Just senior humor

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A Guy goes into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to a Hottie.
After awhile, she starts to smell a horrible odor coming from the direction of the Guy.
She turns to him and says, "Excuse me, but did you just Crap?" The Guy replies, "Yes ma'am,
I have indeed crapped myself." The Hottie says, "Well, why don't you go to the Bathroom
and clean yourself up?" The Alcoholic drunk says, "Cause I'm not finished yet..."
 

Guy is standing in front of a Judge, appearing in Court.
Judge asks, "State for the record why you want a Devorce?"
"Because I live in a two-story House."
"What kind of a reason is that to want a divorce?"
"Well," says the Guy, "One story is I got a Headache!"
"2nd story is," It's the wrong time of the Month."
 
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen start talking, and one says, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.

I would recommend it very highly.” The other man says, “What's the name of the restaurant?”

The first old guy thinks a bit and finally says, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?

You know… the one that's red and has thorns.” “Do you mean a rose?” “Yes, that's the one,” replied the old guy.

He then yells, “Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
 
Two Attorneys and two Prosecutors are on the first tee for some golf that morning.
The fairway is straight, it’s beside a road and bike path & fenced off on the left.
The first golfer teed off and hooks the ball into that direction. The ball zooms over
The fence bounces on the Bike path, over onto the road where it hits the front tire of
a moving. Bus and gets knocked back to the middle of the fairway. The other attorney
And the 2 prosecutors look on and wonder. ‘The senior prosecutor asks, “ How
Did you come to do that act?” The Guy says, “ I know the Bus schedule.”
 

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