Am I The Only One Who Doesn't Have, Or Want, Grandchildren?

horseless carriage said:
Having children comes with a set of responsibilities, including providing love, care, and guidance. If the primary motivation is support in old age, it may suggest a transactional view of parenthood that could overlook the emotional and developmental needs of the child.
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Be that above rigjt or wrong, the question remains. Who will look out for them, advocate for them when they are old, not mentally sharp, and perhaps somewhat disabled?
 
officerripley said:
I've noticed that a lot too.
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one of my neighbours was a case in point. when her kids were growing up, she never seemed to speak to them without screaming, it was a constant strwam of screaming at an shouting at them...really awful... but to outsiders she acted the perfect mother , so when I told them how she was at home no-one believed me..

Now her kids have kids... and she acts like those kids were born to the virgin Mary..not one raised voice ever since they've been born... and they're in their teens.....and it never fails to astound me that her kids think the sun shines out of her backside, despite all the abuse she meted out to them daily until they were adults..
 
I love my grandchildren, but I only get to see them online. They live in Hawaii and I live in Florida. I really don’t like taking a 11 hour flight anymore and my son seldom brings his family this far east. My grandson calls me every week, which is more than my son. We all get along really well, but my son thinks his career is more important than family. I don’t know where that came from, other than a love of money.
 
There are many couples/individuals who don’t want grandchildren. Raising kids is a lot of work and does take a lot out of you. I can see people being happy from both ends of the spectrum – those who have grandkids almost all say it is a very rewarding experience. Then there are those who don’t want grandchildren – who may think – this is now my time and I want to live a child-free lifestyle. They may have plans for travel or plans to expand their interests. Either way is up to an individual and they should not be labelled in a negative way.
 
astralcat said:
There are many couples/individuals who don’t want grandchildren. Raising kids is a lot of work and does take a lot out of you. I can see people being happy from both ends of the spectrum – those who have grandkids almost all say it is a very rewarding experience. Then there are those who don’t want grandchildren – who may think – this is now my time and I want to live a child-free lifestyle. They may have plans for travel or plans to expand their interests. Either way is up to an individual and they should not be labelled in a negative way.
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It would be far worse for me to have children and grandchildren that for one reason or another refused to advocate for me or didn’t want me in their lives.

IMO people shouldn’t be bullied into having children that they may not be in a position to love and support.

There are plenty of children in the world that need the love and support of an older adult.

We should all be content to accept our situation and do what we can with what we have.
 
I don't have and never will have any grandchildren. It seems that a fair number of grandparents end up raising their grandchildren because of drugs, alcohol or other problems. A friend of mine (once she retired) fostered babies of substance abuse mothers until the moms got straight. I thought that was admirable but I couldn't do that. Her condo was second floor so she had to give it up as she aged.
 
My youngest son and his wife have three children I will see them tomorrow for a Memorial Day dinner. My oldest son and his wife have four, they are adopted and three are severely disabled. I saw them last month on Easter Sunday. Can't say I'm unhappy they are all in my life. I keep in touch through Snapchat. They are doing a good job raising their children and I have no complaints.
 
Hubby and I had our two children in our early 20s. I found it hard at times but was determined to raise both safely to adulthood while at the same time granting them childhood freedoms that matched their maturity at each stage. There were times when I regretted being married but never once did I regret having children.

Consequentially I became a grandmother at just 44 yo. Never did I try to usurp my daughter's mother role. I told her that I would always be her mother, never the mother of her children. My role was to support her as she needed me to. I made the same promise to my daughter in law. All in all I have 6 adult grandchildren. All are partnered and one has two young children, making me a great grandmother.

Had I not become pregnant, and married so early, I might never have married at all. I might have been a spinster aunt, living a totally different life.

Either way, I would probably have found fulfilment, but not necessarily in the same places.
 
dilettante said:
I find this creepy and disturbing. I had 3 kids but only one has a child himself. It bothers me because there is no higher purpose in life.

Excuses seem to boil down to a mix between child intolerance and selfish inclination. Biologically there isn't supposed to be a choice, and "choice" may well be the end of us all.

Elon Musk Predicts POPULATION COLLAPSE And Its HAPPENING NOW, Society Is Beginning To BREAKDOWN

"Civilization will die with a whimper in adult diapers."
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There are 8.2 billion people alive now. I can remember it being 3 and a half billion. It passed four bn in 1975 and 6 bn in 1997. That's literally doubled in population in our lifetimes. When some people refer to population collapse I suspect they mean the white population, or that of 'developed' nations. They want to close the borders to immigration and then wonder why they can't get a workforce because everyone is ageing out.
 
dilettante said:
I find this creepy and disturbing. I had 3 kids but only one has a child himself. It bothers me because there is no higher purpose in life.

Excuses seem to boil down to a mix between child intolerance and selfish inclination. Biologically there isn't supposed to be a choice, and "choice" may well be the end of us all.

Elon Musk Predicts POPULATION COLLAPSE And Its HAPPENING NOW, Society Is Beginning To BREAKDOWN

"Civilization will die with a whimper in adult diapers."
Click to expand...

That is absurd. The pressure from human population is still so high that every other species is threatened with extinction. Our planet is so awash with our garbage and other waste products that nature itself is being threatened. In human cultures there is so little concern for others that I share with others relief at never having had a child myself to go forth in such troubled times.
 
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One of my neighbor's sons used his wife to increase the population by 10. The guy was a terror as a kid and the grandparents have and are raising his children. The grandparents were lousy parents, so there is no hope for their grandchildren to be decent citizens.

Their dad is the local drug lord which is no surprise. No, they are white in case you are thinking otherwise. I live in rural south central PA where almost everyone is white and racist. I say almost because a mixed race couple moved in down the road. My heart goes out to them with the drug lord's tribe living nearby.

The moral of this story is: There is nothing wrong with your children deciding not to have children of their own, because we, out here in Knothole PA are taking up the slack. Oh I wish I were kidding.
 
On reading our posts and opinions on this subject, I've noticed that those who have them are happy to have their grandchildren, which makes sense. What surprised me is that almost everyone who does not have grandchildren is perfectly content with that as well.

If I'm correct, I don't remember anyone who doesn't have grandchildren saying they really wish they did. People without grandchildren seem just as content as those who have them.

I'm heartened by this as I was truly wondering if I was odd in this way. Seems not. :)

I'm happy for those of you enjoying your grandchildren and happy for those of us who are content not to have them.

This has been an enlightening thread. Thanks, you guys. :)
 

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