How alone are you?

TabbyAnn said:
I was fine living alone with only one relative and one friend in this area
until a recent accident when I was incapacitated and the friend was
out of the state and the relative tied up with a sick spouse requiring
hospitalization, and I realized I should have made more social friends.
Can anyone recommend a good friendship site for seniors where you
can meet others in your region? I'm in Indiana in the U.S.
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The best way to make new friends is to meet people that share your interests. Try https://[B]www.meetup.com[/B]
 

I don't fully understand your question but I am alone and rather like it except for the fact if I get very ill there is no one to turn to. I have my wonderful pets for company and they have been so much better than any SO I have had.
 

I was more alone in my marriage and that prepared me well for life after divorce, which was more than a decade ago. The transition certainly had difficult days and months and all the while, life has to go on. In my youth I was afraid to be alone. But life has a way of putting our fears in front of us so we can look at them and deal with them. It took decades until I felt comfortable being alone. But now I am. It has helped me build confidence because I have had to learn how to do things on my own and deal with issues by myself.

Being alone does not mean I'm lonely. I'm fortunate to have friends locally and long-distance, family that stays in regular touch and that I see often and activities that keep me busy. I've had a few short-term relationships since my divorce but nothing permanent. And I'm okay with that. If and when the right man comes in to my life, it will be wonderful. If it doesn't happen, I'm okay with that, too. I have a life that I love and am grateful for all of it.
 
Having family close both physically and over the phone, e-mail, etc., is a huge boost when your personal life sort of collapses, whether through the death of a mate or a separation/divorce. They (the family) are already there for you but sometimes it's difficult to look for new friends under stressful circumstances.

Glad to hear that you have both friends and family nearby.
 
My departed wife and I were best friends and each others main company, when she passed 1/30/19 my life more or less ended too. I struggle. I try to carry on because I know that's what she would want...I'm old so I won't be here all that long anyhow then I'll see my baby again in the hereafter.
 
My husband passed away 2 years ago and after living in our home for 8 months I sold it and moved closer to my son.
I only see him about once a week as he is busy working.
My grandson recently moved so he is not close enough to drop in for a visit anymore and I was very close with him.
So I live alone in a small house and I find the weekends and holidays are the loneliest for me.

I love to garden and will be planting annual flowers as soon as it warms up here.
I like to read and visit the library often for new books.
I just try to stay busy.
 
[IQUOTE="Victor, post: 858553, member: 1951"]
Living alone runs the gamut or range from totally alone at one extreme
to very sociable and outgoing at the other end.
I have known people who live alone but friends, club members and or family members constantly call
and they frequently go out and enjoy. They live alone but that is all. They are rarely
lonely and not for long.

At the other end, those who live alone (not counting pets)
rarely or never get calls to talk or hang out together. This may be fairly
recent or your entire adult life. No human ever to come home to. After your college years
are over, only occasional friends, BFs and GFs and some dates.
No one cares about your weekend or even asks. You don't know what it is like to
have someone care about you, except possibly your parents. One could die and no one
would know.


Which group do you fit in? Or in between?
[/QUOTE]
I am totally alone. No social life at all, only my brother calls every now and then from another state.
My tv, this forum and trips to go shopping is the only socializing I do. I am thinking of getting a small dog for company. I need to take care of another breathing being, so I can feel useful in this world.
 
I LOVE being alone, I seem to need privacy more than normal. I have many cats and between them, the TV, the computer and some forums, a penpal, reading, and occasional errands I get all the company I need. I find it much less stressful than dealing with people's dramas and relationship disappointments. I'm the type that likes to be ''among people but not with people''.
 
@PVC You are my kind of person. I have only been "alone" since April. But once I am becoming more used to it, I am enjoying it more. Only thing I am lacking is the cats. But they will be added at some time in the future.
Sometimes I feel lonely, and in need of company, but that is when I ,make plans to go out and, like you, be among people. Out to lunch, or a visit. Something brief, and under my own control, I can end the interaction in a timely manner.
 
Aunt Bea said:
Victor,

I'm at the other end, LOL!

I have no close family or friends left.

My only human contact is with merchants, chance meetings on the street and the internet.

It's not a life I chose it's simply the life I have.

I have made efforts to meet people and develop new friendships but for me, it's just too uncomfortable a process so I stay in my comfortable little rut.

