afraid to try to have a long-term relationship with a fella

You never know until you try.

Really though...I lived at home, then first husband and multiple cats, then son and multiple cats, then second hubby and love of my life and several cats and eventually five kids, briefly me and three kids and multiple cats, back to hubby with three kids multiple cats and dog, minus one kid add another dog, hubby and two dogs five cats and a pack of rats. If I can use the bathroom alone I'm good.

LOL!

Okay, I see one constant in all of that - furkids. Makes you think, doesn't it? ;)

Critters are nice and all - I know people that totally give their lives over to them - but to me they'll never replace the touch or the mind of a woman. Critters to me are like using a toothpick when you're starving - yes, it gives your mouth something to do but it doesn't provide nourishment.
 

add another dog, hubby and two dogs five cats and a pack of rats...and still two kids living at home.

I know exactly what you're saying Philly, a warm cat or dog is sweet. But another warm human who understands you, nothing like it. Then it's time to push the fur kids out of bed and have some quiet time:)
 
I agree with Phil too. Be open to new possibilities but always consider the problems just around the corner, particularly the health problems.
I would not be too keen on facing serious ill health of a partner, including strokes and dementia, unless that person was very special indeed.

Well some things just work themselves out without raising a finger, and my situation did. This guy moves too fast for me, period. I seem to meet fellas that are too needy, or something?? Beats me, but I had to tell him that I was not into anything other than yackin on the phone a little. I mean I don't know you at all and you are speculating on me moving in with you!!!!!!!! I'm not even sad, and I'm not depressed because I feel so grateful I live so far away from this guy. I'm so grateful, once again, to have my own, safe, little home:)
 

Just want to chime in here, as one of the ones where the second time around has lasted--so far at least. :laugh: I was married, had two little ones and split in 1974. I was alone 20 years (albeit as single mom with kids). When they were in junior high school I (we) lived with someone for six months until he showed his dark side and I packed up and left. A few years later I met someone very different from any guy I'd ever gone with--truly a "nice" guy who treats women with respect. We have been together 21 years. We're older now and while he may not be the most exciting man I've know, we have a pretty good deal going.

It sounds like your mind is racing ahead with "what ifs." Staying in the present is hard to do but it will save you a lot of turmoil. If you go out with him for dinner or whatever, focus on the meal, the company and enjoy some reminiscing. Listen to your gut and you will know how it feels to you inside. That's what counts. At the end of the evening, at the least you will hopefully have been given another pleasant memory. You are then free to do what feels right to you--maybe going out again, maybe saying it was fun but not something I want to repeat. Trust in yourself. You ARE your best friend.

Best wishes
 
Then learn from mistakes. One guy I met...I thought oh yes this will work out. A He was waiting for his Ex to come waltzing in any minute B He was so full of himself that he thought he was doing me a favor...Dwarf hillbilly with a real dis-like of women does it get worse than that? Oh he hated cats too. May he burn in Hell or whatever cock-eyed Christianity he believed in.

Never again Holy Grist
 
I love animals, pine if I don't have them. It isn't a home. They are family. Need plants also. Love my kids. Do I need a man? No, but my life would be greatly enriched by sharing love with the right one.
 
there used to be a book out there in the 90s -- 'Men are Just Desserts'. And Gloria Steinem says "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle".

I agree Shali, animals, plants, our children, make life full. A few nice men are the icing on the cake of life.
 
he That's it but hubby will curse these cats. Jesu grist so...but buy the biggest catty yum yum bag for them? Yes he wil treat them when the dogs are upstairs.
 
Neesy, it looks like, here, to me anyway, that all nice ladies and one nice ladies' man are evaluating your situation.

So, here's the IMPlicity conclusions...........

You are in your new place only a week, and feel unsure about that, a bit.

You are feeling deep down inside like age 18 again.

Go for it for a spell; if long-term results are likely to flourish, they will take care of things themselves, not to worry. If short-term results are looking likely to not fluorish into long-term ones, they, too, will take care of themselves.

Straight from the wishing well, you can believe an imp!
 
there used to be a book out there in the 90s -- 'Men are Just Desserts'. And Gloria Steinem says "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle".

