a small city that does not gather a lot of attention.
Remember that most people on the site and most dating sites are men not women.
And many or most of these ladies are quite picky, partly because they have so many to choose from. Partly for other reasons.
Some think that they want to find someone perfect or nearly so, otherwise they don't care waiting, forever.
Your ad looks honest and straight, Some ads are not so honest and some use very old pictures.
Be patient and wait and hope.
 
At 78 and happily married, I would be the last guy on earth to ask about that. One piece of advice, don't look for everlasting love in the bars. I drink, I have no problems with bars but they are not the place to fish for "safe" relationships (unless you are the kind who wins lotteries).
 
Oldguy, your ad looks good to me, but when you put Caucasian "Cancer" with no hair...did you mean that cancer was your astrological sign or that you had cancer? That might make a difference with someone seeking a long-term relationship.
 
The profile is nice, the bald head likely isn't a turn off, but women may blink a little when they see, over 50 and never married; just because some might think commitment issues. So try not to be offended if the question comes up quiet early, I'm pretty certain it will.
 
At 71 and happily married, I would be the next to last guy on earth to ask about that.:) In this day and age men are shaving their head and going bald! I seem to remember something about "a solar powered love machine"...but I'm not sure.:)
 
Oldguy54 said:
The dating site put the Cancer sign in for my birthday month is July.
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It just seemed like an odd place to put your sun sign, IMO. Next to no hair, really makes it look like a medical condition. If I was answering your ad, that would probably be the first thing I would ask about, and get that out of the way.
 
Oldguy54 said:
Been having a real bad time finding dates after 50 for some reason on a few dating sites on the internet. Wondering why?

Thanks.
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I found it really hard as well, first, to meet folks while out and about, and I tried some dating sites as well. I'm not saying this is true, but for me at least, I feel it's very hard to meet men my own age. I mean I never expected to be alone at this age, but life hasn't turned out the way I thought, lol;) I'm actually starting to like my singleness (it's been 18 years now) and my sis tries to show me these ads and I just say sis, I'm not into it anymore. I'm happier like I am, I can take care of myself, have some good friends so it's not a big deal for me.

I hope the best for you if you want a mate, but it seemed to me that many of the folks I met were so burnt from previous relationships, I guess what we hear like "too much baggage". I know we gain wisdom with the years so maybe we get pickier because we aren't willing to compromise so much as when we were young and "in lust" LOL!!
 
Oldguy54 said:
I thinking the blad head could be a turn off. Alot of Women love head of hair. My hairless head is a family tradition.
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Just figure you dodged a bullet if some gal sizes you up because of your hair. Some gal wrote to a guy on a forum/dating site, and told him she didn't think she could stand a bald head or something like that, lol, and this guy wrote her back and said she was shallow and he hoped she choked on a hairball, LOL! Unbelievable some of the things I've seen on dating sites;)
 
I actually met my boyfriend five years ago on Plenty of Fish. It isn't a good site for us older folk as a whole (mostly seems to be people looking to "hook-up") but I thought what the heck, it's free...I'll look around. Lo and behold, here was a guy my age, with a minimum of baggage and bad habits, looking for an old bird who wanted to go traveling. We met, hit it off and the rest is history.

Prior to that, I tried Match.com (limited luck) and Eharmony (what a hard site to work with).
 
Oldguy54 said:
I'm also on the dating site called Farmer's only and have got more contacts then POF site. But still I write and get no reply. Lady's are just so Picky when comes to men on these sites. I think they want young guys in their 30's and early 40's.
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I think Farmers Only is a real, decent site, imo. Also though, I noticed many are wanna be's, and if you really are a country guy, beware of that. I guess in life, you have to beware, period, LOL:)
 
Just before I placed my Personal Ad in that magazine, my wife had placed one in the same magazine, but I didn't see it. I was more into getting letters/reply messages (calls) than searching ads. I had already read some Personal Ads in another magazine and couldn't find one to my liking. I found out that my wife had titled her ad, "Searching For A Cowboy With A Boat". She loved Country dancing, Western clothes (including, wearing a Resistol Cowboy hat) and had gone to a few pro rodeos w/her niece, who was also into Country dancing. She also loved boating and missed it from her teen years. She got some replies from dudes that had boats, but had nothing to do with Country stuff. But, then again, we both lived in Orange County, Calif........not exactly "cowboy country", like Wyoming! So, when she seen my ad and read that I could do a great slow or fast 2-Step and Texas Swing, was involved with Pro Rodeo/Roping and knew about boats (Navy), but didn't have one, she jumped at my ad. I wound up definitely being "her cowboy" and "boatman". Been married going on 14 years this coming March.

nwlady is 100% RIGHT! I looked online at a Cowboy/Rancher type website once and seen ads about guys that had absolutely nothing to do with the cowboy lifestyle, whether it was a rodeo cowboy or ranch cowboy. It truly made me laugh. And, some of the ladies that had Personal Ads on there seemed more like "Buckle Bunnies". That is a rodeo term for ladies that only liked Country dancing and would never get around a horse or cattle. Shoot, my wife has been to livestock auctions, horse auctions, stockyards and to many, many rodeo's. She's been on a horse and looked mighty good in the saddle........if I do say so.

So, if you are on a "farmer's" type website, and you're not a farmer, or ever been one, some ladies will either not answer your reply or "call you out" about your experience being a farmer.
 
nwlady said:
I think Farmers Only is a real, decent site, imo. Also though, I noticed many are wanna be's, and if you really are a country guy, beware of that. I guess in life, you have to beware, period, LOL:)
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Thank you for the help and I will be careful also. I been on the Farmer only site and have not got or found a lady, It seems that alot of lady's want a Clark Gable types and wanting sex because some lady's are dressed sexy. The lady's want their next husband to be perfect which they will not find in their 40's and 50's. Why would a young guy in his 20's want a 50 year old for a wife?

I at one time owned a 75 acre farm before selling it in Tennessee.


Thanks too everyone for the help. :hatoff:
 
Is there a way to change your profile from "never married" to "single"? The ones I skip right over are the ones that say "never married" and "currently separated".
 


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