How is your day Today? Chat about your plans and achievements 2025....

horseless carriage said:
You can have a marriage or relationship and give your partner the room and space to enjoy themselves. My wife and I share our domestic duties like cleaning, dusting and scrubbing the lavatories. We share an enjoyable social life, but we also have our own time too.

In the garden is a purpose built cabin where the lady indulges in her hobby of dressmaking. Once in a while I will make a hot drink and take it to her, the pleasure of her thank you smile is enough, it pleases me that she enjoys her hobby.

Our marriage is a friendship based on love and trust, it allows for friendship with others, but we still love each other dearly. Today, she got the flowers and chocolates, even though we promised, "No Valentines," instead she was given a non Valentine card, (that's how I dodged the no valentine agreement,) and a message of love.
Her eyes welled up as she read my message, then I was treated to that enigmatic smile and wet kisses.
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Stinker! You are playing her like a fiddle. Keep the good work up.
 

Did a little accounting this morning and put away the rest of the laundry from a couple of days ago.

I emptied and washed the litter box this evening, so that can go out with the garbage tonight. It's a once a month task I assigned to my son a few months ago, since I scoop the litter box every day. But he's had very long days for the past 2 weeks. A couple of those days he did shopping for me after work, so I just wanted him to be able to relax when he finally got home..
 
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David962 said:
Can't you talk to him about this? Discussion can cure all kinds of issues.

I have a little room where I spend a lot of time. But I engage with my wife every day. We talk, we go out for little lunch dates together.

I have a family member who seems to be a in completely loveless marriage. But they don't seem to do anything about it.
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No, he doesn’t want to talk to me about anything. He walks out of the room. He has never wanted to discuss anything of importance with me.
 
MaidMarian said:
No, he doesn’t want to talk to me about anything. He walks out of the room. He has never wanted to discuss anything of importance with me.
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Learn about, (if you haven't already) and try talking his head off about what is important to him (as though your interested), see how he reacts. Turns away, or gradually becomes interested in talking to you about other things. ??
 
MaidMarian said:
I am feeling down today. It’s Valentine’s Day. I have a husband here . Not only have I never received a Valentine’s Day card or gift from him in our 36 year marriage but he hasn’t said one word to me today…. Not one!
I have given him a gift every year until this one and that makes me feel bad! Why should I feel bad about that?
He is in his room as he is every day. We do absolutely nothing together. I’m lonely, sad and bored.
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Am sorry MaidMarian. You seem, from what I can glean from your posts over six months I have been on SF, to be an energetic and engaging woman. Is your husband ill?

IMHO:
You are not responsible for his problem.
You can only use your response to make things change in his behavior, if he wants to change that is.

If he is not very ill:
Perhaps it is time to stir the marriage pot.
 
MaidMarian said:
I don’t want to do anything with him. I’m just sad. I’ll get over it.
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I did that for 30 years. Life is too darn short; if he wants to be alone, so be it.

Make him enjoy alone by himself without dragging you through undeserved hell.

He needs to learn a spouse is to be appreciated not everyone has a good spouse and you are one of them. There are literally thousands of good men who have lost their wives who need you. I know of three this minute. All widowers.
 
DH has his trade show this weekend!! YAY!! SO am excited today for many reasons.

He set up yesterday afternoon.
And I told him I will drive him to the show this morning. He likes me driving him places for some reason; I think his macular degeneration is progressing so he avoids driving unless he must.

So DH won't have a vehicle to suddenly pop back home for anything he forgot!

I am doing this chauffeuring because I have hired two strong backs to arrive here at 0900 to rearrange heavy rugs and furniture for two hours nd he doesn't know about it! He said he would help me "this coming week", but I don't want to ask him to AGAIN take apart our very HEAVY queen oak bed.

DH tries so hard to not spend a dime, but we are at a time in life I can afford to hire someone rather than risk injury to his back. He humped enough ammo up and down hills at Pendleton....🥵when he was a young Marine, I hate to see him stress and strain now, at 69.

I want to pamper him not burden him; and besides our brains sometimes don't agree on how to do what, when we are working together; feels like a "Who's on First" skit.

SO am excited today! When go pick him up from is show, I plan take him to dinner at RUDY's BBQ (his favorite Texas type place here in Tucson) THEN when we get back home he will walk into a totally re-arranged space! And he will be happy, because he didn't have to lift a single rug or piece of furniture!! :love::love:


IT RAINED last night, for hours!!! First substantial healthy rain since LAST March!!
Clean fresh, no dust air today!! Tucson will turn green in the next 24 hours!!
 
MORNING FOLKS, it is gray and 36F out there, most snow melted, don't think I will get new snow today....slept late yay,
woke up with gouty right foot for some reason, so will have
to baby it for couple days.....no plans for the day anyway, cept
maybe a load of laundry....catch you later!! 😘 :coffee::giggle:
 
Dammit @hawkdon, I was going to ask for sausage gravy and biscuits, but if your foot is "gouting," I don't have the heart...unless you can think of a way to keep it elevated while you're cooking?

It's half past 10. Not dressed yet. Bed not made. It's cold and dreary outside. There's nowhere to go and nothing to do.

Dessert for dinner tonight. Gonna try a new recipe for a pudding cake sort of thing with peanutbutter and chocolate. Where's my chef when I need him?

I'm probably not done whining, but if I think of something else, I'll be back.

One more thing: @MaidMarian Better to be alone by yourself than alone with somebody you don't want to be with. Sounds like the only thing keeping you from leaving is you. Make a list of all the reasons why you should go and another one of all the reasons why you should stay. Then proceed. (Keep in mind that I'm old and know stuff;).)
 
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MaidMarian said:
No, he doesn’t want to talk to me about anything. He walks out of the room. He has never wanted to discuss anything of importance with me.
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I had the same husband, he always walked out of the room ... especially in the last year of our marriage ( clearly he'd met the marriage destructor by then, but I didn't know that )... it's very frustrating.. but when you've lived with someone for a very long time, and especially if you have a nice home and maybe rely on their financial contribution, it's often harder to do anything about your situation.. I understand that.. I also understand when people tell you just to leave... you can't just up and do that on a whim.....you don't want to be living in a car...

I used to get people saying that to me, and eventually I would just avoid them.. I wanted to be able to talk, but I didn't want anyone telling me what I should do.... and therefore.. if you wanna talk..talk.. I'll listen..I won't offer any advice unless it's asked for.. if you don't want to talk about it, and wish you'd never mentioned it on here.. that's fine also...
 
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I know Jessica Fletcher (Murder, She Wrote) is from Cabot Cove, a tiny town, but the episodes that take place there are a lot more interesting than the ones in NYC or wherever she happens to be visiting. And I know that Cabot Cove would have to be positively crime-ridden for all the episodes to take place there, but I'd rather it be crime-ridden than follow her around the globe. There. I said it.
 
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