End of the Womanly Woman

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Today, I watched Perseverance land on Mars. The control room at NASA is a thing to behold. Women and men working together and achieving wonderful feats of engineering.
Who has time to care what women wear, what men wear, how masculine or feminine anyone is...jeepers creepers.. there are more important things happening in the world. Take a look around!!
 

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Shalimar said:
So being womanly is ultimately reduced to sex appeal? Nineteen fifty would like it’s attitude back. 🤣
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I'd have to say being womanly is some mixture of values, humor, looks, being caring and supportive, being playful, having common sense, able to deal with life's issues, etc. The same could be said for being manly. Sex appeal is a given if the species is to survive.
 
People assume if a woman dresses in a manly fashion (jeans, t-shirts, sneakers) and has short hair that we're gay. I guess it never occurs to them that this is what they're comfortable in. I'll be damned if I'm walking around in some stupid frilly little female outfit that's totally not me. Then I might look like I'm gay. LOL!

I try to be ladylike but it's not something I'm terribly good at. Or something I enjoy for long periods of time because it's not who I am. I am a feisty, fun loving and somewhat juvenile 50+ woman who likes to laugh and enjoy life. There's just too much labeling going on in today's world and it really needs to stop.
 
MarciKS said:
I disagree. I have met few men that will look me in the eye first.
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If you ever take the time to look at studies of what men look at first in a women, you will find it goes something like this, with variations by age and maturity:
  1. Eyes
  2. Smile
  3. Breasts
  4. Hair
  5. Weight
  6. Legs
  7. Clothing
  8. Derrière
  9. Height
  10. Skin
Generalization and stereotyping generally doesn't serve you well.
 
MarciKS said:
That's another thing...we are nothing more than a walking set of these to most men. No matter what our age.
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Never been a 'boob' man. My list kind'a follows the list displayed near the end.

For me its ..... face/eyes, legs/butt.

But we're all getting old. I really don't look much anymore.
 
Keesha said:
Excuse my ignorance but what does DBM mean?
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Data base management...https://www.oracle.com/corporate/

...about the thread topic: even though the 1950s social structure is(for most of us) our point of reference in regards to norms, it was not so perfect. All the emphasis on hair, makeup, nails..all the superficial trappings did NOT 'make' the woman. Looking at TV shows of the 50s & early 60s the women who were the most made up were portrayed as "trampy". And, you know what? The very idea that a woman had to get all gussied up to attract a man is just as demeaning to men as well.

Makeup and fancy clothing does not equal "class", it's just the result of subtle marketing efforts by the cosmetic and garment industries.

I have to laugh at the styles back then, men sitting around at home fully dressed, wearing slacks, a white shirt-tie-jacket in the evening....I sure as hell glad to see that 'fashion' die!
 
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wow.
I have followed this thread for a bit. I thought about making a comment a few times and I stopped, because, well it would take too much typing.
Anyway, it seems to me that people always look back a generation or two with fondness of things the way they used to be.
Yes, my mother and grandmother were of the ilk of a "womanly woman" I guess. Things change.
I was looking at the diaries of women in my family from the 1820's-1830's, living in sod houses on the prairies of the Midwest.
What they wore and what they did to survive would not be considered "womanly women:" Concepts and civilization change and so does the role and perception of women.
I have always been attracted to intelligent women. My mother was brilliant. She was a micro biologist in her younger days.
My wife is super feminine and always looks great. Never goes out looking sloppy. Blond hair blue eyed cheerleader image.
Yet she graduated Summa Cum Laude from a major university, has an IQ of 160, a degree in finance and was recruited on Campus by one of the big eight accounting firms. Became very successful. Men would be intimidated by her.
We married late as she has a career as well as I. She asked ME to marry her! I do all the cooking, but so what?
She is great to watch negotiating with a man, as she plays the dumb blonde thing like a master. It's almost not fair.
When she goes in to buy a car at a dealership I just sit back and watch. I feel sorry for the salesman!
 
I haven't read all the replies to this post,, but will add my two cents worth.

I would fail badly by what I have read so far.
I don't do make up,, would take 5 pounds of make up to cover all my freckles.

My hair is short,,its easier to care for at this age.
My everyday attire is blue jean & t-shirt or sweat shirts in the winter.

WHY?
Because I was a stay at home mother to, 2 active sons.
My husband worked 2 or 3 jobs.
One was in a steel mill working around Hot steel bars.
The other jobs was cutting timber or helping his father with the farm.

Yes,, I felt I wasn't doing enough on my end.
Boarded horses,, bred dogs & sold the pups.
When the steel mill closed I became a auto inspection mechanic.
By that time the sons were starting on their lives.

I haven't changed how I dress,home is still jeans & t-shirts.
Going out when all the COVID restrictions end,, my attire will be colored jeans & nicer tops.

No dressy shoes anymore ,, my feet are happy in a shoe with good support
As for dresses,,one old one hidden in my closet & one skirt.