I agree Shali, animals, plants, our children, make life full. A few nice men are the icing on the cake of life.

So ... I'm just ... *sniff* ... icing? :(

funny-cake-message-strawberry-icing.jpg
 
"Just Desserts"

Women who marry solely for money get their just desserts. That's today's attempt at humor.

Denise, aren't you glad you got that one figured out before you drove all that way? If you'd gone up there, you'd have figured it out then, but this way you've saved yourself a whale of a lot of driving, not to mention $$ for gas! Now you can use that $$ for something for your new place or a treat for dinner or or or...anydarnedthing you like!
 
Gee, Phil, doesn't everyone agree that icing is very very good, a welcome addition to a cake, without which it would be just a slab of crummy crumbs. Today would be a good day to have a slice of yummy cake with some delicious coffee. I'm away to bake it now, with icing of course.
 
Gee, Phil, doesn't everyone agree that icing is very very good, a welcome addition to a cake, without which it would be just a slab of crummy crumbs. Today would be a good day to have a slice of yummy cake with some delicious coffee. I'm away to bake it now, with icing of course.

Yes, but it's an afterthought - it's the weathervane on top of the cupola. It doesn't really contribute anything except excess. It doesn't provide a firm foundation. Without the cake it would be laying in a gooey puddle on the floor. It's an option.

Do you like muffins? Are they good for you? Do they provide nutrition?

Do they have icing?

See? They're just little cakes without icing.
 
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Cookie, what kind of cake are you baking? And when will it be ready? I like ooey gooey frosting, and I really like a piece of cake in mid-afternoon along with a cup of fresh coffee. If I get on my broom right now, I can probably be there around 3:30. Is that a good time?
 
I agree with Phil too. Be open to new possibilities but always consider the problems just around the corner, particularly the health problems.
I would not be too keen on facing serious ill health of a partner, including strokes and dementia, unless that person was very special indeed.

Taking that on in later years (new relationship) would be most likely, impossible for me to handle. If I had lived with, and loved someone for many years, it would be difficult, to see someone you love ill, and even getting worse:( But for me I hope I would be a wonderful care-giver, I would want to be like my sister-in-law who has stuck by my brother through thick and thin. He is bed-ridden, paralyzed from the chest down, but she has done things to care and love him, none of us would have believed, or been able to handle ourselves. She is exceptional.
 
I agree with Phil too. Be open to new possibilities but always consider the problems just around the corner, particularly the health problems.
I would not be too keen on facing serious ill health of a partner, including strokes and dementia, unless that person was very special indeed.

I did reply to this, oopsee, but thanks again, and I do agree with both you and Phil;)


Just want to chime in here, as one of the ones where the second time around has lasted--so far at least. :laugh: I was married, had two little ones and split in 1974. I was alone 20 years (albeit as single mom with kids). When they were in junior high school I (we) lived with someone for six months until he showed his dark side and I packed up and left. A few years later I met someone very different from any guy I'd ever gone with--truly a "nice" guy who treats women with respect. We have been together 21 years. We're older now and while he may not be the most exciting man I've know, we have a pretty good deal going.

It sounds like your mind is racing ahead with "what ifs." Staying in the present is hard to do but it will save you a lot of turmoil. If you go out with him for dinner or whatever, focus on the meal, the company and enjoy some reminiscing. Listen to your gut and you will know how it feels to you inside. That's what counts. At the end of the evening, at the least you will hopefully have been given another pleasant memory. You are then free to do what feels right to you--maybe going out again, maybe saying it was fun but not something I want to repeat. Trust in yourself. You ARE your best friend.

Best wishes
Thank Jnos;) Yes, those what ifs can spoil things;) I'm glad it didn't work out for now, probably never would. I just have a totally different take on a relationship, and that means finding someone that doesn't have an unhealthy dependency on a mate (possible mate at that, geesh)

Neesy, it looks like, here, to me anyway, that all nice ladies and one nice ladies' man are evaluating your situation.

So, here's the IMPlicity conclusions...........

You are in your new place only a week, and feel unsure about that, a bit.

You are feeling deep down inside like age 18 again.

