Do other childless people here get unsolicited sympathy for the fact? Well meaning old dears tchtching and saying "how sad, I don't know what I'd do without my kids and grandkids" and/or, "what a shame to be alone when you get old".... aaaagh ! The temptation to 'shred' them has to be hammered down.
They are usually the same old dears who whinge about being lumbered with the grandkids who wreaked havoc in their gardens, left their houses trashed and drove them to the medicine cabinet in desperation.
Perhaps they live the fantasy of being the Earth Mother, borne aloft in adoration by her effusively grateful offspring. That's very seldom the case.
I'm sitting here rummaging through the memories of many, many aging mothers I've known who have been left every bit as 'abandoned' and isolated as I am. Except I have no bitterness about my chosen lot, they do. Big time.
My sympathy goes to those who dedicated their lives to ungrateful b*****ds of kids who left home and forgot about them when they didn't need them any more. Who found them too embarrassing to include in their social circle, or simply couldn't be bothered with them any more because there was no longer enough assistance or money to extract from them. Now that's plain tragic!
There was the widowed friend of Mum's in Sydney who doted on an only daughter who promised her the world and that she would always look after her and then met and married a man in a whirlwind romance, and moved to his ranch in Montana!
Within a little over 3 months poor Mae went from being a spoiled and fussed over mum, having all her needs catered for, to finding herself alone, and totally unable to cope, physically or mentally in an empty house. She was suddenly completely alone in the world and grieved as though her daughter had died. She had to learn to be self reliant for the first time in her life and it wasn't easy.
She still thought her daughter would send for her, still pretended that she was the center of the daughter's world, but we knew different. Over the next 12 years that daughter came home to see her mother twice. Once for a week to show her the two grandkids she'd never really get to know, and once when Mae was dying. She stayed a lot longer than week on that occasion. Long enough to sell off everything of Mae's that she'd inherited. What a shame Mae was no longer there to 'enjoy' her company! Yep kids are a real comfort in your old age aren't they?
She was only one of many older parents dumped, insulted, ripped-off for their nest eggs, and just plain abandoned by their children. Too many to document.
Talking to the oldies in the aged care hostel is enough to break your heart. I remember well the woman who bragged of having raised 10 children. Only two of them ever came to visit her at all, and only one ever took her out for a drive occasionally and had her 'home' for Xmas. Wow, that's not a good percentage is it?
To be fair I've known plenty too, who have kids who actually treat them better than they deserve to be.
It's a lottery as to whether you breed winners or booby prizes. I was never tempted to buy a ticket.
nthego:
