With the thread "75 is long enough to live?" still active, having sex with your lawn shrubs at 81 may validate that suggestion!
He had probably just listened to a tirade on Faux Noise about how all regulations having to do with clean air and water were "gubmint overreach". When the commentator said, "If you're a Great American, screw the environment!" He took it literally!
Many people talk to their plants. Some may even lightly stroke their leaves. Only a few take their "love" of plants to the point of consummating that love in public.
"Well, after mistaking a bottle of ****** for my blood pressure medicine I could either plow the garden or trim the hedge. I chose the hedge!"