Run-in with a jerk

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Knight said:
That doesn't make sense to me.

You say
Quote
"If that passenger had been handicapped or loaded down with packages, I'd have moved my little wheeled basket to the exit area. BUT, not for a jerk."

Now you say
If I had done so, I'd have blocked the exit.

I'm not trying to be difficult just trying to understand why taking a chance of unexpected violence that could easily involve a gun or knife warranted such a confrontation.

Nothing would have happened if you moved the cart, you would still be the same.
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Why did the black man take issue with the cart when no once else did? Anybody???????
 
fmdog44 said:
Would you have raised your question if he said the man was white?
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fmdog44 said:
Why did the black man take issue with the cart when no once else did? Anybody???????
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Exactly ! Several ladies had just passed by me without any problem. But, that young man needed to make an issue out of it.
Folks, their are types of people who think the world should kiss their arse. When they don't get their way, they often become violent.
 
fmdog44 said:
Why did the black man take issue with the cart when no once else did? Anybody???????
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Firstly, the key thing here is we have only the OP's version of events, and it's quite clear if you read carefully his comments on other threads as well as this one that he somehow feels more threatened by some men than others before they say/do anything. It is also pretty clear how self-centered and self-serving SC is. It is altogether possible that other people had difficulty getting past his cart, may even have made faces at him or muttered as they past but he may not have even noticed how many he inconvenienced since they didn't confront him directly and/or weren't from the demographics that get his 'machismo' riled up.

i do think this has been a useful thread, a lot of people revealed a lot more about their character than may realize, about their ability to reason and to see more than one side to an incident when you only have one person's highly loaded account.
 
feywon said:
i likely would have.
But if the man was white and not 'heavily facially tattooed' OP would likely not have used descriptors at all and possibly would not have reacted as strongly as he did either.
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Nothing wrong with descriptors. I could have said a young man with dreadlocks.
Side note: I have had problems with whites as well as blacks. Skin color is not the issue. Attitude is.
 
feywon said:
Firstly, the key thing here is we have only the OP's version of events, and it's quite clear if you read carefully his comments on other threads as well as this one that he somehow feels more threatened by some men than others before they say/do anything. It is also pretty clear how self-centered and self-serving SC is. It is altogether possible that other people had difficulty getting past his cart, may even have made faces at him or muttered as they past but he may not have even noticed how many he inconvenienced since they didn't confront him directly and/or weren't from the demographics that get his 'machismo' riled up.

i do think this has been a useful thread, a lot of people revealed a lot more about their character than may realize, about their ability to reason and to see more than one side to an incident when you only have one person's highly loaded account.
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Interesting how you take sides with the young thug and not with me... the old man. Curious.
 
Gary O' said:
and that's where it is these days

Young folks are lacking

Too much permissive BS

Seems they're feeling for the edge, because it's just not there for 'em

I'll show 'em where it's at

I've shown the way many times

This ol' dawg ain't gonna roll over and play dead

Not now

Not ever

View attachment 184437
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i get where you're coming from, Gary. But i think we have to remember that some of our generation are not necessarily (uhhh, how can i say this?) 'not jerks' just by virtue of their age.
 
feywon said:
i suspect you have problems with a lot of people due to your attitudes.
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I have a problem with people who attempt push me around. Call it attitude if you wish, but I call it standing my ground. Once a person starts bending over, it eventually becomes impossible to stand up straight.
 
This brought back a memory of an encounter I had with a nutty person. I had gone to the doctor with my husband. The doctor walked out of the room for a minute and my husband told me angrily that I told the Doctor too much and told me to leave the room. He said he was intelligent enough to talk to the Doctor himself. I went to go sit in the room but all the seats were taken. So I went outside to get some air a lady came up to me yelling and then she grabbed my neck. She was yelling "Do I look fat to you. My husband says I'm fat." Luckily there was a security guard there and he grabbed her away from me.I ran back into the waiting room just as my Husband walked in. He called me and said, "Honey could you fill out these forms for me?" I can't tell you what I said to him but needless to say, I did not fill out the forms.
 
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Sassycakes said:
This brought back a memory of an encounter I had with a nutty person. I had gone to the doctor with my husband. The doctor walked out of the room for a minute and my husband told me angrily that I told the Doctor too much and told me to leave the room. He said he was intelligent enough to talk to the Doctor himself. I went to go sit in the room but all the seats were taken. So I went outside to get some air a lady came up to me yelling and then she grabbed my neck. She was yelling "Do I look fat to you. My husband says I'm fat." Luckily there was a security guard there and he grabbed her away from me.I ran back into came in the waiting room just as my Husband walked in. He called me and said, "Honey could you fill out these forms for me?" I can't tell you what I said to him but needless to say, I did not fill out the forms.
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Yeah, sometimes it seems the world is overflowing with nutty people. Just a few minutes before I got on that bus, I watched as a 20 something year old was screaming at the sky and shaking his fist. Drugs? Psychotic ?
 
senior chef said:
Interesting how you take sides with the young thug and not with me... the old man. Curious.
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Curious to you because you presume and assume too much about others. Age does not confer virtue of any kind, nor integrity, values. Are there more young people around now than in our youth who disrespect elders? Perhaps, tho of course the "bad" ones are more noticeable and get more media attention. But our generation were not universally thoughtful and respectful (sometimes we had good cause to stand up, sometimes not).

