Diets, Decaf & Other Dubious Deeds

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Things are getting bad enough with low census at work that we are having to either go without pay or use up our earned time off (ETO) to continue getting paid. They will go as far as 80 hrs negative then we have to go without the pay. I have like 30 some hrs so after that I can go 80 more negative then I gotta go without pay. I can't wait around for 15 min. doing nothing on their dime. We have a lady that does that. It's shameful if you ask me. There are stories of people walking off the job when they no longer have the protective equipment to deal with the COVID19 pts. I would say that's awful but, until I'm in their shoes, I can't judge those choices. I'm not sure any job is worth dying over. But, starving to death and becoming homeless is not an option either. I find it hard to believe that people in this field would just abandon patients and nursing home residents. Just leaving people to die is a horrifying thought and it truly breaks my heart.
COVID19 has taken so much from us. Not just lives. I fear what little will be left after the destruction of it all. Amazing something like this can take down so much of society in just a few months. Makes a tornado seem like nothing in comparison.

It really bothers me that none of the officials and doctors agree on anything. They do not know what they're doing. And these are the folks we're supposed to look to for guidance? I'm not sure I would be willing to trust them when they decide this thing is over. It's too risky. If they can't get their crap together enough to agree on what is and what isn't then why should we believe them?
Anyway, another long day ahead. We are offering some sort of Asian combo as a special today on the grill. Lots of frying for me if we're busy enough. Then another afternoon of cleaning. Yippee...*looks less than thrilled* Have a good y'all.
 

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That post # 101 above,
the writing of yours, all made sense to me, Marci.

Very excellent job of putting so much into those words. Expresses a lot of things that many of us have felt and thought.
I care about the particular position that you and others, are put into, in this crazy situation, as well.

Thank you also, for that beautiful picture. The colors and subject, helped me to see them, today.
Thinking of you!
 

Sometimes I get why Jesus took the sin of the world upon himself and bore the weight of it on the cross. I just don't understand why he did it for us? I look around at people abandoning others and leaving them for dead, hoarding grocery and medical supplies, fighting in supermarkets over food, price gouging hospitals and consumers and just all the normal day to day stuff, and I can't understand how he still managed to love us and die for us. He's all knowing so he knew this and worse was coming and he saw man and still said...it's ok...let's do it. When my day comes if we are allowed to ask questions that's gonna be first on my list. Why and how?
 
I finally got an outfit together to wear to a friends wedding. Just have to order it. I'll post it here. I'd like to know what you ladies think. I'll start with the outfit.
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It's spaghetti night at the inn. I'm cooking tonight for the patients. I spent the week in the cafeteria. I will let you know if things have gotten any worse. I don't think we've been hit with our wave yet. I'm sure it's coming. It will probably be bad unless the stay at home has truly helped. But I doubt it. As cavalier as everyone is being about the stay and the distancing at work, I doubt that the residents of this town are being much more concerned about it. They won't learn until it's too late. They've been teasing me about my mask and my desire to self distance but, I don't care. They want to sit together and share their deadly cooties the can just knock themselves out. I will happily sit somewhere else. LOL! It will be interesting to see how bad it gets and how prepared they are. They think they're very prepared but, I think they've underestimated how bad this will get. I hope I'm wrong but, from the sounds of it, I don't think they've got nearly enough beds ready. Let alone equipment. They tell us they do but, from what they've given for a bed count, if this thing blows up, they won't have near enough. They will all learn. A very hard lesson. And the ones that make fun of me may not live to laugh at me anymore.

Have a good day and stay safe!
 
I like the outfit, and the simple yet very nice shoes....

and I love the way the pendant will look on that outfit.
It also personalizes the outfit with something that you, as an individual, likes. (y)😺

I love the spaghetti picture, and I did read some of your writing, today.
Made sense to me.
Will read more, when up to more reading. Thinking of you, Marci.
 
