Long marriages - the secret?

I attended a 50th wedding anniversary yesterday for some very dear friends I have known for over forty years. Looking at their marriage from an outside perspective the one thing I have always admired about them is how their core family, them and the kids, were always the center of their lives. The kids are all well into their forties but even still as a husband and wife their marriage and life together is never compromised.

I've always looked at them as an example of how I wanted to live my life and raise my family. Mine didn't work out so well, but it's nice to see others go the distance.
 
51 years so far. I say it's give and take. I give, she takes lol. Just kidding, sheesh. Seriously, I think if I were to narrow it down, it comes to communication and it's not always as easy as it sounds. I would strongly advise against the silent treatment, It Doesn't Work! I was blessed all those years ago when she chose to hitch her wagon to mine and thank the heavens every day since. Here's to the next 51 years :coffee:. Don...
 
Good part fo our married life,my husband worked 2 or 3 jobs.
Couldn't count on the local steel mill for steady job.
He helped his father cut timber or operate combine when oats or corn was ready to harvest.

Later his job took him out of state .

Now that he has more time & if I loose my temper,, I would say Long walks alone from one another.

Gives you time to think about do you really want to go to bed mad?
Keeps one from making a stupid, hurtfully remarks.
 
Something new that I learned today. In our country there's a tradition of getting a birthday card from the monarch when you reach your 100th birthday. What I learned was there's greeting cards from royalty for wedding anniversaries. This is what I found:

Which anniversaries/birthdays does The King send congratulatory messages for?​

The King sends messages of congratulations for Diamond (60th), 65th and Platinum (70th) wedding anniversaries and every year thereafter. His Majesty also arranges messages for 100th, 105th birthdays and every year thereafter.
certificate.jpeg


We haven't quite made it to our diamond anniversary.
Has anyone on this forum received a card from the monarch?
 
Accept each other "as is" and not as you "want him/her to be," including all of their faults that you didn't see at first.

My first marriage lasted one year and was a "trial run." My second marriage has lasted so far almost 50 years.

If you haven't learnt to compromise and to be generous during the first two times, then a third marriage won't last either.
 
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I think compatibility is the key. Treating someone badly kills love. I have been married 3 times and the last two were for 22 years each.

My third husband and I were compatible for many years but he was a serial cheater which took me 13 years to find out and gradually he started to treat me poorly. I finally pulled my head out of my butt and divorced him. Life’s too short to be unhappy.

Of the long term marriages of people I have known very few were happy. Many stayed together although miserable because of finances or a desire not to be divorced.
 
Teacher Terry said:
I think compatibility is the key. Treating someone badly kills love. I have been married 3 times and the last two were for 22 years each.

My third husband and I were compatible for many years but he was a serial cheater which took me 13 years to find out and gradually he started to treat me poorly. I finally pulled my head out of my butt and divorced him. Life’s too short to be unhappy.

Of the long term marriages of people I have known very few were happy. Many stayed together although miserable because of finances or a desire not to be divorced.
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I've been married to the same woman for 63 years. I'm 88 and she is 84 now. It's easy to stay married that long. The couple must operate as a TEAM with regard to every problem that comes up. It's really not about sex at all. However, we have 2 kids, 6 grandkids and 3 great grandkids to boot.

I am the financial manager and my wife is the homemaker.
 
Things really improved for us when I talked my Audiologist to add a 'Wife' setting on my hearing aids.
When she speaks, my aids sharpen and zero in on every syllable being uddered.

Key phases like 'Why are you...' and 'Are you going to...' can trigger a special alarm sound.
 
Couples who have been married fifty years are over 200 times more likely to become centenarians than get a divorce, new research has found. The think tank founded to promote stable families has calculated the odds for a married couple to separate after their golden wedding anniversary to be one in 1,500.

In contrast, the odds of an 80 year old man reaching a hundred is one in ten and an 80 year old woman, one in six.
Harry Benson, research director of Marriage Foundation commented: “This finding demolishes the argument that the growing prevalence of divorce among older couples is to do with higher divorce rates or people living longer.

People are marrying later, so more divorces are happening among older generations, but rates by year of marriage are actually almost unchanged from since the 1970's.

Golden anniversary couples 200 times more likely to live for a century than get a divorce - Marriage Foundation
 
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