We have only your highly onesided and emotionally loaded account. Descriptors are fine when they are straight forward and not designed to paint the other as a 'villain'. If i'd ever seen a complaint of yours lodged at someone who was not part of a group that gets frequently stereotyped i might be more inclined to buy that. You seem to expect everyone to accept your judgements, sorry this old woman thinks for herself, always have. Much to the chagrin of people who saw themselves as having some kind of authority over me. i'll play by rules when necessary, but i reserve my right to make my own judgements.

It would never occur to you that today's 'old men' with attitudes like yours were the contemporaries of my youth who tried to manipulate me, who disrespected, dismissed/devalued my opinions frequently and in one instance physically assaulted me. And yet you have the nerve to compare the emotional impact of your own self-imposed dilemma (can't appear weak) with the emotional impact of sexual assault?

The only person who would have seen you as weak (if anyone else besides you was even paying much attention) would have been you. When you could have moved the cart (or 'little basket' which was it?) in a way that conveyed he was being feeble by asking you to move it. i know you're smart enough you could have thought of them because you're smart enough in your choice of words walk the line in the OP to walk the line between potential 'victim' and righteously tough old dude.
 
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feywon said:
Curious to you because you presume and assume too much about others. Age does not confer virtue of any kind, nor integrity, values. Are there more young people around now than in our youth who disrespect elders? Perhaps, tho of course the "bad" ones are more noticeable and get more media attention. But our generation were not universally thoughtful and respectful (sometimes we had good cause to stand up, sometimes not).

We have only your highly onesided and emotionally loaded account. Descriptors are fine when they are straight forward and not designed to paint the other as a 'villain'. If i'd ever seen a complaint of yours lodged at someone who was not part of a group that gets frequently stereotyped i might be more inclined to buy that. You seem to expect everyone to accept your judgements, sorry this old woman thinks for herself, always have. Much to the chagrin of people who saw themselves as having some kind of authority over me. i'll play by rules when necessary, but i reserve my right to make my own judgements.

It would never occur to you that today's 'old men' with attitudes like yours were the contemporaries of my youth who tried to manipulate me, who disrespected, dismissed/devalued my opinions frequently and in one instance physically assaulted me. And yet you have the nerve to compare the emotional impact of your own self-imposed dilemma (can't appear weak) with the emotional impact of sexual assault?

The only person who would have seen you as weak (if anyone else besides you was even paying much attention) would have been you. When you could have moved the cart (or 'little basket' which was it?) in a way that conveyed he was being feeble by asking you to move it. i know you're smart enough you could have thought of them because you're smart enough in your choice of words walk the line in the OP to walk the line between potential 'victim' and righteously tough old dude.
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Seems likely that you would have been much more comfortable reading about a man who was passive and submissive . Why is that ?
You do seem determined to paint me in a negative light . Why is that ?
Don't expect me to apologize for being a man.
I suggest you work out your anger at men in some other form.
 
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fmdog44 said:
Why did the black man take issue with the cart when no once else did? Anybody???????
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We don't know if the black man had any physical difficulties do we? We don't know if anyone else did all we know is the man was much smaller. We do know we only have one side of an encounter that could easily turned bad for not only the chef & the other bus passenger but anyone seated close to them.

We do know the back of the bus had seats open that could have been used. Sitting back there would eliminate partially blocking the aisle. I'm pretty sure getting off the bus is just as easy from the back seat as it is from the others.

What does it matter the color of the man's skin? If it was courteous to move for a handicapped why not extend that same courtesy to another bus rider? Or is it OK to be the kind of person that displays to the lack of civility to others no matter their ethnicity?
 
senior chef said:
You are forgetting something VERY important. If I allowed anyone to push me around, I'd have to live with the fact that I am a victim. I refuse to be a victim. The emotional impact of victimhood is a heavy burden to carry.
If I could use an analogy ? A woman who is raped, has become a victim of her attacker. She may, or may not have suffered physical trauma BUT the knowledge that she was victimized is a heavy emotional burden to carry. In other words the emotional trauma is often far, far worse than the actual physical trauma.
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Labeling oneself as a "victim", loser" or whatever is the burden. Anytime a person is ready and willing to fight, they need to be prepared to lose, as victory is never guaranteed. If the guy punches you in the nose, and you stop fighting as a result...it's over. But, you don't have to wear the "victim" label, it's just that you weren't willing to let a minor incident go, and now you have a busted nose.


