Just senior humor

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Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife:
“Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
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“No”, she replies sleepily.
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“I went to the toilet and the light switched on
all by itself. And when I went out of there,
the light switched off again without me having to do
anything. I think I’m getting super powers!”
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Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter!
You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren,
and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking.
We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins?'
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old .. . . . I'm telling everybody!'
 
Marie5656 said:
Bob, aged 92, and Mary, aged 89, were excited about their decision to get married. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding, they passed a drug store. Bob suggested they go in. Bob asked to speak to the pharmacist. He explained they’re about to get married, and asked, "Do you sell heart medication?" "Of course we do," the pharmacist replied. "Medicine for rheumatism?" "Definitely," he said. "How about ******?" "Of course." "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?" "Yes, the works." "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antacids?" "Absolutely." "Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?" "All speeds and sizes." "Good," Bob said to the pharmacist. "We’d like to register for our wedding gifts here, please."
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LOVE this humor board! Laughter starting my day!!!
 
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