The Cheeky Friendly Banter Thread!

Loving some pf the jokes on here-only managed 2 pages-will catch up when I have moree time.
 

mariana said:
Loving some pf the jokes on here-only managed 2 pages-will catch up when I have moree time.
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Well done Mariana.
Here are a few more!!!

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:D:D:D
 
Blondes are very different from redheads.

I'm a redhead. I'd have knocked the Captain out cold, and told my hubby to get that First Officer up on the bridge and notify the authorities that we had a medical issue:

That poor Captain fell down and bonked his head. What a shame.

LOL!!!
 
Pookie said:
Blondes are very different from redheads.

I'm a redhead. I'd have knocked the Captain out cold, and told my hubby to get that First Officer up on the bridge and notify the authorities that we had a medical issue:

That poor Captain fell down and bonked his head. What a shame.

LOL!!!
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My wife is a redhead, too, and she basically says the same thing ..............but then again, she's full of crap
 
Don't ever underestimate the power of a blonde --- sure we may be having more fun, but should a man give us any trouble, we don't hesitate to use our superhuman strength to put him in his place - with whatever it takes, knuckle sandwich or our scathing biting wit.
 
This is a riot.Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a uneventful flight. Sit back, relax and... OH...MY GOD!"


Silence…

Some moments later, the captain comes back on the intercom: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled, “For the luvva Jaysus, you should see the back of mine!"

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Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man.

"You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."



"Ah, that's nothing'," said the 70-year-old.

"When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement anymore.

You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing' comes out!"



"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."



"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.



"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock. No problem at all."



"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"



"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."



Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"



"I don't wake up until 7:00.

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