Back on the first page of this diary I talked about my writing project. I changed my mind about the vampire stuff. Now I just write about whatever I'm feeling or whatever is on my heart at the time. I like it better. I think I left a link to my page in the about section on here.

I'm fixing macaroni and cheese for dinner and thinking about all the stupid life choices I made that my parents never stop reminding me of. I'm 54 yrs old. I know how screwed up my life is and I know all the mistakes I made. But it's too late to do anything about it. My life was completely different than it is now. I was a totally different person then. I marched to the beat of my own drummer. Still do. If I am a disappointment to my parents then so be it. I am content with the life I have. I am content with my relationship with God. At this point in my life I'm just thankful to survive each day. I just wish I didn't have to get kicked for every thought I have & every decision I make. I would like to be my own person....be free to be myself without constant criticism coming from some where all the time. I'm tired of being made to feel like I'm never good enough. I am who I am and that's all there is to it. I was not put on this earth to gain the approval of the world. I'm tired of jumping through the world's hoops to try and prove my worth. I'm going to continue to be a fun, loving, woman who is single and plans to stay that way. One who is religious and also a poor housekeeper who eats mac and cheese and plays on the internet too much. I get silly when I'm tired and life makes me sad. And I'm grumpy without coffee. This is me. This is my life. I will live it how I see fit. I just won't tell the parents. LOL
 
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Morning jazz

Good morning!
I'm settled in for a do nothing day with my cup of coffee. I checked a little bit of COVID19 news but that's it for the weekend. I have been feeling better without the news reports freaking me out further every day. I will say this...until people take this masking and social distancing seriously, this is going to be an ongoing ordeal.

Anyway, I don't have a washer/dryer so, I have to hand wash my stuff so I got a "load" soaking for my weekend laundry. At least here at the house it's not costing me nearly $10 to do it. LOL!
Might get on Vudu later and watch another episode of the Detective. I enjoyed the first one.
It's supposed to be cooler here this weekend. Might see some snow showers Monday. ~Wrinkles nose~ I'm so tired of this wintery weather. It's spring but I wonder if Mother Nature slept in this year.

I don't know about you guys but, I don't normally eat breakfast. Haven't since I was a kid. My stomach doesn't agree with it. Usually coffee is enough. If I happen to wake up hungry, a donut is more than enough. How about you guys? You all eat breakfast? If so, what's your go to?
 
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Hawaiian Music

In a perfect world this would be great. But as we all know, there are times in life when people just lose control and say unkind things they don't really mean. The mouth has a mind of its own. I don't know about anyone else but, there are times I really have to work at being kind and speaking out of love. I am afflicted with having very little patience. Hard as I try. I don't know if it's the anxiety or if it's just hard wired in me because I've always been high strung. But it doesn't take much for me to lose control and snap at people. I don't mean to but, it happens sometimes. So I've been trying to work on this side of myself. I sometimes wish life came with an ignore button or block feature. But, if it did, I would likely be talking to myself. LOL!
I have been accused of being harsh. Which I can be without realizing it till someone points it out.
It's not easy constantly watching yourself and dealing with everything going on around you. Maybe some people can do that. I don't know.

I'm gonna try to take a nap. Later on!
 

As I sit here...confined to the house...I'm starting to get a little stir crazy. Not sure what I'm gonna do about this. My urge is to just sleep it away. Not a good idea I don't think.
 
MarciKS said:
@peppermint I'm not big on dancing. Too clumsy. I love to sing but, can't right now being sick and all. I also live in a duplex so I have to wait for the neighbor lady to be gone or for her to go on vacation before I can whip out my karaoke skills. LOL! I watch for her to leave on vacation. I can tell when she's gone if her side of the basement is locked. Then I mad dash it for the radio and find some tune I can belt out. LOL!! If she were here when this took place she'd be very unhappy with me.
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Good for you...keep singing....
 
Good stuff. I have enjoyed reading your diary. I understand your fears. You have expressed your
self well. Best wishes
 

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