81-yr-old man has sex with a shrub!

[Cookie]

Use, again, of a term offensive to an entire large group of folks. See how easy it is to go astray? imp

Here's a bush that needs to be pruned back.

 

[SifuPhil]

Phil, one of your green children???

Yes, one of many. Did I show you our nursery?

 

[Falcon]

Hey, "Any port in a storm" !

 

[SifuPhil]

Hey, "Any port in a storm" !

Or, obviously for this guy, "any shrub on the lawn".

 

[Shalimar]

I dunno, Phil, I seem to be having difficulty keeping on board with all these new developments....

 

[Shalimar]

Also, one must guard against becoming a stick-in-the-mud.

 

[Falcon]

He thought he saw a beaver in there.

 

[QuickSilver]

WTF??? please... explain to me HOW one has sex with a plant... Doesn't it scratch?

 

[imp]

WTF??? please... explain to me HOW one has sex with a plant... Doesn't it scratch?

You would use a pussy-willow! imp

 

[Shalimar]

Perhaps that's the appeal? S&M organics????

 

[mitchezz]

You are all so cruel. I am sure by now he is quite forlawn.

 

[Falcon]

HMMMMMM. Wonder if Home Depot's garden shop is still open.

 

[QuickSilver]

Unless it's an ALoe plant... seems to me lubrication would be lacking.

 

[Falcon]

There's always WD-40.

 

[Pappy]

He heard that the bushes were covered in Miracle-Gro.

 

[Shalimar]

Pappy, hahahahaha!

 

[Underock1]

View attachment 19982

:applause2:

 

[Debby]

With the thread "75 is long enough to live?" still active, having sex with your lawn shrubs at 81 may validate that suggestion!

He had probably just listened to a tirade on Faux Noise about how all regulations having to do with clean air and water were "gubmint overreach". When the commentator said, "If you're a Great American, screw the environment!" He took it literally!

Many people talk to their plants. Some may even lightly stroke their leaves. Only a few take their "love" of plants to the point of consummating that love in public.

"Well, after mistaking a bottle of ****** for my blood pressure medicine I could either plow the garden or trim the hedge. I chose the hedge!"

Your comment is so funny, first chuckle of the day! Thanks Grumpy.

 

[QuickSilver]

WEll.... I'd much rather old fools screw trees than animals... It just crossed my FB page about an old man in Birmingham Alabama caught having sex with a pig in a Walmart bathroom. Sick and disgusting..

 

[SifuPhil]

It is sick and disgusting!

Everyone knows that sex with a pig is MUCH better at Target!

 

[Sunny]

I just have to add that this is the funniest thread I have ever seen, anywhere!

 

[Shirley]

I'm wondering how he got a live pig into Walmart and into the bathroom.

 

[QuickSilver]

I'm wondering how he got a live pig into Walmart and into the bathroom.

According to the article.. surveillance cameras caught him sneaking in the loading dock carrying the pig.. Here's the story.

http://now8news.com/alabama-man-caught-having-sex-with-pig-in-walmart-bathroom/

 

[Shalimar]

A whole new dimension to the word pork....

 

[Pappy]

Never tell a pig a secret.........they'll squeal on you every time. Bada boom.