Go for it for a spell; if long-term results are likely to flourish, they will take care of things themselves, not to worry. If short-term results are looking likely to not fluorish into long-term ones, they, too, will take care of themselves.

Straight from the wishing well, you can believe an imp!
Well said and thank you Imp, I like your imp'licity;) Things have a way of working out for the best if I just don't try and figure it out myself, lol;)

Denise,don't be afraid to live and feel.just remember your worth. :)
Ok vicky;) If I am to meet a fella, he will come along, and things will go a bit smoother (ok, a lot smoother) and he won't be in such a hurry. Dating is all I would care to do;) If it led to more, making out up on lover's lane etc., then we would take it a step further, maybe. And maybe just "sucking face" (from On Golden Pond, lol) may be enough for the both of us, :kiss-tongue:

So ... I'm just ... *sniff* ... icing? :(

View attachment 25760
Love this cake!! LOL:) yummy!!

"Just Desserts"

Women who marry solely for money get their just desserts. That's today's attempt at humor.

Denise, aren't you glad you got that one figured out before you drove all that way? If you'd gone up there, you'd have figured it out then, but this way you've saved yourself a whale of a lot of driving, not to mention $$ for gas! Now you can use that $$ for something for your new place or a treat for dinner or or or...anydarnedthing you like!

Yes Georgia, I didn't even want to attempt a trip now after moving, and he had a problem with me not coming up. So that tells me he isn't very considerate or thoughtful;) hugs, denise
 
Some on here have suggested you get a pet. I sure wouldn't if I were you. If you have much traveling in your future or maybe a sleep over on someone's couch or even moving to a place that doesn't allow pets, it can be a big problem. After you've been settled for at lest a year and KNOW you want to stay there longer, than maybe consider a pet. They are a huge responsibility. For those who love pets and can't live without them, pets are fine. I don't think you are one of those people or you'd already have a dog or something. I know I'm sure not happy when someone visits us and has a pet with them. It can cause all sorts of problems.
 
Yes, but it's an afterthought - it's the weathervane on top of the cupola. It doesn't really contribute anything except excess. It doesn't provide a firm foundation. Without the cake it would be laying in a gooey puddle on the floor. It's an option.

Do you like muffins? Are they good for you? Do they provide nutrition?

Do they have icing?

See? They're just little cakes without icing.

I am the cake or banana bread, or cupcake, or muffin, cookie or loaf of wholewheat bread. Anything you add to it (sandwich fixings, mayo, icing, jam, etc. etc.) So I am the cake and my partner, friends, etc. are the icing/sandwich fillings. Or in the case of cookies, perhaps men are the chocolate chips? Just a little metaphor, don't mean anything by it...

Some women are so overly dependent on men for their identities that for them the man is the bread and they are not even icing, more like old stale margarine. I would like to turn it around a bit and put the focus back on me --- to see men/relationships romance, etc. as a 'treat', rather than what gives me life and a reason for living.
 
Georgia, I think this calls for chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. And lots of hot strong coffee. I'm off to the kitchen.
 
Some on here have suggested you get a pet. I sure wouldn't if I were you. If you have much traveling in your future or maybe a sleep over on someone's couch or even moving to a place that doesn't allow pets, it can be a big problem. After you've been settled for at lest a year and KNOW you want to stay there longer, than maybe consider a pet. They are a huge responsibility. For those who love pets and can't live without them, pets are fine. I don't think you are one of those people or you'd already have a dog or something. I know I'm sure not happy when someone visits us and has a pet with them. It can cause all sorts of problems.

I can't agree more Linda. I learned the responsibility, not just how cute, cuddly, and how joy they bring me, but yes, the responsibility to provide ALL they need. I want to be sure I have all my next pet needs before I get another to love:) I think being somewhere a year is excellent, in knowing if I am settled enough;) I do have a year lease here, so that may be the start for me, leaving my gypsy, life-style;) (or otherwise known as, staying put, giving myself a chance to have a real home) ;) denise
 
Yeah critters can be deal breakers. I knew someone who hooked up with this guy. He had a fat spoiled dog. The dog liked her and all was well. Then they considered moving in together. She had three cats and this guy drops the bomb he would only be comfortable with ONE cat in the house. She told him where to go and that was the end of that.
 


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