Accept the gift, or not? For the ladies

SifuPhil said:
I enjoyed it as well, mainly because I was right and she was wrong! :flamewar:



Thank you, Denise - I knew you wouldn't be offended by my form of insanity.



/\/\/\ This! :encouragement: Creativity is everything.

I was once going with a 30-year-old lady when I was 22 and her birthday came around. I gave her a red wheelchair festooned with balloons and a box of Depends.

We broke up that day for some reason or another, but in my heart I knew I had gifted her with a very creative present! :upset:
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Hey, I wished I'd had those Depends when I read this and pmp laughing:wink:
 

nwlady said:
Hey, I wished I'd had those Depends when I read this and pmp laughing:wink:
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Try living in my head for a while - you'll need them as well, even when you're just sitting quietly in a chair.

Shalimar said:
Hmmm. Phil, I am bemused. All this time I thought you WERE an Orc. Sigh, just another pigment of my hallucination. So many flashbacks, so little time......lol.
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Tolkien himself once described the Orcs ...

...they are (or were) squat, broad, flat-nosed, sallow-skinned, with wide mouths and slant eyes; in fact degraded and repulsive versions of the (to Europeans) least lovely Mongol-types.
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I can see how you are confused.
 
We had another date today, went to Costco for a hotdog at lunch, then out to the ghost town of Falk, walked 4 miles, came back, cooked him dinner (he ate the WHOLE thing, lol) and then I was pooped and he brought me home;) By the way, when he picked me up, he brought me a single, red rose;)

I will get the pictures up tomorrow. I only got a few, as my main camera doesn't have batteries right now, so the smart-phone was what I had;)
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One thing about you Phil. You can always be counted on to lower the tone of any conversation. That is a gift in itself. Lol. Sorry Denise, don't mean to hijack your thread. It is just sooo easy to torment Phil The Dimestore Devil...giggle.
 
Shalimar said:
One thing about you Phil. You can always be counted on to lower the tone of any conversation. That is a gift in itself. Lol. Sorry Denise, don't mean to hijack your thread. It is just sooo easy to torment Phil The Dimestore Devil...giggle.
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I love hi-jackings, the make some of the best threads, lol:)
 
Shalimar said:
Oooh, that is romantic, Denise!
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I hadn't gotten a flower, or flowers from anyone for yeeeeeeeeeears, LOL! He's thoughtful without being "smothering" so far;) I admit I love coming home to my, little space. I will put some photos up tomorrow I took, and he said I could put one of him up if I wanted to. I told him I would not do that without his permission, but he said if I wanted to ok;) I also got a pic of a yellow catapillar, and............and yellow slug!! I think the one of Bruce looks best though:confused: :lofl:He also has a good sense of humor, he'd have to to want to keep dating me, LOL!!
 
Shalimar said:
One thing about you Phil. You can always be counted on to lower the tone of any conversation. That is a gift in itself. Lol. Sorry Denise, don't mean to hijack your thread. It is just sooo easy to torment Phil The Dimestore Devil...giggle.
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As the great Hunter S. Thompson once said,

The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
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I need to let you all know that I had to break it off with Bruce. To put it simply, I began to see a real need in his life for happiness. I mean he was not happy with himself, most of all:( I talked to him each time we were together, just to share some things in my life that helped me to become "more" happy in my own skin. I know I am not perfect, and I hope no one, including Bruce would see me as thinking so.

I think that for me, I felt too much like he might be depending on me for his happiness. I know that is a red-flag for me. Maybe others see differently. Happiness may not be the exact term, but insecurity in a person gives me a red-flag. I began to feel stressed, like an unhealthy dependency on me. Things started becoming "whatever you want to do, or eat Denise" and hey, I just like someone to be sort of an equal in those decisions.

