Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife:
“Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
-
“No”, she replies sleepily.
-
“I went to the toilet and the light switched on
all by itself. And when I went out of there,
the light switched off again without me having to do
anything. I think I’m getting super powers!”
-
Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter!
You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren,
and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking.
We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins?'
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old .. . . . I'm telling everybody!'