Why do so many younger members quickly leave SF?

I came here purposely because of the no politics. It was like a breath of fresh air! If someone does not want to get into debates with others just don't go to those boards. That's what I do. There are plenty of other ones to keep me interested and that I enjoy. I recently put one member on "ignore" even though I never had any exchange with her. It was the rude comments made all over the forum by her I could not stand. For the most part I love everyone here.

As for younger people leaving, not sure why they do unless it is that our problems are not common to them. As they are just thinking about retirement and many of us have been retired for a number of years already. Maybe it is depressing to them to hear what we are dealing with. Though in my opinion, I think most of us sound like we are enjoying our retirement just fine.
 
David777 said:
Some people on any boards may complain simply because they tend to be emotional about most everything then tend to project their own supposed feelings on what others post simply because such disagrees with content they feel strongly about. Instead one first ought give others benefit of doubt before narrowly assuming the true intent of what others post considering other possible interpretations. If one is unsure, ask for a clarification. The Internet is a terse communication medium unlike face to face verbal.
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The written word cannot carry the same nuance as the spoken word, nor does it allow for eye contact and body language, all of which we use in communicating with others as we go about daily life. Every person has a unique communication style, a way in which they interact and exchange information with others. There are four basic communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive.

It’s important to understand each communication style, and why individuals use them. For example, the assertive communication style has been found to be most effective, because it incorporates the best aspects of all the other styles. When we break down these four styles, we’ll better understand the characteristics of each style, standard phrases and what makes them unique.

Passive: Individuals who use the passive communication style often act indifferently, yielding to others.
Aggresive: It’s often apparent when someone communicates in an aggressive manner. You’ll hear it. You’ll see it. You may even feel it.
Passive-aggressive: Communication style users appear passive on the surface, but within he or she may feel powerless or stuck, building up a resentment that leads to seething or acting out in subtle, indirect or secret ways.
Assertive: Thought to be the most effective form of communication, the assertive communication style features an open communication link while not being overbearing. Assertive communicators can express their own needs, desires, ideas and feelings, while also considering the needs of others.

A search for the answer to the thread's title, not so much S/F but social media in general, showed that younger people are turning away from social media because they are becoming privy to the way websites store our data. How I empathise with that.
 
horseless carriage said:
The written word cannot carry the same nuance as the spoken word, nor does it allow for eye contact and body language, all of which we use in communicating with others as we go about daily life. Every person has a unique communication style, a way in which they interact and exchange information with others. There are four basic communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive.

It’s important to understand each communication style, and why individuals use them. For example, the assertive communication style has been found to be most effective, because it incorporates the best aspects of all the other styles. When we break down these four styles, we’ll better understand the characteristics of each style, standard phrases and what makes them unique.

Passive: Individuals who use the passive communication style often act indifferently, yielding to others.
Aggresive: It’s often apparent when someone communicates in an aggressive manner. You’ll hear it. You’ll see it. You may even feel it.
Passive-aggressive: Communication style users appear passive on the surface, but within he or she may feel powerless or stuck, building up a resentment that leads to seething or acting out in subtle, indirect or secret ways.
Assertive: Thought to be the most effective form of communication, the assertive communication style features an open communication link while not being overbearing. Assertive communicators can express their own needs, desires, ideas and feelings, while also considering the needs of others.

A search for the answer to the thread's title, not so much S/F but social media in general, showed that younger people are turning away from social media because they are becoming privy to the way websites store our data. How I empathise with that.
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Well, that was interesting. 😊
 
Aunt Bea said:
I think that many people search the internet looking for the perfect place to belong, share, and grow.

Some people create such a wonderful place in their minds that nothing will satisfy them.

Eventually, the pilgrimage becomes more important than the destination.

Whatever the reason, I've been fortunate to cross paths with some wonderful people over the years that I wouldn't have met otherwise.

“Not so much two ships passing in the night as two ships sailing together for a time but always bound for different ports.”
- P.D. James
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Well said Aunt Bea. I've met some wonderful people over the years, especially right here on this forum, you are one of them. 🧡 I think people have to keep in mind that others online are just like people in our everyday world, there are different personalities, some grumpy, some mellow, some may be going through some difficulties in their lives which cause them to behave a bit differently sometimes, etc..

I don't think that age has too much to do with new members leaving, maybe they were offended by someone's reply, or perhaps they're just busy with other things in their private life and don't have much time to be on the computer. This board is pretty friendly compared to some others. I can't imagine how it is on social media sites like fb or twitter, never joined and have no desire to from all I've heard. Too much negativity is unhealthy for any of us, IMO.
 
dseag2 said:
I've now seen younger members in their 50's like Rah-Rah, Smiley Holly and MMinSocal go missing. I was pleased that they joined because they offered a different perspective. It is unfortunate that they left. I'm only guessing that one must have a thick skin to participate in this forum. Perhaps those in their 50's haven't developed the ability to let negative comments slide off their backs like we in our 60's, 70's and 80's have? Perhaps they are more altruistic than those of us who are more jaded.