OK,,ladies maybe I do need a make over when the restrictions are over.
Hubby & I have been married 57 years,, a change in my appearance might shock him.
  • :eek: 🧑‍🦰
 
J.B Books said:
I was looking at the diaries of women in my family from the 1820's-1830's
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That's interesting. It might be interesting to read a book that was about each generation's criticisms of the following generation. I suppose generations where women wore full length dresses and men wore hats would be expressing shock at the decay of the women whose ankles showed and bare-headed men. And I can just imagine what the previous generation felt about those 20s flappers (oh, we are in the 20s, so I guess I should spell out 1920s).
And those pictures of people in the 30s sure don't look like they were put-together.

I'm not sure at my age that I know enough young people to generalize, but there seem to still be plenty of awesome young women, some of them stay at home. About 15 years ago my mom would buy raw goat milk from a young woman who stayed home with her kids and had a little goat milk business. Currently I have two coworkers whose wives mostly stay home with their young kids. I've only met one and she was not sloppy at all (but she was shockingly younger than my coworker and he isn't very old himself, I razzed him later about having married a child and he kind of giggled).
I had one younger coworker who had the best agreement with her employer when her kids were young, she was kept active (had a top secret clearance), but she only worked intermittently when the government had something urgent and the rest of the time she stayed home with her kids. She though, was extremely brilliant, most employer/employee relationships don't give mothers any leeway.
 
JonDouglas said:
If you ever take the time to look at studies of what men look at first in a women, you will find it goes something like this, with variations by age and maturity:
  1. Eyes
  2. Smile
  3. Breasts
  4. Hair
  5. Weight
  6. Legs
  7. Clothing
  8. Derrière
  9. Height
  10. Skin
Generalization and stereotyping generally doesn't serve you well.
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i don't follow studies. i base my information on what i see in real life not in some study. I'm not stereotyping or generalizing anyone. I'm just giving an opinion based on what I see happening in my daily life. It just doesn't jive with what you think things are like.
 
To the poster who has a blue eyed blonde cheerleader for a wife...most of us weren't one of those kinds of women. I will never be cheerleader type pretty. And frankly don't care to be. I see some of these women who are so pretty and they spend all their time with men fawning over them and telling them how beautiful they are. That would make me sick.

And as for generalizations...I think to that poster, it's unfair to assume that a woman dressed in pants and tshirts isn't feminine.

This is what most men want...
R5f1dd440d3fcafa7eb53586dd185a112.jpg

But in reality this is what most of us look like.
R2139d992cec25d6644f01f5fb6a87fb7.jpg
 
MarciKS said:
To the poster who has a blue eyed blonde cheerleader for a wife...most of us weren't one of those kinds of women. I will never be cheerleader type pretty. And frankly don't care to be. I see some of these women who are so pretty and they spend all their time with men fawning over them and telling them how beautiful they are. That would make me sick.

And as for generalizations...I think to that poster, it's unfair to assume that a woman dressed in pants and tshirts isn't feminine.

This is what most men want...
View attachment 150741

But in reality this is what most of us look like.
View attachment 150742
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My post as to the blonde cheerleader type is that most men make a stereotype of women that look like that.
Some women too.
She is what she is.
When she was a VP of finance the men that worked for her thought she was a Bi**
They were not fawning over her.
Underestimating and stereotyping my wife has always been a big mistake
 
MarciKS said:
Probably part of it is due to the fact that men these days no longer treat women like ladies. They treat us like tramps.
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and yet, women don't like "nice guys":


(2) women don't like nice guys - Bing



Over the years I've seen or heard radio or online discussions about this and the consensus appears to be that women regard "nice guys" as phonies. That when they try to treat women like ladies, they get rebuffed. I've had the experience myself - my mom taught me to send flowers to a gal if I was interested in her; one time I did so and the gal turned me down and acted as if I was a complete phony. Of course, not all women are that way just as not all men treat women like tramps. I certainly never did. But over the years I, along with pals I've had, complained of being rejected by women in favor of "macho men". Thereafter, those women who rejected us were later rejected by the "macho men" who always seem to have no end to the amount of women who admire them.

I guess it all depends on one's life experiences.
 
oldiebutgoody said:
and yet, women don't like "nice guys":


(2) women don't like nice guys - Bing



Over the years I've seen or heard radio or online discussions about this and the consensus appears to be that women regard "nice guys" as phonies. That when they try to treat women like ladies, they get rebuffed. I've had the experience myself - my mom taught me to send flowers to a gal if I was interested in her; one time I did so and the gal turned me down and acted as if I was a complete phony. Of course, not all women are that way just as not all men treat women like tramps. I certainly never did. But over the years I, along with pals I've had, complained of being rejected by women in favor of "macho men". Thereafter, those women who rejected us were later rejected by the "macho men" who always seem to have no end to the amount of women who admire them.

I guess it all depends on one's life experiences.
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You are right. Not everyone has the same life experiences. We are all raised in different states with different lifestyles.
 

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