Professional fighters don't label themselves as victims, they just count the wins and losses.
 
senior chef said:
Seems likely that you would have been much more comfortable reading about a man who was passive and submissive . Why is that ?
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Well, it 'seems' like that because you are prone to making assumptions about people and assuming your distorted perceptions are accurate. Which is why i don't accept your stories (yeah i remember the first one you told coming in here, and the brouhaha about 'no politics') at face value as being 'true'.

Real strength is besting an opponent without having to 'tower over' them or throw a punch. Iif the other throws a punch first, have at it. One can be assertive without being aggressive. But read this comment of mine prompting your response i've quoted here carefully: i actually said you could have come off seeming strong/unafraid in other ways than responding as you did. Even suggested that i think you are smart enough to have turned the tables on him, made him feel weak pretty much with words. Of course being human i could have been wrong about that.

But as usual you ignore anything you don't have an easy (likely rehearsed) comeback for in favor of trying to put me on the defensive. Up till now this has just been an intellectual exercise for me, and frankly not even that much of a challenge. i found more of interest in other people's responses than in your repetitive thinly disguised pleas for both emotional support and admiration. Not to mention how differently you respond to men that 'disagree' with you than to women who disagree with you. You acknowledge the points men make before repeating,in effect' "I'd rather die fighting."
 
Pepper said:
Here's why:
"When it comes to comparing Christianity with Islam, one thing is without doubt. We do not see Christians flying jet planes into buildings filled with people." said he in Diva's thread.

He had a run-in with a jerk when he looked in a mirror. Yet, his cooking threads are nice.
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OMG Pepper! I couldn't have said it better myself. Don't know about his cooking threads though. I could care less about those. Clearly the chef is a bigot. @Lee
@feywon Oooohhhh my dear friend...love your responses. Apparently he doesn't know who he's tangling with! :LOL:
 
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senior chef said:
You are forgetting something VERY important. If I allowed anyone to push me around, I'd have to live with the fact that I am a victim. I refuse to be a victim. The emotional impact of victimhood is a heavy burden to carry.
If I could use an analogy ? A woman who is raped, has become a victim of her attacker. She may, or may not have suffered physical trauma BUT the knowledge that she was victimized is a heavy emotional burden to carry. In other words the emotional trauma is often far, far worse than the actual physical trauma.
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1) Maybe Nathan didn't forget anything, maybe he just perceives the world differently than you do.

2) Many rape survivors if they get the proper counseling and support see themselves as survivors, not victims, and some of us vow not to be victimized that way ever again. While you may think you're being all enlightened talking about the emotional burden of being a rape victim (because you have some mental hangup about viewing yourself that way) until you've been sexually assaulted by some one who beat the crap out of you to subdue you, you don't get to make pronouncements about which trauma was worse--hell i have been thru exactly that and i would not consider speaking for any other sexual assault victim about what was the worst trauma! Different human beings experience the same basic thing in individual ways. For some reason that seems a difficult concept for you.
 
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senior chef said:
Seems likely that you would have been much more comfortable reading about a man who was passive and submissive . Why is that ?
You do seem determined to paint me as the bad guy . Why is that ?
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feywon said:
1) Maybe Nathan didn't forget anything, maybe he just perceives the world differently than you do.

2) Many rape survivors if they get the proper counseling and support see themselves as survivors, not victims, and some of us vow not to be victimized that way ever again. While you may think you're being all enlightened talking about the emotional burden of being a rape victim (because you have some mental hangup about viewing yourself that way) until you've been sexually assaulted by some one who beat the crap out of you to subdue you, you don't get to make pronouncements about which trauma was worse--hell i have been thru exactly that and i would not consider speaking for any other sexual assault victim about what was the worst trauma! Different human beings experience the same basic thing in individual ways. For some reason that seems a difficult concept for you.
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It's ok. really. I understand that you have problems with men. If it helps you deal with your past traumas, by finding fault with me, then I fully understand.
 
win231 said:
Hey man. I never bend over to any man. NOBODY messes with me!

I'm so tough, I don't even have to read a book. I just stare at it until it gives me the information I want.
I do 600 push ups every morning. I don't lift myself up - I push the earth down.
Ya know how I make my coffee? I grind the beans with my teeth & boil the water with my rage.

I bet ya can't beat that!
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I am tired, so my eyes read that you grind bears with your teeth. Now that is a man! 🤩
 
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