Not sure what the answer is, but if this forum doesn't become more welcoming to younger members and their views it will quickly become stale. If you just want to spout the same old beliefs then good for you, but in my view we should do more to nurture and appreciate the views/posts of younger members.
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It feels like a tight knit group. A lot are quick to point out their “seniority”, and I think it hurts others feelings. Most people are just looking for acceptance and connectivity aren’t they? Opinions should be taken with a light heart. Like texting, a lot can be lost in translation. A little drama makes things interesting, but for a lonely person, looking for acceptance, it can be hurtful. This is my observation.
 
Occasionally every few years reviewing examples of standard argument fallacies has wisdom. An answer on quora nicely points to some other games.

https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-psychological-tricks-to-use-in-a-debate
Heath Weaver
snippet:

Over the years I’ve seen a lot of tricks in arguments and debates. Tricks is probably not the best word, because most people don’t realise they are doing it. A lot of the “tricks” being used reflect biases that our brains naturally have because life can be difficult to wrap one’s head around.

One of the most often used techniques is shifting goal posts (I don’t know the official names for these kind of things). What happens is that when one person feels like they are losing ground they subtly change what is being discussed. An example, you are arguing about who needs to clean out the bird cage. The girl says that because she did it last week, that it’s the guys turn (let’s assume they didn’t actually sit down and set a schedule). The girl complains and says, “I did it last week, it’s your turn.” The guy, says, “Well, I’ve done it tons and anyway, I moped the floor and you are messy.” Voila!!! The guy has just moved the goal posts as now they will start fighting about general cleanliness.

Another trick is to turn what someone says to mean something it clearly doesn’t or assume or read into things the other person says. Taking the bird cage story again. The guy says to the girl, “Hey, you’ve forgotten to clean the bird cage, it’s your turn.” The girl says, “Why are you calling me messy? Why do you have to insult me?”

Distraction works well, simply changing the subject. The girl says, “Husband, can you clean the bird cage? It’s your turn.” The guy says, “I had a really tough day today, did you buy bird seed? I mentioned we were almost out a couple days ago.” Girl, completely bewildered, stammers…

A really mean trick is stonewalling. Guy asks, “Girlfriend, can you clean the bird cage?” Girl ignores him and keeps chatting on Facebook.

One partner can agree and then not do it. Then after being reminded, say they will, but then not. [Also may enjoy annoying the opposition they know will notice.]

A fairly common and difficult trick in debates is trying to remember what was said. It is clear that we remember things how we want and trying to remember who said what is very difficult. If you are a horrible bastard (masculine or feminine) then you can simply change how you remember what was said. Girl asks, “Boyfriend, you said you’d clean the bird cage.” Boyfriend says, “No, I didn’t. What are you talking about?” Girfriend, tries to save face, “You said you’d do it two days ago.” Boyfriend stays committed to his story, “I have no idea what you are talking about, I never said that.
 
I come here occasionally when I have access to free internet (wifi). Almost exclusively to record my own travels in a diary so I have something to look back on once I can no longer get around so easily. Selfish maybe but I want to be able to look back at things I did and remember them in the same way I did when I was actually doing them, if that makes any sense?

My biggest fear in life is regretting things I never did & places I never visited while I had the chance to. I refuse to allow anything but health and physical ability to slow me down. I take all precautions with vaccines and what not but I do not and will not let recent events (Covid & the recent war in Ukraine) steal the final years of my life in hiding away. So far; so good(y)

I do have to return to Canada soon though in order to maintain my Canadian health benefits and pension. It would be silly of me to not 'work the system', right?
 
MrPants said:
I come here occasionally when I have access to free internet (wifi). Break
My biggest fear in life is regretting things I never did & places I never visited while I had the chance to. I refuse to allow anything but health and physical ability to slow me down. I take all precautions with vaccines and what not but I do not and will not let recent events (Covid & the recent war in Ukraine) steal the final years of my life in hiding away. So far; so good(y)
I do have to return to Canada soon though in order to maintain my Canadian health benefits and pension. It would be silly of me to not 'work the system', right?
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You've got me thinking as to "biggest fears" and what they might be(?).
All kinds of trouble may lay in wait ahead, not least because so many are alienated or excluded from their children's/grandchildren's lives, so no sources of support there likely for some of us, (whatever anyone might think we've done to deserve this treatment).
We're more than likely going to have to rely on someone for pur physical and mental wellbeing, possibly or probably strangers essentially, those paid by the state to perform their role, maybe cos they could get better jobs, (and I'd guess, "woebetide us if we don't look grateful for whatever they do!).
Scared everybody now I shouldn't wonder, though we may just "drop off the perch", (and be no bother to anyone, quick/cheap funeral and "bobs your uncle"!).
 
@David777, that’s a good summary by Heath. Some of those games get played here too.

