debodun
SF VIP
- Location
- way upstate in New York, USA
When I was a teenager, I promised myself that one day I would be a millionaire. Back in the 1960s, a million was a good bit of money. Today a billionaire is the new millionaire.
Another house that looks promising
- Thread starter debodun
- Start date
hellomimi
Namaste 🙏
- Location
- City of Angels
I learned money matters from ahma ( Chinese grandma on dad's side). When Chinese New Year comes, she gives all her grandkids ang pao, with different amounts on each. I was in grade school then, I got P50 equivalent to about $7. She asked me what I'd buy....a moon cake! But I thought it was expensive at P25 each. She said, "Will you be satisfied holding on to your P25 instead of enjoying the rich taste of moon cake"? I bought the moon cake, enjoyed every bit of it. But wait....there's more. Ahma tested me and I passed it. She gave me another ang pao with twice the amount. I never told my siblings and cousins the secret I unlocked. Ahma and Angkong escaped from communism and grew wealth in their adoptive country. As they prospered through hardwork, the more they shared wealth.
I think of the moon cake test when I have to choose between holding on to money or buying happiness. Thank you ahma.
I think of the moon cake test when I have to choose between holding on to money or buying happiness. Thank you ahma.
StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
Similar lesson with a different setting: I read an account by a woman who was in a terrible rollover accident following a dinner out with friends. As her life flashed before her eyes, and with absolute certainty that she was going to die in the crash, she thought to herself, "I can't believe I didn't order the F?#$#$# dessert!"
She said that ever since then, when she's offered dessert and wants it, she indulges.
Jules
SF VIP
That was your goal. What was your expectation for use of this goal? Sometimes that gets lost along the way.
Depending what you can afford, not the least you want to pay, find a well-finished home that will make you comfortable for the next 20+ years.
Also shop with resale in mind. If you had to move to a smaller place, would it sell to finance the next move.
I keep reminding myself what will happen with my savings. I want to enjoy some more things along the way.
StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
Very good point.
Yes! That’s a much more tactful way of saying it but you know me, if there’s a way of offending someone I’ll find it.
Either way, the result is the same. The hoarding of money and items to the point that it no longer serves them becomes pointless. My parents came from the war years which left a lasting impression on them.
The idea to scrimp & save isn’t a bad idea. It’s a good one but anything done in excess that has the opposite effect than intended is no longer purposeful and no amount of reasoning will shift this dysfunctional type of thinking, at least that’s been my experience.
I pray I’m completely wrong about this.
jujube
SF VIP
My two grandmothers were the exact opposite on money matters. One had plenty of money but the "wolf" was constantly at the door. She worried and worried and worried about her money. The other one lived on the edge but took the greatest pleasure in getting the maximum amount of enjoyment from her money.
I learned a lot from both of them.
I learned a lot from both of them.
That has NEVER been my experience with you, I find you to be warm, witty and compassionate.
Awwww ! Thank you. I’m never sure if I’ve stepped over that invisible line cause I’m not always sure where that line is.
It was the picture of her kitchen that “did me in” and showed real insight into the way Deb has failed to care for her house. I would never ever eat food made in that kitchen, and Deb shouldn’t either. Since Deb appears to be a recluse, with no friends to visit at their houses (as she has said in the past); she has no way to measure how bad her house truly is.
Her kitchen is horrific. The picture of her toilet was bad as well. She has the money to replace the toilet, and once replaced it can be kept clean with various products made to deal with the minerals in her area that she said caused those stains.
It makes no sense whatsoever to buy a new clean lovely house unless you keep it clean and lovely. Cleanliness is a habit which starts in childhood. If you don’t have the habit, it can be developed. Deb is working on developing this habit. Cleaning out her basement is the beginning.
Deb is impressive in that she cleaned that basement, and threw stuff away. I think Deb should start a thread on cleaning her house with before and after pictures as she did with the basement. She needs to start on that kitchen next, IMO.
Now @Knight I don’t think she wants pity. She wants friends and encouragement and she has that here. I think she needs to Sand paper those kitchen cabinets and repaint them, replace the floor, fix the ceiling, deep clean everything.
It can be done on the cheap DIY project side except for the ceiling. We took up our old floors in our kitchen in our old house and replaced it ourselves. 1/4 plywood, peal and stick tile flooring.
Once that is done, Deb will need to keep it up by moving on to the bathroom. Deb can prove to herself that she can improve her life and her house. I have faith in her abilities.
Online writing can be challenging ...no voice inflections, body language, eye contact to guide you as to what the person on the other keyboard actually means, sometimes. That's why a lot of...lol's are used to show "humor."Awwww ! Thank you. I’m never sure if I’ve stepped over that invisible line cause I’m not always sure where that line is.
