Your Self Concept?

Shalimar said:
Oh, Remy, this is not who you are. I see you quite differently. Your childhood was viciously murdered, yet you survived. You are not a mirror image of your mentally ill, toxic mother, or your nasty, damaged brother. . Yes, you are damaged, how could you not be? Yet, you are still able to work in a field where you help people. Your capacity to be

close to people was shattered, but you pour out your love to your beloved cats, and a nearby feral population. In spite of the pain it causes you, you care for a very demanding stepfather. You are a very strong person, who lives with personal demons, puts dragons in boxes. This requires enormous courage. I admire your strength greatly. Your

endurance is phenomenal. Some of the strongest characters are covered in scars. These negative concepts you shared with us today are not who you are! These are force fed lies, gaslighting, designed to shatter your self esteem.

You are a worthy human being, never a thing, certainly not invisible. I see you! In many ways, we are sisters, and your struggle mirrors my own. Please do not give in to The Big Lie. You have a right to your own humanity. Hugs.
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I agree with Shali. @Remy, you're wounded but not a bad person. wounded is wounded. It's not more than that. Don't let them win after you've survived so much by thinking these untrue negative thoughts about yourself.
 

Warrigal said:
Wow. I am humbled to read some of the posts in this thread.

What can I say about myself. I was once described as a 'wisdom figure' at work because I had been there a long time and I 'knew things'. I carried a lot of the history and memories of that place in my head and I was willing to share them to encourage and comfort others.

I have come to realise that my superpower is to be an encourager, to build people up. I am now the matriarch of my family and I can do nothing better than to love them all unconditionally and to encourage them to be their best selves, to love generously. I have no power, super or otherwise, but I am content to be here for them when they need me and to be happy for them when they do not.

When I was young I longed to be an explorer but that was never to be my lot in life. Instead I have been daughter, wife, mother, teacher, grandmother and now great grandmother and all the time I was exploring how to love, and how to be loved. I am very content with who I discovered myself to be and I have no regrets and no unfulfilled dreams. I am at peace with myself.
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You sound almost as great as me @Warrigal 😊 :love:
 
Warrigal said:
It is true that I am well pleased to be me. I'm also pleased to hear that you are also aware of your own worth.
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Today I celebrated my 80th birthday with family. Hubby is well enough now to leave the aged care home for such events and we all had a splendid lunch at an hotel not far from home.

It was so good we even had 2 birthday cakes



These people are the reason why I am a very happy woman. They are all good people and I love every one of them.

 
Congratulations and Happy Birthday Warrigal, so pleased your husband is well enough to enjoy your special day !
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I like the Buddhist concept of self...

Self in Buddhism
From the Buddhist perspective, the idea of “individual self” is an illusion. It is not possible to separate self from its surroundings. Buddha in Lankavatara Sutra states, “Things are not what they seem… Deeds exist, but no doer can be found” (Majjhima Nikaya, 192
 
Warrigal said:
It is true that I am well pleased to be me. I'm also pleased to hear that you are also aware of your own worth.
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Warrigal said:
Today I celebrated my 80th birthday with family. Hubby is well enough now to leave the aged care home for such events and we all had a splendid lunch at an hotel not far from home.

It was so good we even had 2 birthday cakes



These people are the reason why I am a very happy woman. They are all good people and I love every one of them.

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Happy birthday @Warrigal Looks like you had a wonderful day x :)
 
Gary O' said:

Your Self Concept?​


I don't
and no longer care about my 'self concept'

I only care what my little ones think
If they see me as a refuge, that's all that counts
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So agree with this. DH & I work hard to be a soft place to land for our kids and grands.

I'm an ever-evolving human who has mostly stopped looking in the rear view mirror and rarely bothers to lick old wounds.

As my body withers with age, my soul brightens with gratitude for the gifts of life, love, and opportunities that have come my way.
 
Happy Birthday @Warrigal ....


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Warrigal said:
Today I celebrated my 80th birthday with family. Hubby is well enough now to leave the aged care home for such events and we all had a splendid lunch at an hotel not far from home.

It was so good we even had 2 birthday cakes



These people are the reason why I am a very happy woman. They are all good people and I love every one of them.

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Happy Birthday!!!! 💐🌺🌻🌼
 
Warrigal said:
Today I celebrated my 80th birthday with family. Hubby is well enough now to leave the aged care home for such events and we all had a splendid lunch at an hotel not far from home.

It was so good we even had 2 birthday cakes

These people are the reason why I am a very happy woman. They are all good people and I love every one of them.
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You are a GREAT looking 80! Congratulations and Happy Birthday!
 
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