Young Michael's birthday would have been tomorrow, but I think I'm ready for it.
My heart aches for you , too, Ina, and I know that I would not be holding it together, if I were in your place. Grief is a part of the healing , and there is no putting boundaries on how long or how deep it is, it is personal to each person. Treat yourself kindly, try to remember some of the good memories, and save them for the future.
As a Christian, I have been raised to believe in a future place called heaven, where we are together again with our loved ones. This gives me comfort when I think about the loved ones I have lost. I understand that your perception of religion has been totally different than mine, and there is no way to know that we will be with our family again; but there is no real proof that it won't happen, either.
If I believe in God, and it turns out that I was wrong, it won't make any difference; however, it gives me great comfort to believe that there is a loving Creator, who made this beautiful world for us, and wants us to follow that part of our heart that loves other people, and not the part that has no compassion for others.
I don't have the answer about good and evil, and think that Warrigal has done a wonderful job of explaining it. I don't know why so much hatred and cruelty exists, but it seems to me that some people have just lost that "spark" that connects us with God, who is LOVE.