you're right it absolutely does. I had hoped that the airline crises was easing off, and that I'd perhaps be able to go soon.. but today the headline s are screaming that the Flight and check-in staff in Spain have all come out on strike, cancelling 100's of flights.. so no chance for me..I hope you get that trip to Spain to enjoy your home there before it is sold. I know that weighs heavy on your heart right now.
here in the UK airports it's the lack of staff caused by the layoffs during Covid...but in Spain they're striking for more moneyAbout Babs, I agree that she's probably long since gone from this forum. I did get the feeling that their problems were much more serious than what was appropriate for us to be dealing with here. They needed, at the very least, a good marriage counselor, and if it all still fell through, they needed a couple of lawyers. I hope things improved for them.
About Holly, I also cancelled a planned weekend trip. My daughter and SIL have a lovely vacation home in upstate New York in the Adirondocks, near Canada to their north and Vermont to their east. I've been there about 4 times and always enjoyed it. My son, who lives near me, and I had airline tickets to visit them for the 4th of July weekend, but I chickened out. Airports don't sound very healthy to me, and from what I've been reading and seeing on the news, our airline system is in chaos also. Umpteen flights have been cancelled.
My son is still planning to go, but he had to change the date. We were supposed to go today and had a nice early flight, but the airline changed it to 10 PM! He changed the date of travel to tomorrow, and we're hoping the airline doesn't once again change the time.
I guess it's still covid problems, plus the price of fuel that has caused all this.
My husband retired a month ago. He is 64-1/2. I am 62. It is really sooner than I would have liked but it's what he wanted. I will continue working. I love my job and make a good living at it. We will not be pulling social security or retirement yet. We are going to try to manage on my salary and our savings. It's depressing to have my income cut in half. We used to live a fairly comfortable life but he has always been a spender. He spends too much money and evidently now thinks that retirement is a vacation. He's upset with me that I've told him he needs to cut back. I've noticed the past month that he gets bored during the day so he goes to the store. I've laid all expenses out on a spreadsheet and we have been able to make a few changes but not nearly enough.
I enjoyed having the house to myself for an hour or so in the morning after he left for work. I would get to watch what news station I wanted to watch and catch up on DVR recordings while getting ready for work (he has control of the remote.....I could watch in another room but I rather like the TV in the family room so I DVR a lot of stuff. He seems to think he can dictate what I watch). Now there's no time to watch my recordings.
He goes to bed earlier than me because of all of those years of going to work at 6 a.m. and I get an hour to myself in the evening to chill. I tend to watch things he doesn't like and he will ALWAYS comment on what station the TV was on when he gets up in the morning so I try to remember to change it before I go to bed. (I do the same thing with the car radio -- eliminates one less thing for him to b*tch about).
I work from home 2 days a week, 3 days in the office, and I cherished those work from home days because I was there by myself where I had peace and quiet. That is all gone. He is always there! With the exception of a few times per summer when he camps up at acreage we have in the forest. Those days are few and far between and they are a vacation for me to be home by myself! He tends to like to control things and thinks he can plan my 2 days off on the weekend.
Sewing and crafting seem to be a thing of the past now. I used to take vacation days from work when he was working just to get things done at home, run errands, time to do what I want to do but I can't even do that anymore. I tried it recently and he seemed to think he could plan my day for me. After 41 years of marriage and trying to keep him happy, this is just getting worse and worse. What can I do to pull myself out of this? I wish he'd go back to work but he has no intention of doing that.
Hopefully you are just going through an adjustment period.My husband retired a month ago. He is 64-1/2. I am 62. It is really sooner than I would have liked but it's what he wanted. I will continue working. I love my job and make a good living at it. We will not be pulling social security or retirement yet. We are going to try to manage on my salary and our savings. It's depressing to have my income cut in half. We used to live a fairly comfortable life but he has always been a spender. He spends too much money and evidently now thinks that retirement is a vacation. He's upset with me that I've told him he needs to cut back. I've noticed the past month that he gets bored during the day so he goes to the store. I've laid all expenses out on a spreadsheet and we have been able to make a few changes but not nearly enough.
I enjoyed having the house to myself for an hour or so in the morning after he left for work. I would get to watch what news station I wanted to watch and catch up on DVR recordings while getting ready for work (he has control of the remote.....I could watch in another room but I rather like the TV in the family room so I DVR a lot of stuff. He seems to think he can dictate what I watch). Now there's no time to watch my recordings.
He goes to bed earlier than me because of all of those years of going to work at 6 a.m. and I get an hour to myself in the evening to chill. I tend to watch things he doesn't like and he will ALWAYS comment on what station the TV was on when he gets up in the morning so I try to remember to change it before I go to bed. (I do the same thing with the car radio -- eliminates one less thing for him to b*tch about).
