Some Light Dublin Traffic Humour
A car full of Irish nuns are sitting at a traffic light in downtown
Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.
"Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins." shouts one of the
drunks. Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata
and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya
fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls
off."
She then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior quite
innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?"
Drunk Driving
A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland.
A routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood pub.
Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the
officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying
his keys on five vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he
fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons
left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the
wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night). Then flicked the
indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the
lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then
remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down
the road. The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time,
now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly
pulled the man over and carried out a random breathalyser test.
To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's
intoxication.
The Police officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy"
