Will you stay in your home as long as you can?

officerripley said:
My huzz is like you, just loves our acreage and this old country-fried living. What bothers me, though, is you can make all the aging-in-place adjustments in the world to your house but if you're too far away from anything to walk to, you'll be in big trouble when you can no longer drive. And let's face it, if you live long enough, that day will come. Heck it comes sooner than some people are willing to admit (most of whom are men). And taxis and ubers are nowhere near as reliable as they used to be (if they ever were) out in the country; a lot of taxi and uber/lyft drivers quit when Covid hit and aren't coming back.
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Good point about driving. However, I think there are a lot of ways now to get around driving if you don't want to, or can't. With all the online everything nowadays you can order what you need online and have it delivered right to your house. Heck you can even use the teledoc sites for doctor's appts. if it's not too serious.

We are hoping that by the time either of us can't drive, autonomous cars will be viable. Right now they aren't but I can see the time they will be.
 

Alligatorob said:
Yes it is and will probably be my limitation in the end. No Uber, Lyft, or taxis available here...

Hope those driverless cars get here in time for me!
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If they get the many problems of the driverless cars worked out, I guess using them would be okay. However, if you're in an area like me & some others where taxis, ubers, and lyfts are scarce or nonexistent, then the driverless cars will be too. Also, I'd a lot rather have a bunch of stores, bank branch, etc. nearby I could walk to; the exercise would be good and it'd feel more "independent" for me than sitting in a driverless car (no doubt be cheaper too).
 
Mellowyellow, there are other options than the two you posted about. Living in a retirement community is one of them. You are not in a "facility," you live in your own home, which could be a condo, a house, or whatever, But you're in a supportive community with tons of activities and opportunities for friendship.

There are "group homes," basically apartments where several people share work and expenses, sort of like young people having a roommate.

For those who need help with cleaning, cooking, showering, driving, etc., there are health care providers who can come to your home to help out. Some work a few hours a day, some a few times a week, etc. And there is live-in help available also. Expensive, but you are able to stay in your own home with your own familiar things.

The "facilities" vary also. Some are basically large apartment houses, where you have your own apartment but sign up for 1, 2, or 3 meals a day in the dining room. And they have lots of social activities. Some of the facilities are old-fashioned nursing homes, some are more like country clubs. Some are based on religion or other common interests.

Lots of options to choose from!
 
Sunny said:
Mellowyellow, there are other options than the two you posted about. Living in a retirement community is one of them. You are not in a "facility," you live in your own home, which could be a condo, a house, or whatever, But you're in a supportive community with tons of activities and opportunities for friendship.

There are "group homes," basically apartments where several people share work and expenses, sort of like young people having a roommate.

For those who need help with cleaning, cooking, showering, driving, etc., there are health care providers who can come to your home to help out. Some work a few hours a day, some a few times a week, etc. And there is live-in help available also. Expensive, but you are able to stay in your own home with your own familiar things.

The "facilities" vary also. Some are basically large apartment houses, where you have your own apartment but sign up for 1, 2, or 3 meals a day in the dining room. And they have lots of social activities. Some of the facilities are old-fashioned nursing homes, some are more like country clubs. Some are based on religion or other common interests.

Lots of options to choose from!
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Depends on the area you're in how many such options if any. And sometimes, people are unable to move to where such options exist. It's unfortunate but there are a lot of places (here in the U.S. anyway) that are lacking such options.
 
Si! Si! As in Mexico. I want to stay in my own place as long as possible. Bad signs would be a sink full of dishes, several falls or can't cook for myself. I live in Canada where there is a lot of help if you want to stay in your own place. We have "meals on wheels" programs, people can come in and clean and in the cities there are handivans to drive you to an appointment. I have been in government care homes and I'll tell you I sure don't want to end up there. It's like the "land of the living dead."
 
Spouse would like to stay here as long as possible. I'm more open to moving, but then I take care of 90% of everything, LOL – so for me, it would be a relief to move out of this SFH.

Having done a great deal of research when MIL needed a full-service senior facility (she had moderate dementia), we quickly learned to tell good from bad, as well as facing real-time costs. Yes, she was reluctant at first – "I'll know when it's time," she kept saying.

Except that she didn't know, and it was extremely stressful for her only child (my spouse). I finally stepped in and said, "It's time for you to move." The facility we chose for her was top-notch and SHE LOVED IT. She went into the Assisted Living section, with all meals, housekeeping, and activities. The regular schedule, excellent food, congenial socialization, and the safety of a secure 5-acre campus made a huge positive difference in her mental state.

When MIL passed away, we felt confident we had done the very best possible for her. We were touched by how many staff and residents came up to us afterwards to tell us how much they were going to miss her.

As Boomers, we're in a different mindset. We don't want to stay here forever. It isn't an easy house or property to maintain, and cannot be retrofitted for universal access. We will either move into a rental condo, and hire the services we need; or move into a senior facility.

Since it's not likely both of us will die at the same time, much will depend on which one of us lives longest. We are both agreed that of the eight facilities we visited in our area – in which we would prefer to remain, as it's centrally located to services, friends, and family – there are two which rank best. Which one we choose will depend upon whatever the current situation may be at the time.

So our options are: a rental condo next, then Asst Lvg and eventually Skilled Care Nursing; or, Asst Lvg with SCN available if we live so long. One of the two facilities we would choose, is the same one we moved MIL into. We think very highly of them and keep in regular touch; they have an on-site Senior Center and their care of the elderly disabled residents is outstanding. Both facilities are non-profit and fairly small, with less than 220 residents.

