Mother says son with long hair denied admission to 2 schools

You shouldn't talk about parenting. You abandoned your daughter, too much trouble to fight for her as I recall. People in glass houses better not throw stones.
 

Pepper said:
You shouldn't talk about parenting. You abandoned your daughter, too much trouble to fight for her as I recall. People in glass houses better not throw stones.
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You are so, so wrong...…….she abandoned wife and I. Anyway, the girl had way to many problems going on for us to deal with! Anyway, my wife was a parent. She knows.
 
This just demonstrates that school is not just for learning academic subjects. It is also about learning to fit into society and be part of a community. Society has rules. We follow them or we either end up in jail or become an outcast. This child's parents may think they are being clever, but they are not acting in the child's interests.
 
From reading entire article it seems Mom was trying to make a statement. Older child had hair problems with same school. They banned his 'too short' hairdo. My guess is both sons would have rather had conventional haircut in order to fit in better. Mom had a 'don't tell me what to do' attitude.
 
ClassicRockr said:
From what I see today, many young and old want to do whatever they want to and don't care about rules or policies. What is bad is when the parent acts more like a buddy than a parent. Parents know how their kids should look, when attending school, but...…..
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I don't think it's quite that black and white, Cody. Nor do I think that the majority of folks want to do whatever they want regardless of the rules. Sure, some do, and I get that. But that's just part of human nature, and occurs under every circumstance and not just regarding school issues.

As far as parents know how their kids should look when attending school, that very much depends on the school rules and policies. As I mentioned earlier, one of my grandsons is a long haired boy, and the school he goes to has no issue whatever with that. There are probably some schools that do. It was important to my daughter in choosing a place for him that he be able to express his individuality so she choose the one she did. I have a client whose three kids attend a school where the dress code is VERY specific. Again, it's a matter of individual schools and their policies. You have to find the fit that's right for your kids, not just academically.

I'm not quite sure what parents acting like a kid's buddy has to do with the OP's subject. 🤷‍♀️
 
He doesn't have "long hair'', he has a mountain of hair. Regardless, it's a private school and they must have plenty of students who agree with and abide by their rules. Let the quarrelsome entitled mother put him in a public school where they're forced to accept ''individuality''.
 
When I went to school a looooong time ago we had a strict dress code. It was a Catholic school taught by Nun's. Once a week the Nun's made the girls kneel on the floor to make sure their uniform bottom touched the floor. If it didn't you were punished because they said it was too short. It was funny because as soon as we left school to go home we would pull our uniform up under the belt to make it shorter.
 
I always wonder why this type of story is even newsworthy? Do people NEVER tire of whining or desperately wanting the spotlight?? OMG, the number of people who are simply too delicate to live in the actual world just boggles the mind. "Boo hoo, I want attention so I can go viral and then sue someone over complete drivel." :rolleyes:

How many of us were told about school rules and we said "OK," and got on with our lives?
 
StarSong said:
Looks like the boys are required to wear ties, will the mother buck that too if her son decides he prefers a tee shirt?

We are all free to express our individuality, but not always using the method we'd prefer. As a kid it would have greatly suited me to start school at 10 am. The school system didn't see it that way. I adapted.

I come down on the side of the school. It's a private school. Their school, their rules. Disagree with their demands? Send your kids somewhere else.
Last I checked, England was a free country...
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Having been a teacher is both public (state government run) and private schools I have a few thoughts about this situation.

The uniform he is wearing seems to indicate a private school that would be run by a board of governors. They set the tone of the school and use this as a selling point to attract clients. The parents and the school board enter into a voluntary contract with two way obligations.

The mother, having come up against a similar but reverse problem with her older son, should have known what to expect. In the photo the boy seems to be wearing the correct uniform but his hair is out of control. Hair like that should be covered as a hygiene measure and I shudder to think of him anywhere near a Bunsen burner in the science lab. Sikh boys have long hair but they wear it in a top knot on top of their heads and it is covered with a boys version of the adult turban. However, in the case of the Sikhs, it is a matter of religious observance. As adults they are also expected to never cut or shave the beard. It is an expectation, not a universal obligation for all Sikhs.

In his father's culture baby boys did not have a haircut before the age of three but this boy is a lot older than three. He has reached the age of reason. He needs to presented with a practical choice. School A is a good school but it has some rules you may not like. One of these rules is about how short/long a student's hair may be worn. There are also rules about clothing that must be worn and personal grooming - even if you want to you will not be allowed to wear nail varnish to school. You may have to study subjects that are not interesting to you.

There are other schools like School B, which is also a good school, where the rules are different. You may be allowed to keep your long hair but you will certainly be required to wear a hairnet in the workshop and kitchen and have it tied firmly back in the science lab. Sport and games will have special rules too. These rules apply to all students and you cannot expect them to always suit what you want. Whichever school you choose, you will have to follow their rules. If you decide that you want to never have a haircut it will be difficult but not impossible to find a school that allows you to do this but there may be other things you don't like. You may have trouble making friends but once you make your choice you will have to stick it out unto you do find one or two friends. You may not be happy for a long time but you cannot change your mind once you decide which school is best for you.

Which will it be - School A or School B? You decide.