I work from home 2 days a week, 3 days in the office, and I cherished those work from home days because I was there by myself where I had peace and quiet. That is all gone. He is always there! With the exception of a few times per summer when he camps up at acreage we have in the forest. Those days are few and far between and they are a vacation for me to be home by myself! He tends to like to control things and thinks he can plan my 2 days off on the weekend.
Sewing and crafting seem to be a thing of the past now. I used to take vacation days from work when he was working just to get things done at home, run errands, time to do what I want to do but I can't even do that anymore. I tried it recently and he seemed to think he could plan my day for me. After 41 years of marriage and trying to keep him happy, this is just getting worse and worse. What can I do to pull myself out of this? I wish he'd go back to work but he has no intention of doing that.
One of my absolute favorite shows. My mother came from a humble background and sometimes tried overly hard to put on airs. She was also a perfectionist. We always called her Hyacinth!When I read the title of this thread, I thought about Keeping Up Appearances. The episodes where Richard retires and has to face living with Hyacinth 24 hours a day. Neighbor Emmett said, "The poor devil!"
I've always said its good if spouses enjoy being in each other's company because if they are together long enough, they will face retirement. My hubby and I face challenges, however we enjoy each others company...married so far for 38 years. I retired early and he is 60 yrs young and thinking of retiring but plan on continuing to work in a different field. Due to his current work schedule we spend quite a bit of time together during the day.I am so lucky as DH can entertain himself. He retired at 67 he is now 84 and we have enjoyed his retirement.
Yes, and her final post was three days later so she probably hasn't benefited from any of the advice offered.So many reasons to be called lucky man. This thread is about one of those reasons. Before & since retiring except for a few times while in the Navy my wife & I have been together 24/7 over 60 years now. I don't know how my life would be without her at my side.
- Aug 5, 2019<--- Babs original post date. Pretty sure her problem has been resolved by now.
Sort of sounds ideal!In a way,I can relate to the OP about having hubby around all day! When my husband is home on the weekends, it can be a bit irritating. I just can't work on my writing projects because he interrupts. But since we are both nerds and have our own offices we mostly spend time apart on the computer or working on projects. Then we come together in the evening to cook supper together and watch television. Other than that, he is a great provider and my best friend too!
This is a good idea! I'm going to be giving this some thought.I think advocating for myself from the beginning of his retirement has improved life for both of us.
I realize this is a few years old but how is life now?My husband retired a month ago. He is 64-1/2. I am 62. It is really sooner than I would have liked but it's what he wanted. I will continue working. I love my job and make a good living at it. We will not be pulling social security or retirement yet. We are going to try to manage on my salary and our savings. It's depressing to have my income cut in half. We used to live a fairly comfortable life but he has always been a spender. He spends too much money and evidently now thinks that retirement is a vacation. He's upset with me that I've told him he needs to cut back. I've noticed the past month that he gets bored during the day so he goes to the store. I've laid all expenses out on a spreadsheet and we have been able to make a few changes but not nearly enough.
I enjoyed having the house to myself for an hour or so in the morning after he left for work. I would get to watch what news station I wanted to watch and catch up on DVR recordings while getting ready for work (he has control of the remote.....I could watch in another room but I rather like the TV in the family room so I DVR a lot of stuff. He seems to think he can dictate what I watch). Now there's no time to watch my recordings.
He goes to bed earlier than me because of all of those years of going to work at 6 a.m. and I get an hour to myself in the evening to chill. I tend to watch things he doesn't like and he will ALWAYS comment on what station the TV was on when he gets up in the morning so I try to remember to change it before I go to bed. (I do the same thing with the car radio -- eliminates one less thing for him to b*tch about).
I work from home 2 days a week, 3 days in the office, and I cherished those work from home days because I was there by myself where I had peace and quiet. That is all gone. He is always there! With the exception of a few times per summer when he camps up at acreage we have in the forest. Those days are few and far between and they are a vacation for me to be home by myself! He tends to like to control things and thinks he can plan my 2 days off on the weekend.
Sewing and crafting seem to be a thing of the past now. I used to take vacation days from work when he was working just to get things done at home, run errands, time to do what I want to do but I can't even do that anymore. I tried it recently and he seemed to think he could plan my day for me. After 41 years of marriage and trying to keep him happy, this is just getting worse and worse. What can I do to pull myself out of this? I wish he'd go back to work but he has no intention of doing that.
Babs (the originator of this thread) hasn't checked into SF since three days after making this post. I call people like that "seagull posters." They fly over, drop a couple of splats, then continue on their way without giving much thought to where those splats landed.I realize this is a few years old but how is life now?
Thank you for that. I wonder if I am a seagull posterBabs (the originator of this thread) hasn't checked into SF since three days after making this post. I call people like that "seagull posters." They fly over, drop a couple of splats, then continue on their way without giving much thought to where those splats landed.
"Seagull posters" are my description only. There may be an internet term for people who do this, but if so, I don't know it.Thank you for that. I wonder if I am a seagull posterbut more often than not I lurk.