Ok, I'm sure most of you will get this, understand it, maybe not agree, but I have felt yet another load of rocks have been dropped. I love my life, I am not always happy with each thing that happens along the way, but I always end up grateful for what I have, not wishing and miserable for what I don't, hugs all, denise

PS I did give him back the gift-card. I kept the Rose;) and you ALL had such wonderful replies for me.
 
Denise, if there is anything I have learned about life it is the fact that happiness cannot be found vicariously through others until and unless we first have happiness of self from within. I learned this much about myself many, many years ago. It was only after I did some very intense soul searching that I realized I was so very unhappy with myself that I would end up making myself more miserable in the long run in the search for someone or something to make me happy. I also had the flipside of that happen to me a time or two wherein the other party was seeking their happiness from me. As far as I go personally, I feel that it is downright selfish of me to attempt to suck the happiness out of anyone, or them to do so from me. It can be most draining to have to live up to such a standard in attempting to keep TWO people happy at once. This being said, I can relate to your situation. You did what you had to do and it sounds like it was for the best. I also know that I have to "do me" before I am a beneficial to anyone else. People pleasing to such an extent is just not attractive for either partner once we reach a certain age. I know, it sounds really selfish of me, and this may certainly not be everyone's cuppa, but I just know what I have to do.
 
Sorry things worked out that way, Denise, but it's probably for the best.

As PurpleHaze so aptly put it, you can't depend on others for your happiness. That's why I've learned to tickle myself when no one else is around ...
 
Shalimar said:
Denise, you and Purple Haze sooo get it. We can't fill ourselves from the outside in. Phil can give you the Taoist view on this. It sounds a lot better than my psycho therapissed rant. Lol:eek:nthego:
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Actually they would sound about the same - remember, Jung was a huge fan of Taoism. He once said “It is not I who create myself, rather I happen to myself.”
 
PurpleHaze said:
Denise, if there is anything I have learned about life it is the fact that happiness cannot be found vicariously through others until and unless we first have happiness of self from within. I learned this much about myself many, many years ago. It was only after I did some very intense soul searching that I realized I was so very unhappy with myself that I would end up making myself more miserable in the long run in the search for someone or something to make me happy. I also had the flipside of that happen to me a time or two wherein the other party was seeking their happiness from me. As far as I go personally, I feel that it is downright selfish of me to attempt to suck the happiness out of anyone, or them to do so from me. It can be most draining to have to live up to such a standard in attempting to keep TWO people happy at once. This being said, I can relate to your situation. You did what you had to do and it sounds like it was for the best. I also know that I have to "do me" before I am a beneficial to anyone else. People pleasing to such an extent is just not attractive for either partner once we reach a certain age. I know, it sounds really selfish of me, and this may certainly not be everyone's cuppa, but I just know what I have to do.
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I so loved reading this ph;) You are right on, and I think we may have attended some of the same "schooling" lol!! So happy to meet you, denise
 
SifuPhil said:
Sorry things worked out that way, Denise, but it's probably for the best.

As PurpleHaze so aptly put it, you can't depend on others for your happiness. That's why I've learned to tickle myself when no one else is around ...
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Thank you Phil, and, um, ok, yes, that's all I can say right now So I'll just say, here's your sign::fun:
 
Shalimar said:
Denise, you and Purple Haze sooo get it. We can't fill ourselves from the outside in. Phil can give you the Taoist view on this. It sounds a lot better than my psycho therapissed rant. Lol:eek:nthego:
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Yes, it's very cool to be able to not let outside circumstances delegate inner peace. I am way not perfect, but progress is good enough for me, without expecting to (or trying to) ever be perfect;)
 
Warrigal said:
The important thing, Denise, is that you are in control and making decisions for yourself.
Be confident that you have made a good decision. Don't look back.
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I think so as well Dame:) I feel sure of it in fact. I also learned some things which is what dating is really about right??
 
and you never know, he may have been the lucky one, LOL!! Here I was planning to make my famous "mushroom soup" for him. My momma before me taught me goooood;)
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