If the boy is so attached to his hair that to have a haircut would be a traumatic experience I would think seriously about home schooling my son. He is too old to be having tantrums at the hairdresser. I would also seek the advice of a counsellor. He may need time to adjust to a culture where he is expected to fit in.

I know I sound hard but life is full of choices and compromises. It is a lesson that needs to be learned in childhood.
 
Beautifully said, @Warrigal. But I lay this nonsense squarely at the parents' feet 99% of the time.

My husband and I owned a uniform company. Among our clients were several private, religious based schools that required parents purchase their specially made uniforms from us. Mandatory full uniforms including outerwear like sweatshirts, sweaters and jackets. I'm talking conservative Christian, Baptist and Catholic schools.

We were endlessly astonished at the shenanigans and tantrums thrown by about 10% of the mothers. Sometimes the kids, but nearly always the mothers. I could count on one hand the number of times it was a father - and we were involved with schools for over 20 years.

A disturbing number of women are highly invested in their 11-18 year old daughters' appearing sex-ually provocative. (Sorry, mods, no other word for it.) Several women actually said that if their middle school aged daughters (approximately 11-13 years old) couldn't wear skirts mid-thigh, they''d never get a boyfriend. My pat response, "All the girls will be wearing their skirts at this length. Hem it at your own risk. We cannot process returns or refunds on washed, worn or altered clothing." I even reminded some that women in burkas seemed to have little difficulty attracting men...

The kids were mostly great. Dealing with some of the mothers was exhausting.
 
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I really appreciate @Warrigal and @StarSong posts. Thank you guys.

Here's the thing that I personally find annoying about this general subject.

It's the gender-typing of the issue, the fact that boys can't have long hair, but girls are not required to cut THEIR hair to just above their collars if it's long. It's the perpetuation of the gender stereotype...that girls have long hair and boys have short hair, that's what gets me the most. If a girl can be allowed to come to school with long air, why can't a boy? Or let's flip it....there are plenty of girls also who wear their hair in a very short style, and they aren't mandated to grow their hair to a more "acceptable" or "appropriate" length for their gender.

That's what I find the most offensive about this entire subject.
 
Although I am all for personal freedom, this sounds to me like a trouble-making mother who is just looking for an issue. The kid looks ridiculous; he is (otherwise) a good-looking boy, and I feel sorry for him. He is being used as a symbol of some issue his mother has, and cannot seem to get past.

Schools have dress codes and other regulations. This mother needs to get over herself and should conform to the regulations, if she wants her kids to get into that school. That's part of life, Mom.
 
Sunny said:
Although I am all for personal freedom, this sounds to me like a trouble-making mother who is just looking for an issue. The kid looks ridiculous; he is (otherwise) a good-looking boy, and I feel sorry for him. He is being used as a symbol of some issue his mother has, and cannot seem to get past.

Schools have dress codes and other regulations. This mother needs to get over herself and should conform to the regulations, if she wants her kids to get into that school. That's part of life, Mom.
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I agree completely .
 
StarSong said:
Understand @Ronni. However, the school discussed in this article is boys-only, with a strict uniform and grooming code. As the mother already knew.

Plenty of schools have much looser dress codes, but this mother wants to rearrange the sky so every star aligns to suit her family's whims.
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Yeah I get that
Manatee said:
When that kid finishes school and seeks employment, that hair will not be an asset. The school is doing him and other kids a favor.
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Manatee said:
When that kid finishes school and seeks employment, that hair will not be an asset. The school is doing him and other kids a favor.
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Not necessarily. Two of my kids and my stepdaughter are coders, they work creating websites and phone applications and web development contracts, and I’ve been to a few of the various work get-togethers at different jobs they’ve held. You will see some of the most tattooed, pierced, wild haired, dreadlocked kids, both male and female, at these gatherings, all gainfully employed, all making over $100,000 a year.
 
Ronni said:
Yeah I get that


Not necessarily. Two of my kids and my stepdaughter are coders, they work creating websites and phone applications and web development contracts, and I’ve been to a few of the various work get-togethers at different jobs they’ve held. You will see some of the most tattooed, pierced, wild haired, dreadlocked kids, both male and female, at these gatherings, all gainfully employed, all making over $100,000 a year.
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Your kids are likely exceptional / lucky.....I doubt they are the norm, for which a 'better' appearance would do well.
 
Ronni said:
Yeah I get that


Not necessarily. Two of my kids and my stepdaughter are coders, they work creating websites and phone applications and web development contracts, and I’ve been to a few of the various work get-togethers at different jobs they’ve held. You will see some of the most tattooed, pierced, wild haired, dreadlocked kids, both male and female, at these gatherings, all gainfully employed, all making over $100,000 a year.
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This may be true for that particular profession, but it certainly isn't true for all, or even most, workplaces.
 
There is long hair. And there is ridiculously long hair to make some stupid point. When your hair is so ling that it poses getting caught in doors, or entangled in near by objects, then you are at risk of harming yourself. Schools don't need the liability. I think they are justified in rejecting him. But frankly, I believe this is just a "baloon boy" type stunt for 15 minutes of fame. I doubt the school has ever seen , or ever rejected this kid.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
There is long hair. And there is ridiculously long hair to make some stupid point.
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