My only concern at this point is that I don't have anyone that I can depend on in an emergency but I've decided that is what 911 is for.

Why do you ask?

B
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Morningglory said:
Hi Aunt Bee, i know how you feel about lonely, my worst days are Saturday don't know why, I try to stay busy, but not interested in much of anything anymore, terrible feeling.
Click to expand...

I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel the same way, but just have to get on with it.

Post things to the forum here. If you're interested in other people, there's plenty for you here. 🌹
 
Ha, well here's a little pathetic levity for y'all:

I've been living alone for 12 years; I have no kids. Most of my social life involves going to the local diner and arguing and laughing with the other old men. Sometimes there are women around, and that changes the whole dynamic -- for the better.

I have some long-time good friends who are always there if I need them, and for that I am grateful. But they are not among the people I see at the diner every day.

Being alone at this end of life is pretty pathetic. Despite having said that, I am enjoying it -- it's just different than it used to be.

The best part of my life was when I was 18-20: Out of high school, living at home, a dresser full of clean clothes, three squares a day, had a full time job, had a brand-new '68 Camaro, I could legally drink, and I had a girlfriend. Little did I know it would be the best time of my life.

Oh well, ya can't turn back the clock.
 
I have felt I have been doing OK for the last few months. But now the colder weather is coming, and the prospect of some winter time isolation, I am feeling pretty alone. A bit lonely too. I need to become more active, socially, this winter than I usually am.
 
Marie5656 said:
I have felt I have been doing OK for the last few months. But now the colder weather is coming, and the prospect of some winter time isolation, I am feeling pretty alone. A bit lonely too. I need to become more active, socially, this winter than I usually am.
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Go tobogganing. 😁
We will always keep you company Marie. ❤️
 
I am lucky. I live alone but in an apartment there is always someone around so it's not that bad.
Also I go out for coffee every morning with friends. If I miss they check up to see if I'm o.k.
I have a goldfish who greets me every morning with a swimming display until I feed him (or her) I don't know how to tell.
It's important to get out no matter what the weather and just go somewhere that is busy with people for awhile.
 
This thread is an eye opener, and I am off to give my wife a big hug because I have not experienced loneliness in the 35 years we have been married.

When we first retired, we did not understand that there is more than one phase to retirement. The early retirement years are vastly different than the later years when health issues and changing interests become such big factors. This thread reinforces my belief that my wife and I are doing the right thing in planning to move to a Senior Independent Living facility that is located closer to family. I am 76 now and want to be there by the time I am 83. Right now we are on the opposite coast which is where our careers "deposited" us.

My wife is a bit on the extroverted side and I am a little bit introverted, both of us need to interact with people on a regular basis and our neighborhood has changed so much over the last 25 years that we don't always feel like we belong here. Our friends are getting old just like us and we cannot burden them, especially if we lose the ability to drive or become disabled.

Early last year I visited a senior living place in Washington State and immediately recognized it as where I want my wife to be if I leave the planet. I look forward to living there as well. It is a beautiful facility with lots of natural light, excellent security, nice ground and a fabulous dining room. My lunch there was excellent, and I met two ladies from our home town here in SC who lived there. One of them turned out to be the sister of our lawyer. I took that to be an omen. There were a lot of happy looking, lively seniors enjoying each others company in that dining room. I visited that evening and found that they had a chess tournament going on. The people living there ranged from 55 year old Doctors and Professors (who just found it a convenient way to live) up to people in their late 90's. It will be pricey, but not unreasonable when the only bill we are likely to have is for car insurance and our cell phones.

If I leave the planet, I don't want my wife to be stuck rattling around in this big house cooking for one and having to deal with lawn service, home repairs and all that other stuff that drives one crazy when we get older. She would get very lonely in a hurry. I also think that giving up home maintenance, cooking and cleaning will enhance our ability to do charity work, and travel. She will visit the facility in the near future to decide what furniture should go when we move. She has a good eye for these things.

A couple of things need to happen before we put our house up for sale and move: our lovable 18 year old cat need to come to the end of her natural life, I need to get surgery on my left eye this winter, and should probably complete the hormone therapy for my prostrate. Our move is likely to be determined by our cat who is pretty healthy for her age.

Does anyone else on this forum live in a facility like this? It is not assisted living, although that facility is a short walk down the sidewalk and won't require driving to visit. We will have our two Bichons and at least one car.
 
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