We are very fortunate that money is not an issue for us. We each have an LTCi policy with generous unlimited benefits for Skilled Care Nursing, that also pays for home healthcare assistance. Our investment portfolio and pensions income will cover the 90-day waiting period, and after that anything extra needed.
 
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My mother died at 99, she was still living at home.....she was able to do this because she was fairly healthy up until the day she died of a stroke, and because my brother and I helped her to stay at home....he did the maintenance around her house and I bought her groceries, paid her bills and took her to her appointments.....she spent her last 20 years preparing for us when she would no longer be here....I intend to do the same for my children....and I'm optimistic that they will be there for me so I can stay in my house.
 
Jackie23 said:
My mother died at 99, she was still living at home.....she was able to do this because she was fairly healthy up until the day she died of a stroke, and because my brother and I helped her to stay at home....he did the maintenance around her house and I bought her groceries, paid her bills and took her to her appointments.....she spent her last 20 years preparing for us when she would no longer be here....I intend to do the same for my children....and I'm optimistic that they will be there for me so I can stay in my house.
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That's really an inspiring story. I have a friend who is 93, still lives on her own, drives and goes to the office several days a week. And she's had a couple of strokes and recovered. I visited her recently. She drove me to the restaurant, was flying in her car and honking at people at lights when they didn't go. She is amazing, and I want to age like her.

Unfortunately, we have no children so there will be no one to take care of me as you and your brother have so graciously done for your mother and I've done for mine.
 
MrPants said:
My mother made it in a 3 story house almost to 100 years old (3 months shy). She's been in a care facility since last Aug. and hates it. It's a decent place and they care for her well but with Covid and all, she's completely isolated to the outside world. No visitors and no outings. Hopefully that will improve as the vaccines make an appearance! Food in these places is always an issue too. They gotta cook stuff that's bland in taste with the texture of mush so you can "gum it".

I don't think any of us have a real choice in how our old age will work out. Health, both physical & mental, will determine that for us. I know I'm gonna do all I can in my upcoming retirement years to remain active and adventurous as long as I can. What happens after that .... who knows. The issue is your mind doesn't grow old as your body does, unless you develop dementia/Alzheimer's. I've seen that in an Uncle and I know I don't want that kind of ending!
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I am hoping my dr was correct in telling me in a month Pfizer has a new pill to treat Covid 89% effective. We have got to have some social contact with others. Me included - if I stay home even one day without going out I am lonely. I am italian and italian people need people although where I live I am the only italian - live in a small town under 4000 people - most people here are German and are tough - it doesn't bother them to be alone. Wonder why it does me? Haven't figured that one out yet. Guess we are all different. But do have hobbies - make prayer shawls and rosaries but still need some interaction with people.
 
kssf said:
I am hoping my dr was correct in telling me in a month Pfizer has a new pill to treat Covid 89% effective. We have got to have some social contact with others. Me included - if I stay home even one day without going out I am lonely. I am italian and italian people need people although where I live I am the only italian - live in a small town under 4000 people - most people here are German and are tough - it doesn't bother them to be alone. Wonder why it does me? Haven't figured that one out yet. Guess we are all different. But do have hobbies - make prayer shawls and rosaries but still need some interaction with people.
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You sound like you are an extrovert...I am as well, but I'm more like an ambivert. Why didn't they come up with a pill first to treat Covid instead of putting the cart before the horse...jmo :rolleyes:
 
Ladybj said:
You sound like you are an extrovert...I am as well, but I'm more like an ambivert. Why didn't they come up with a pill first to treat Covid instead of putting the cart before the horse...jmo :rolleyes:
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You know that is an excellent question - the sad story is they had treatment like ivervectin, hydroxychloroquin, dexamethasone and also certain vitamins to help prevent covid or make it not so serious but the CDC were not being honest with the people. I'm afraid Dr. Fauci ended up being more of a problem than help but lets pray this new antiviral pill will be out soon. My dr said it will be here soon and everything will be okay. Wonder if it is just one pill or a full 30-day prescription - time will tell.
 
I think I like to be with people as when I'm home alone I tend to worry about stuff - which is a bad habit - wishing I could stop this negative thinking sometimes because I have many blessings to be thankful for. Anyway, keeping my mind on something at all times is helping me.
 
Because we have to make money on a vaccine. We already had treatments that worked well. Ivermectin and hydroxychloroquin plus preventative vitamins etc. I think we have a very corrupt CDC Director. Very sad.
 
This is a very good question. Once my husband reaches retirement age we have discussed moving to an area with more mountains out in the Midwest . We have yet to pinpoint that exact location, but Colorado, Montana, Wyoming, Washington State were some that were discussed.
 
My husband and I moved to Dallas 16 years ago. We have frequently discussed moving to another state, but Climate Change is a big consideration.

When I was working, my headquarters was in Seattle. It is a beautiful city, but recently they have been inundated with bad weather... brutally hot summers, smoke from the Oregon fires, flooding waters, etc. I love Washington state and have friends there, but I can't imagine living with that. We love Oregon as well, but no thanks.

Check out the other states you are considering as well. It is no longer just about quality of life. It is about how Climate Change is affecting the areas. I think we will be staying in Dallas.
 
kssf said:
Because we have to make money on a vaccine. We already had treatments that worked well. Ivermectin and hydroxychloroquin plus preventative vitamins etc. I think we have a very corrupt CDC Director. Very sad.
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Please don't turn this thread into yet another Covid argument. I know you are a new member and you may not be aware, but we've all seen enough of these. That is not the intent. Maybe stick with responses to the title? Thank you.
 
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