The Cheeky Friendly Banter Thread!
- Thread starter boozercruiser
- Start date
boozercruiser
Senior Member
- Location
- Rhos On Sea. North Wales. UK.
)
Pappy
Living the Dream
- Location
- Florida (transplanted New Yorker.)
boozercruiser
Senior Member
- Location
- Rhos On Sea. North Wales. UK.
Grumpy Ol' Man
Senior Member
- Location
- Kansas, U.S.
boozercruiser
Senior Member
- Location
- Rhos On Sea. North Wales. UK.
Whip me, whip me!!
Fred and Fiona were making passionate love in Fred's Transit van when suddenly Fiona ( being a bit on the kinky side) yells out: "Oh, fat boy, whip me, whip me!" Fred, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opened the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Fiona until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy. About a week later, Fiona notices that the marks left by the whipping session are not healing and starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks: "Did you get these marks having sex?" Fiona a little too embarrassed that she had even slept with Fred let alone allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires, eventually admits that, "Yes, I did." Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims: "I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen!  |
Pappy
Living the Dream
- Location
- Florida (transplanted New Yorker.)
Boozer.......:clap::clap:
Pappy
Living the Dream
- Location
- Florida (transplanted New Yorker.)
boozercruiser
Senior Member
- Location
- Rhos On Sea. North Wales. UK.
Thank you Shirley.
And there's more!
| MEDICAL UPDATE Remember this the next time you have major surgery and need a blood transfusion! This is good to know. MEDICAL ALERT It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better. Just thought you'd like to know. BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO ARE CRACKED, FOR THEY ARE THE ONES WHO LET IN THE LIGHT! Okay, I'll be taken back to the home now. layful: |
Pookie
Crazy Cat Lady
- Location
- Western NC
Shalimar
SF VIP
- Location
- Vancouver Island Canada
Pookie, sooo funny!
Pappy
Living the Dream
- Location
- Florida (transplanted New Yorker.)
boozercruiser
Senior Member
- Location
- Rhos On Sea. North Wales. UK.
boozercruiser
Senior Member
- Location
- Rhos On Sea. North Wales. UK.
" Morning Sex "
So there my Missus was this morning, standing in the kitchen, preparing my usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly,
"You've got to make mad passionate love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or
this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment,
I embraced her and then Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen
table.
Afterwards she said to me, "Thank you darling" and returned to the stove,
her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about my Love?"
She explained, "the egg timers broken Dear" !!!
So there my Missus was this morning, standing in the kitchen, preparing my usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly,
"You've got to make mad passionate love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or
this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment,
I embraced her and then Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen
table.
Afterwards she said to me, "Thank you darling" and returned to the stove,
her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about my Love?"
She explained, "the egg timers broken Dear" !!!
Falcon
DV8
- Location
- So. California
How do you like being the 3 minute egg timer, Boozer? You wanna do it every morning BEFORE breakfast? LOL
Pookie
Crazy Cat Lady
- Location
- Western NC
Ouch! Good advice.
boozercruiser
Senior Member
- Location
- Rhos On Sea. North Wales. UK.
Why not Falcon?
That is EGGSACTLY what I want!
layful:Now then Guys, I reckon that this is the Gods honest truth!....
boozercruiser
Senior Member
- Location
- Rhos On Sea. North Wales. UK.
This chap has warmed the cockles of my heart, and could easily be my mentor.
He says...
He says...
"It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling. I do it every day and I really enjoy it."
Read on...
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.
Harold Schlumberg is such a person:
"I'm often asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?'
"Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical/pharmaceutical background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whisky into urine".
"It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling. I do it every day and I really enjoy it."
Pookie
Crazy Cat Lady
- Location
- Western NC
Pookie
Crazy Cat Lady
- Location
- Western NC
LOL!!!!
The town drunk was sitting on a sidewalk with his back up against the wall of a three-story, flat-roofed building which housed the local brothel.
A well-dressed man stepped around him, went inside, and walked up to the madam.
"I'd like to have your best girl," he said.
"Okay," said the madam, "but it's gonna cost you."
"Money is no object to me," he assured her. "And I want to partake of her pleasures on the roof."
The madam gasped. "Son, that's REALLY gonna cost you!"
"As I indicated, madam, money is no object to me," he repeated.
They settle on a price, the man takes the girl up on the roof. They start rolling around and around, having a good old time up there, when suddenly they get carried away. They roll right off the roof and land right smack in front of the town drunk on the sidewalk.
The drunk looks at them, looks up at the roof, looks at them again, looks back up at the roof. He gets up and staggers into the building and up to the madam.
"Hey, lady, your sign just fell down."
The town drunk was sitting on a sidewalk with his back up against the wall of a three-story, flat-roofed building which housed the local brothel.
A well-dressed man stepped around him, went inside, and walked up to the madam.
"I'd like to have your best girl," he said.
"Okay," said the madam, "but it's gonna cost you."
"Money is no object to me," he assured her. "And I want to partake of her pleasures on the roof."
The madam gasped. "Son, that's REALLY gonna cost you!"
"As I indicated, madam, money is no object to me," he repeated.
They settle on a price, the man takes the girl up on the roof. They start rolling around and around, having a good old time up there, when suddenly they get carried away. They roll right off the roof and land right smack in front of the town drunk on the sidewalk.
The drunk looks at them, looks up at the roof, looks at them again, looks back up at the roof. He gets up and staggers into the building and up to the madam.
"Hey, lady, your sign just fell down."
boozercruiser
Senior Member
- Location
- Rhos On Sea. North Wales. UK.
LOL.
That's a cracker Pookie
That's a cracker Pookie
Now then Pookie. Have you ever considered the Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 or even 70!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask. "Did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 5 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
21. You can't remember your dog's name, but when you need her, you rattle the treat jar.
22. You consider walking farts "controlled emissions."
23. The last time anyone checked your ID, they asked for your AARP card.
24. Your sense of humour, as well as your boobs, have sunk to new lows.
Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
And a word to the wise: Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night !
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask. "Did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 5 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
21. You can't remember your dog's name, but when you need her, you rattle the treat jar.
22. You consider walking farts "controlled emissions."
23. The last time anyone checked your ID, they asked for your AARP card.
24. Your sense of humour, as well as your boobs, have sunk to new lows.
Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
And a word to the wise: Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night !
Last edited:
Pookie
Crazy Cat Lady
- Location
- Western NC
HAHAHAHA! Boozercruiser!
Add:
You can't remember your dog's name, but when you need her, you rattle the treat jar.
You consider walking farts "controlled emissions."
The last time anyone checked your ID, they asked for your AARP card.
Your sense of humor, as well as your boobs, have sunk to new lows.
I'll come up with more....
Add:
You can't remember your dog's name, but when you need her, you rattle the treat jar.
You consider walking farts "controlled emissions."
The last time anyone checked your ID, they asked for your AARP card.
Your sense of humor, as well as your boobs, have sunk to new lows.
I'll come up with more....
Grumpy Ol' Man
Senior Member
- Location
- Kansas, U.S.
