Just senior humor

A woman was celebrating her 70th birthday and chose to stay in
to give herself a birthday treat. However, the situation became heated
when it was time for her to leave.

A 70-year-old woman decided to celebrate her birthday by lodging overnight
in an expensive 5-star hotel. She enjoyed her stay in the hotel room and loved the experience.

The next morning, the woman was perplexed when the desk worker gave her the hotel bill for
her one-night star. She was charged $250 and asked why the room charge cost so
The woman told the staff that the hotel is nice but that the rooms are not worth the
price she was charged for an overnight stay. She said she did not even eat breakfast.

The hotel staff explained to the woman that the $250 she was charged is the standard rate.
The woman was annoyed and demanded to speak with the hotel manager.
The manager told her that the hotel was home to an Olympic-sized swimming pool and also
had a huge conference center as one of its features.

He told her that the pool and the conference center are both available for use.
The woman insisted she did not use any of them. The manager told her that she could have used them.

He added that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is known for.

The manager explained that the hotel played host to the best entertainers from around the world.

Again, the woman insisted she did not attend any of the shows. The manager replied, telling her
that she could have used them. He mentioned many
other facilities in the hotel, which the woman insisted she never used.

After so much back and forth between them, the woman said she would pay the bill.
She gave the manager a cheque, and he was shocked when he looked at it and saw $50.

The manager questioned why the cheque was only for $50. The woman said she charged him $200 for sleeping with her.
The manager was shocked and said he did not sleep with her.
The woman replied, "Well, too bad. I was here, and you could have."
Now, that is a clear example of tit for tat! The woman paid the hotel manager back in his own coin
 
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Two police officers saw an old woman staggering out of a local bar, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail, they decide to just drive her home.
They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman.
As they drove through the streets they kept asking the old woman where she lived, all the old lady would say as she stroked the officer's arm is, "You're Passionate."
They drove awhile longer and asked again, but again the same response as she stroked his arm, "You're Passionate."
The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, "Look we have driven around this city for two hours and you still haven't told us where you live!"
She replied, "I keep trying to tell you, you're passin it!"
 
At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husband's marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, "Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!"
The priest responded, "Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?"
Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go pick her up."
 
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