Single By Choice , Single By Chance?

CindyLouWho

CindyLouWho

Senior Member
Location
USA
Are you single because of a deliberate choice you've made or by mere happenstance?
 

I'm not single... but after the divorce from my first husband I was sooo put off by the idea of marriage I chose to stay single for 18 years despite proposals...rather than go through the hell of marriage again... I finally gave in... and now been married 17 years almost
 
Single By Choice , Single By Chance?

A little of both. Good luck and bad timing got me through the danger period, when it seems you aren't thinking straight (i.e., in school). :playful:

After that, I was actually interested in the job I had, fewer contacts with people, got more apprehensive about the whole idea of marriage in general, and being alone never scared me. (Only child syndrome?)

I agree with this...

Aunt Bea said:
...Being single is much better, for me, than sharing my life with the wrong person.
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I’m single by choice, I don’t have the interest or patience to get involved with anybody at this stage in my life
 
Divorced 45 years...No desire to re-marry. Most of the women I met over the years came with a whole lotta-baggage. Other men's kids, I never was attracted to a ready made family. As I aged the "baggage" changed / expanded.....those kids moved back in with mom...and brought their kids...:)
 
Wren said:
I’m single by choice, I don’t have the interest or patience to get involved with anybody at this stage in my life
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I got into a terrible marriage when I was young. When I got divorced, I swore I would never make that mistake again.

Now I tell my friends I don't want anyone coming into my house, planting his fanny on my sofa and asking what I'm making for his dinner. I can't believe I ever let anyone get by with that. At the senior center where I do tai chi, there are quite a few single guys who hit on every new woman who walks in the door. I asked one of the women who's been there for a while what that was about -- they want someone to cook and clean for them. No thanks. Able-bodied adults need to do those things for themselves.
 
If my spouse goes before I do..then I will stay single by choice. Heck, I already feel single now. Have my own bedroom, do my own thang, go where I want when I want. However, I still cook for him now and then since he is so totally helpless (eye roll), and when I get sick, I am on my own. I can do that single, too, so why have a spouse? Because he is my best friend. And that's it!! I was hoping he would tire of my celibacy..alas...he hasn't. Where would he find another woman to do his laundry, house cleaning and cooking?
 
I'm happily married for over forty years, but if my husband passes before I do, I will be single by choice also. I doubt I would want any kind of romantic relationship with anyone else, rather be on my own.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I'm happily married for over forty years, but if my wife passes before I do, I will be single by choice also. I wouldn't want any kind of romantic relationship with anyone else, rather be on my own.
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I changed a couple of words above to suit me but that's exactly the same way I feel also.
 
CindyLouWho said:
Are you single because of a deliberate choice you've made or by mere happenstance?
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My wife died after 28 years of marriage and I am either too lazy and/or too ugly to burden another woman with my eclectic way of life.
Then again it could be after 14 years living alone in an off-grid cabin in the far North of Alaska
I am just too set in my ways?

P1020622.jpg
Here we see my children visiting me near my home in Alaska
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I'm kind of both. When I look back at my childhood, I can't recall ever being hugged. But I'm quite happy being alone. It doesn't bother me. Whether that's who I am, or how I was brought up, today, it doesn't matter.
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I was never really hugged either, and no one ever said "I love you." Guess that's how things were for a lot of people. But here's a hug for you now, from me.

internethug.jpg
 
I was married for nearly 54 years, have been widowed for 7. I have no desire to remarry, and am reasonably contented with my singlehood. I have a loving family and lots of friends, which is all I need at this stage of life.
 
I've been single over 20 years now. I was married 4 times, but only a total of 6 years. I tell folks my picker was/is broke, but the men in my life had broken pickers too. Neither party got a bargain. I didn't know how to "do" marriage. I couldn't cook when I left home (at least I didn't know how) I didn't have a desire for family (children), I didn't know what to do for vocation/career, I was lost. I wanted the "fairytale" and believed it was "out there", I just had to find the "right" man.

What I learned was, that I have to be happy within myself, not expect someone else to do the job for me. I believe now, happy, and secure attracts happy and secure, someone that doesn't "need", but wants a relationship. Being human, it is nice to know someone excepts you warts and all. My biggest problem was always looking at the other person's faults, instead of working on my own.

I believe I haven't met anyone because I don't want to deal with it now, a sharing relationship because I've gotten too, damn selfish. I also think I am afraid the same things would still happen. So I stay alone. I won't say I am happy, and content being alone, but most of the time, I can make the best of it;)

I'm see on this thread lots of singles, for one reason or another. At least we aren't "alone" in that situation. It's good to have folks that understand what it is to be single, especially single at our age. Denise
 
Denise, I understand what you are saying and I'm grateful, as well, to be able to be on this forum. I know we have to make the best of the situation we are in,believe me, but, for me, I don't want to keep "making the best of it", forever and be content with that. I have to keep hoping that there has to be more around the bend, a purpose, a reason, an answer to why I am "here".
Controversial as he may be to some, I listen to Joel Osteen sometimes, I consider him more of a motivational speaker............and I feel a little better after listening to him. Whatever works!:)
 
LMBO, but wait, we used to call those "young" boyfriends that date, older, rich women, Gigolos;)

Edit: this refers to Ken in Texas' joke above, sorry, should have quoted it. It's #18 on thread.
 
CindyLouWho said:
Denise, I understand what you are saying and I'm grateful, as well, to be able to be on this forum. I know we have to make the best of the situation we are in,believe me, but, for me, I don't want to keep "making the best of it", forever and be content with that. I have to keep hoping that there has to be more around the bend, a purpose, a reason, an answer to why I am "here".
Controversial as he may be to some, I listen to Joel Osteen sometimes, I consider him more of a motivational speaker............and I feel a little better after listening to him. Whatever works!:)
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I do hope for "something" more than I have, I don't think age changes our heart's desire to have someone in our lives:) I'm just willing to accept things the way they are because it brings me more happiness than longing for what I don't have.
 


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