It is said we are only using about 1-10th of our normal communication skills, so its a new art skill all in itself.
Learned in business if "personally" felt provoked at an incoming email, to simply set it aside for a day to get a fresh perspective before attempting to reply, otherwise damage control might become necessary and that could become a fruitless pursuit.
"Let it go till later" became the mantra.
Aunt Bea
SF VIP
- Location
- Near Mount Pilot
A million is still a good bit of money!
The sad fact is that if you don't learn to manage it and use it to improve your life or the lives of others you are no better off than the fella that's flat broke.
One of the major challenges with money is to realize your own weaknesses. As we age, some tend to get more set in their ways and "hording" with it and the definition of money to me is "freedom"...the opportunity to enjoy your life, more fully. So, perhaps the real challenge is "can you enjoy your life when things are good"? Or, is the money just a "burden of riches" to you.
Well said, Liberty.
Dear husband and I have talked about the issue of having lots of money more times than I can count, and neither of us would be happy.
Enough for a rainy day, great, as for the rest, it's nothing more than empty numbers with a dollar sign in front. Meaningless to me.
Knight
Well-known Member
Aneeda my use of pity was about what seems to me a reaching out to unknown people to explain the horrible condition her home has become. When she 1st began I felt sorry for her as a single 68 year old woman. As her various threads about her distrust & ongoing pics of her home escalated my feeling sorry turned into frustration at her totally dismissing all the suggestions posters have offered. Pity isn't the best way to describe frustration, better would have been not to post that at all.
Claiming to have in excess of 200k to pay cash for another home, pretty much brings it down to everything you have described. Your approach with compassion instead of frustration at how someone could hoard money and live in what best could be described as unlivable conditions is a way better approach.
Claiming to have in excess of 200k to pay cash for another home, pretty much brings it down to everything you have described. Your approach with compassion instead of frustration at how someone could hoard money and live in what best could be described as unlivable conditions is a way better approach.
The issue seems to be "how much is enough" money? The person that has a million extra bucks might say "its not enough" and fret about it. When we talk to friends that are very rich, its like a habit with them. Work hard, invest hard and have more and more disposable income. Soon life becomes "all about the money". Where and how you make it and spend it. The lifestyle you spend it in...becomes built in.
One friend of our son makes about 5 mil a year. They buy fantastic starter castles that look great and then remodel them anyway...lol. Soon it becomes all about the money even if that wasn't the original plan...we all know we will pass away and it can be mentally profoundly inconvenient for rich folks to KNOW the money won't accompany them. Puts some pressure on their golden years.
Told son "money doesn't impress me, true spiritually does. Time to be sure you're putting something in your "spiritual bank account."
Money has never done anything for me.
99% of folk that we know that have money, a lot of money (not rich but not poor), they're cheap, they're materialistic, and they whine and cry every time they have to part with nickel, and personally, I'm just not interested in being around that walk of life.
Problem I see with today, the internet and social media sites have made everyone around the world look at wealth differently, because it's in our face every time we turn around, and IMO it hasn't done society an ounce of good.
All it's done is made people aware of the inequality that exists today between the rich and the poor.
First, that's a good thing. People should be aware of inequality. Second, it is not "today" it is our human history.
True, also the investment companies have frightened people about how much they need to retire. It can be a vicious cycle, work hard, send the kids to the right schools, move up to your dream house and then what? This materialism issue can happen gradually and gradually, until you don't realize your priorities have changed. Think that is the danger of it. The rock solid "values" of America have been questioned and that is truly a concerning thing. Grass root ethics are incredibly balancing for all of us.
But it seems even worse today.
I recall old neighbours of ours going on a ski vacation to Switzerland, they also visited Germany while they were there, and I remember them saying that there was no middle class in those countries, just rich and poor, and that's going back 30 plus years ago, and from all that I see today, middle class is quickly evaporating in the west now.
It Definitely is Not! The people of Earth, All the people of earth, have more personal wealth and advantages now than ever in history.
I feel sorry for those who live to work, and for those who have no hope in ever retiring, no matter how much they make and how long they work.
Having dreams of grandeur I believe are common in ones younger years, but in speaking for myself, once you get older you learn to appreciate the simple things in life, like having ones health.
There's no amount of money in the world that I would take in place of my happiness and good health.
In my eyes, dear husband and I are some of the richest people the world over. We have our good health, our mobility, our wits, and we have our happiness.
That trumps seeing a bunch of dollar-signs in a bank account any day.
Son loves to work. He owns a software company and he and his girlfriend travel all over seeing clients.
Honestly think he would never retire unless he had to. He makes a lot of money but honestly does love his lifestyle, also!~
debodun
SF VIP
- Location
- way upstate in New York, USA
There's an old saying: If you have a job you love, you'll never have to work a day in your life.