My 10 year old grandchild is uncomfortable with their gender and has been for a long time. There have been indications since they were 2 years old, and those leanings have become more obvious as they’ve grown, and they have been more and more verbal about the discomfort. Their parents (my daughter and son in law) have neither encouraged nor discouraged their child, they’ve just made themselves safe to communicate to, compassionate their child’s struggles, and fully supportive of their child’s right to choose. As have I.
The child recently told their parents that their pronouns were now she/her, and that’s the way she wanted to be referred to. And wanted changes to her wardrobe because she was extremely uncomfortable with the clothing choices available to her. None were obviously gender specific because she had never wanted typically male clothing.
We all went on a shopping trip together, and I was deeply affected by the joy in this child’s whole being when she was able to shop in the girls department. She herself was crying with joy and happiness. It was profoundly moving. She chose nothing decidedly feminine, but the cut of the clothing was different, leggings instead of shorts, cute overalls with a star appliqué instead of jeans, that kind of thing.
Her parents found an amazing therapist and my grandchild is attending therapy every other week. So far she has no interest in body modification, she just wants to be able to express herself by making choices in a manner reflective of who she feels she is.
I’m crying as I write this. This beautiful person is being given freedoms and choices, is able to fully express herself in a manner consistent with her innermost self, and is supported and encouraged to reach her full potential. So many are not. They are ridiculed, scorned, forced into an ill fitting mold in order to be accepted, and live their lives in misery.
I am grateful beyond measure that my grandchild isn’t one of them. She is very aware of the struggles that lay ahead for her, is realistic about how her choices can impact the way she’s treated and that they may well change as she moves into puberty and then adulthood, but she has a strong supportive family, wonderful accepting friends, and competent therapeutic support so that hopefully her journey will be more positive than negative and she can maintain her joyful, generous and loving spirit.