Thinking of a couple of younger people that disappeared, they tried to stay neutral but some of regular, very opinionated members weren’t allowing that.
 
Medusa said:
SilentRose left? I'm really sorry to learn that; she is a sweet person and I thought she added a lot. I have not read it yet, but it was graceful of her to explain rather than simply disappearing.
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I do think, especially in the covid section, that political views come out. It was good of her to explain why she was leaving. On one particular board I was on (it was that post punk kitchen) people who stated they were leaving the board for whatever reason were immediately attacked and mocked. The called it 'flounce.' And as I stated, that was a mean board.
 
AnnieA said:
I once moderated politics on a large board. Personal attacks are going to happen in political discussions and it makes for a lot of work for moderators. We had six, took shifts and it wasn't unusual to spend two to three hours a day cleaning up threads, issuing warnings. The most immature posts I've seen on SF are by Americans who try to sneak in little snide disparaging remarks against the other 'side'.
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I think there are a lot of angry people around, who do not have an outlet for their angst. They come on sites such as this just looking for an opportunity to vent their anger on someone.
Remember this next time someone has a 'dig' at you. You may be just a whipping boy...not the real target.
 
grahamg said:
Are you referring to me there, (guilty as charged I'm afraid!)? :)
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I was thinking of another site of which you are a member....there is someone who just won't stop denigrating Trump. It gets very tedious....I'm surprised that anyone still responds to him.
 
Remy said:
I do think, especially in the covid section, that political views come out. It was good of her to explain why she was leaving. On one particular board I was on (it was that post punk kitchen) people who stated they were leaving the board for whatever reason were immediately attacked and mocked. The called it 'flounce.' And as I stated, that was a mean board.
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When someone wants to leave a board, all they have to do is stop participating.
When they make a big show of leaving, they are acting childish, craving attention & sympathy & trying to make others feel just terrible about "Driving them away."
 
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win231 said:
When someone wants to leave a board, all they have to do is stop participating.
When they make a big show of leaving, they are acting childish & trying to make others feel just terrible about "Driving them away."
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Funny thing is, I notice this in more in members who have only been here a short while and in that short while seemed to be posting 24/7 during their brief associations.
 
Lewkat said:
My 55 yr. old son would be so insulted to be called a senior citizen. I told him about this site and perhaps he'd like to have a look at it. He stared at me as though I were a total stranger and then scoffed at such an idea. Oh well.
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I totally understand that sentiment from your son ..... my three 50 something kids would react exactly the same.

They aren't into senior citizen stuff at all ... No time for that in their lives yet.

They spend their time finding ways to keep up with their own kids activities, and all the places that they go online
..... that seems to be a full time job these days!
 
Just to encourage anyone of the value of occasionally letting one's mind churn through gears of understanding the logic of thinking structure per below examples. Enjoy finding some more nuggets we might laugh at.

30 Common Logical Fallacies–A Study Starter

https://academicinfluence.com/inflection/influence/logical-fallacies

Ad Hominem (attack directed at the speaker )
Speaker 2: Of course you would say that. You’re a Christian. Why should we listen to you? 👹

Appeal to Authority, The argumentum ad verecundiam
Aristotle thought women were inferior to men. Aristotle is one of the smartest men who ever lived, so he must be. 🤴

Appeal to Ignorance Argumentum ad ignorantiam
We haven’t found life on other planets, so there’s no life on any other planet, anywhere. 👾

Appeal to Pity The argumentum ad misericordiam
You should give me a promotion. I have a lot of debt and am behind on my rent.👨‍👧‍👧

Appeal to Popular Opinion The argumentum ad populum
Throughout history, most philosophers thought men were more rational than women, therefore this is true. 🐓

Causal Fallacy
It’s cold on a summer day. Global warming is a hoax. 👻

Circular Argument Circulus in probando
Speaker 1: You should trust the Bible because it’s the Word of God.
Speaker 2: How do you know it’s the Word of God?
Speaker 1: Because God tells us it is. 👰‍♂️

False Dilemma
If you aren’t a capitalist, you must be a communist. 🤐

Hasty Generalization
My grandmother smoked for 80 years and died at 100. Obviously, smoking isn’t harmful. 👹

Loaded Question Fallacy
Have you stopped beating your wife? :LOL:

Post Hoc Fallacy Post hoc ergo propter hoc
Every time we sacrifice virgins, it rains. Therefore, sacrificing virgins causes it to rain.

Red Herring Fallacy
Child: This fish tastes funny. I don’t want to eat this.
Parent: There are children starving in Africa. Eat your dinner. 🙍‍♀️

Strawman Argument
Speaker 1: I think we should have an expanded social safety net for the poor in our country.
Speaker 2: So, you think we should just throw money at lazy people who don’t want to work and think they are entitled to be kept up by other people, right? 🤑

Non-Sequitur Fallacy
My last boyfriend was really mean to me. All men are abusive. :mad:
 
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